Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Our baby has left the nest

Our first born left yesterday for basic. The day went exceptionally fast. I took the day off of work to spend with her but it seemed like it wasn't nearly long enough.

Her party on Saturday went really well. But we were all completely spent afterwards arriving home around 11:00. Then on Sunday we took a trip to Duluth as per Peanut's request before she left. Her boyfriend had never been to Duluth before and he ventured along with us. He was fortunate enough to take a 'dip' in Lake Superior. Brrrrrrr, there was a 30 degree temperature change from our house to Duluth. Not overly unusual but imagine swimming in the coldest Lake in Minnesota when the temp is 54 degrees. The kids had a good time.

Now, I find myself in a funk. Sad, mopey, and all around emotional. Saying goodbye yesterday was so...dream like? Like it wasn't even happening and she was just going away for a couple of days. Yet life is just passing us by at an unbelievable speed. Our first born baby, Tootles, Peanut, Dana, is gone for 3 months. I know, it's not the end of the world, she'll be back soon but not being there to protect her, to take care of her, to kick some butt if someone dare to hurt her! What an empty and helpless feeling.

Telling her to take care of herself, God, the feeling that I was such a horrible mom sending her away. She called us last night at 11:00 and that was even worse then saying good bye to her before she left here. Neither of us wanted to hang up the phone, we must have said goodbye 15 times before she finally hung up. And her voice sounded so 'little'.

One day all of our kids will grow and leave us. But I don't know that any parent will ever feel comfortable setting them free. That we as parents will ever feel comfortable in the knowledge that we have done our job yet our job will never be done no matter how old. I certainly talk about how one day it will be nice to have the opportunity to be with my husband once our kids are grown but ultimately I miss the hell out of my baby and her plane probably hasn't even left the ground yet.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, that she is safe and that this summer will go fast for her. I find myself tearing up uncontrolably since her phone call...Man, time sure does escape us!

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