Thursday, January 06, 2011

What a way to start my day!

I've been up since about 6:45 this morning and I just have to share how amazingly eye opening, and warm the first two and a half hours of my day were.

One of my old daycare parents and I were texting last night--her and I had a falling out when I quit doing daycare. Her and her family were really good friends to me and our family. She's in the process of trying to set me up with a family to do childcare for. We've run into each other here and there and caught up a bit but that's about it.

I awoke this morning to four text messages from her explaining all the pertinent details and fired back a text thanking her and telling her that I was so grateful for her recommendation despite our past falling out. Lets just say her and I apologized to each other and she said some very kind things to me. Things that I chose to block out for the past 4 years because I didn't think they meant anything anymore. (I have a tendency of doing that). Good things, things that she was always good at pointing out to me because she is just that kind of person. A good heart full of love, gratitude and wisdom. And I have to say, she is probably one of those people that I really miss in so many ways.

Then, after my shower and getting dishes done I opened my email and was very surprised to find one from one of P's coworkers. Normally when people work with people, the significant others are just that and no more and rarely acknowledged for this reason...

P and I gave cookies and pies to three of those people he works with for the holidays. Me being who I am was terribly worried about how those homemade treats would taste. Both P and I like to give to his coworkers because of 1) how wonderful they have been not only to him but to his family--not with gifts but with genuine care, concern, support, and not to mention a genuine interest and 2) they are like an extended family to him and us. If I go to see him at work his boss never fails to remember those events we spoke of last or things P has shared with her about our families and I have never been made to feel unwelcome...the individuals there are like those I worked with as a para at the elementary big family.

So this email was a thank you for the treats letting me know they were scrumptious and that this person appreciated the fact that they didn't have to prepare any pies for Thanksgiving because of the one we gave. At the very end of it she told me that P was one lucky husband...honestly, I always hear what a lucky woman I am to have him and with everything I am, that is so true---- but that? I'm certainly not used to that except from P himself..he's always telling me how lucky he is and frankly, it makes me blush.

I am extremely touched by her kind words meant for me from someone I only know a little. She is not the only one there who has shown me that I am an important part of P's life other than just his wife who sends him off to work. If there's one thing I miss about my job as a para, it's that. If I was having a down day because of something stressful, my coworkers hugged me and then immediately wanted to make sure my family was ok as well. They knew that if I was affected by something that it certainly meant my entire family was....not just me.

So own husband tells me that she's right and he's been saying much of the same to me since he went back to work this week. He told me yesterday that I'm his everything and he doesn't know what he would do without me. He tells me this so often and sometimes I swear I have that 'selective hearing' feature because there's just so much muddle surrounding those good things that should be glaring in my face--meaning my husband and my children and those outside of our reach who touch our hearts in ways that many times we don't even recognize until a moment like this morning. The moments of my strength that many times are taken for granted.

I have to say that I needed to hear these things this week. Last year was a rough year for our family in a lot of ways...I'm unemployed, a wedding, our youngest going into middle school, a scare with P's folks, a cancer scare with one of our children that I never spoke about, a friend of mine's husband has cancer, friends who have lost loved ones, and so much more. I don't like to speak much about those things that tear at my heart--it gets overwhelming.

But today started out in a way that I haven't had in a very long time...I was ambushed with some really nice compliments and words from friends, the man I love, and from someone who barely knows me and it's made one hell of a great day for me. One can only find the positive in the negative if they are really looking...and with all the stress and heart wrenching that's been twisting me up inside this past year I've been holding on to that while only taking a glance at those things that should matter more than all that that can eat a person up inside.

Here's to keeping the chin up and preparing to tackle what this new year will bring. I sure do hope it's nice to us!!!


T said...

Hey Wann, Your post made me realize that I don't tell you nearly enough how much your friendship means to me. Love you! T.

louie said...

Hey Spaz,

Thank you my friend!!!!! The same goes here...I'm never very good at telling people things like this except in writing. But we've known each other for a lot of years and neither of us was ever the type to tell the other that! LOL

It is nice to hear but first I have to get the wax and peanut butter outta my ears so I can really hear if ya know what I mean....I'm just not always good at accepting some things. Ho to be me!

Thanks again Spaz and know that as friends go, there are only a few in my life that are one of them. I appreciate the different qualities each of my friends has regardless of how often I may see or talk to them...but mostly, how often I reveal that to them. You know me...never one to share my true feelings...God forbid I might be vulnerable then! LOL