Monday, April 14, 2008

A few words

I took a mental and emotional break from all the sadness that's been surrounding my family the last week. As I sat at the hospital yesterday, it dawned on me just how very tired I was. Not just physically but mentally and emotionally. It's been one hell of a week and things aren't over yet.

My dad had a good day today. His breathing is being worked on...he has to do lung exercises to strengthen his lungs because he's not using them like he's supposed to. Of course he hates them but who in their right mind wouldn't.

We are in the next phase of things, trying to determine what the next step will be. Since I wasn't at the hospital all day today, I don't know all that much. I only called a couple of times to see how things were but didn't want to engulf myself. The head feels as though it's going to blow wide open with all the information.

I would have to say that my entire family is exhausted. On top of all that's going on with my dad, we've all been bickering and getting irritated with one another and that only adds to the stress and the sadness and the worries about what we're doing to our mom. Having a big family really makes for a circus and I just hope we can all come to a certain peace and deal with the situation at hand as adults. We are not what is at stake's just that simple. I guess in a sense I had to disconnect for a day.

Pat has been wonderful as have the kids, I cannot put into words just how understanding they have been. My job, while it was over in two days anyway...they have been absolutely unbelievable. The support has been something out of this world.

I've only been home a couple nights in the last week and I'm starting to feel it. That, there, here, there...which way do I go.

In the end, things seem to be settling a little bit but that could change so my hopes are not up. It's just been a roller coaster and a myriad of emotions that I will never be able to put into words. Overwhelming is the best I can do..

Anyway...I'm sure there will be more. Tomorrow I will be going back and staying with my mom overnight. Us girls have been taking turns in that department because we don't want her to be alone during all of this. Being married to a man for 55+ years and living in the same house with that he is not able to be there..I just couldn't imagine what my mom is going through nor will I ever try. I just want to try to help her feel safe and secure in the knowledge that we are all here for her and that it's ok to lean on us.

Take care all. There is a website for my father but I can't seem to get to it...once I do, I will put it on my blog and you can go visit if you so desire.

Thank you for all your support and prayers.

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