Sadness lingers deep

Sometimes life doesn't seem fair, sometimes a person wonders why we continue on each day. Sometimes there's a big question of why or how could things have been different. Things we were never really taught about in school, the realities of living day by day.

My friend's father passed away yesterday morning. She is down in Arizona, basically unreachable. Our other friend called here with the news. There is really nothing I can do, I've texted her and let her know that I'm here if she needs to talk at all but know from my own experience that she probably won't take me up on that offer. That's ok, I've really yet to speak to many about my own experience with my father and really have no further desire to do such at any time in the near future.

While I cannot take away any amount of pain she may have in her heart, I hope she knows that I wish that I could, that I wish that none of this happened to her family or to mine or anyone else...but it is what it is. My reaction to this was stone cold numbness and a sense of what good will it do for me to drop down and cry like a baby. What a horseshit reaction that sounds like....let it be known that while taking a shower I bawled like a baby for her, for her mom, for her siblings, for her dad and for just the way we must all cease to exist. Of course my own experience came flooding back which only added to my tears. I guess that's just a given for now, until wounds heal...

I want to thank everyone who said a prayer...from both myself and my friend. I'm sure she really appreciates your support and kindness.

As for Mr. S.; May he find the peace and serenity that he so much deserves. While his last days were a struggle, he was blessed with the presence of his wife and children on Thanksgiving Day and was also able to be in his own home. His last days were rough and as with my own father, I am grateful that Mr. S has finally found some peace.

R.I.P. J.S.