Last month I wrote about our friend Boz who battled cancer and won. It was brought to my attention the other day that his sister had left a comment at my post. (That particular post went into my archives and I don't usually check the comments on those once they're stowed away.)
Anyway,I went and read it and was very touched by her words and also by the fact that this was shared with his family. That was really the last thing I expected, hell, I expected some smart alleck comment from mr. cancer faker himself but never did receive on. Instead, I received a very nice email from him and was a little taken aback and didn't know what to say.
Then I went to check on the comment section to this post just a few moments ago and found yet another comment from his mom. Again, very kind words and many thanks for standing by him through his ordeal. We couldn't physically be there for him and it bothered us both a great deal, guilt was high for Pat and myself. But our hearts and our minds were there 100%.
I must admit that I am flattered that this particular post was shared with his family because in all honestly, I just told Pat the other night that I could've done better in writing that. That our friendship with Boz isn't the "mushy, I love you, oh you're so special, give me a hug" kind of friendship but one full of laughs and joking around with eachother so it was somewhat weird to write about our true feelings for him. But even Pat told me that he thought I summed things up really well. Men, the things that matter to them are so much different than those of a woman. And I always feel that I could do better.
I hadn't realized how very little Boz knew about our true feelings, how we all really felt about his life. Sad isn't it? After all, when friends are friends those inner feelings are just kind of taken for granted by ourselves. And I said to his sister that it was sad on our part that it took a serious illness to knock some sense into the friendship, not in those words but in a nutshell.
I don't think that Pat and I are prone to telling people how we feel. Too many times it has made us both very vunerable and has been used against us in a negative way. Oh yeah, I can certainly write about my feelings but to share with someone face to face, I just don't do that. And Pat, well, he tells me, but that seems to be the extent. Neither of us wants to be hurt like we have in the past.
We still won't talk mush with Boz, hell no, that just isn't how we work but at least now he has an idea how much he matters to this family! At least I hope he does...don't put me through the agony of telling you again Boz...man, I worked up a sweat just trying to explain it the first time! LOL
But I wanted to thank him and his family for their kindness that they have shown. I didn't mean to 'touch' anyone with my musings, just to share some pent up feelings and a few jabs about a friend who matters. Just sorry that it took as long as it did. But I think what he knows now will last until he's 100 years right? Just kidding.
Thanks again to you and your family Boz, the things that your mom and sister have said have really been kind and comforting. Not too many out there that would take notice of such feelings and recognize them for what they are.
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