Due to feeling as though I'm simply being harrassed and insulted by 'anonymous' commentors', this post has been moved to my private blog. I have not posted that anonymous comment nor will I since it's nothing but more insults and accusations and one sided bull-hooey! If someone is really interested in finding that comment they could certainly do it, it's not deleted but it's most definately not worth my time.
2 comments:
there are two sides to every story there are two people whos words can hurt another person and the fact you are not close with other woman that is a bond that can be so strong you are missing out on that, although my husband is my rock as well be makes me feel better than anyone but also keeps me grounded and see things from other peoples point of view not giving into my childish ranting. Only an infant is innocent no one else so let me say this "yee with no sins may cast the first stone" i love that one and this is a free country and let me say this i believe that this blog was done in a delibratly hurtfull manner as we girls do in juinor high you just said with bigger words but take all and it is still the same
Anonymous said...
there are two sides to every story there are two people whos words can hurt another person and the fact you are not close with other woman that is a bond that can be so strong you are missing out on that, although my husband is my rock as well be makes me feel better than anyone but also keeps me grounded and see things from other peoples point of view not giving into my childish ranting. Only an infant is innocent no one else so let me say this "yee with no sins may cast the first stone" i love that one and this is a free country and let me say this i believe that this blog was done in a delibratly hurtfull manner as we girls do in juinor high you just said with bigger words but take all and it is still the same
5:00 PM
Can someone tell me what it is about friendship that I'm missing.
Dilemma. To me, a friend isn't about measuring the friendship by the material things that one can offer in a friendship. It's not about offering another something and then when things go amiss throwing that offering up in the face and using it as a scale as to how much you give in said friendship.
To me, a friendship is about the ability to laugh, to weather some uncomfortable conversations and situations and to know that friend well enough to know that no matter how the words might be said, to really evaluate that situation and deal with it as a friend would. To me it's not about throwing up insults or hurtful words.
If I offer another money, or to drive their child to a game or someplace I understand that it's a 'burden' that I have inflicted upon my own schedule and self and that taking it out on my friend isn't how it would be done. That I should deal with my feelings of 'inconvenience' accordingly and not use it as a tool in which to hurt another.
As a parent, if another asked me to step back and to tread lightly in certain situations as far as their child's best interests go, I would do no less then to respect their wishes. I don't think that I would take it on a personal level but more as a parental figure and work around that particular situation accordingly.
Over the years, accepting material things, food, or other 'gifts' from family and friends has really turned into a way in which others throw ammunition into the fire of a supposed friendship or sibling relationship. 'Thank you's' and giving as much as we could to make up for our lack thereof of dinners out or rides here and there have meant nothing to people. Or put more simply, what we have given is like crumbs or simply non-existent to those who feel they have more then done their share in that said relationship. And half the time we don't even ask for these 'favors', people just want to give. I guess to me if I give, I expect nothing in return nor do I feel it's fair or right to use those offerings as a way in which to measure ANY kind of relationship! I guess I do things with genuine thoughtfulness and think nothing more of it except when another decides to tell me that I have given nothing. It's at that point that I make a tally and wonder what in the hell the other person is talking about!!
I have told myself over and over that we should just stop accepting things that people offer 'out of love' or the 'goodness of their heart' because in the end, it just seems to bite us in the ass. And to me, that is thee most perplexing thing.
When my children are involved, I do have a vested interest in their well being but some how, that turns into what an ungrateful person I am. And I am being mean when I have certain requirements as to how my child is handled, not honest but mean.
I give what I can in a friendship. I have my best friend that I lean on in times of need....that is my husband. He is my rock. I am not one to delve into a deep friendship with females simply because my life is my own, private...well, somewhat private and I am not needy in that way. Because my marriage is solid, I don't require a female to counsel me.
My kids are my second solid, they are there even when I don't want them to be. They are as close to friends as a parent can get in a parent/child relationship.
So, can someone tell me why it is that when I attempt to be just a friend, why people offer things up happily because they want to help or they're just doing it because they are 'my friend' that simply being who I am is just not good enough.
Inquiring minds would love to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Louie at 10:08 PM on Jun 23, 2007
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