Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Tears of pride as well as helplessness

Today is a hard day for me. Hasn't really been in the past but it is this year. Independence Day, a day that I wish more people would look at differently as far as what they have in this life and why.

Our daughter is away at basic training learning how to be a soldier. As her invitation said, 'leaving a girl, coming back a soldier'. I don't know that what she is doing will really ever completely sink in with me but today, it seems to be hitting me hard. Tears have been coming and going and there is yet another reason for that that I will get to briefly.

But for my daughter...she called me--ME--yesterday. She needed me for something, of course it was to call her boyfriend but she was getting some heat and there were some problems...So far away from me, I couldn't hold her, I couldn't make it alright, all I could do was tell her it will be ok and to shape up and this won't happen. That feeling of helplessness again and hanging up knowing that I couldn't turn around in an hour and just ask her if she's ok.

Then when I told her the news that I recieved yesterday, she completely lost it! Crying so bad that I could hardly understand her, having to tell her to calm down so I could understand, and hearing her say, "I wanna come home Momma". I could do nothing! Gawd what a horrible nights sleep I had. Each time I woke up I was thinking about her, hoping that she was ok, hoping that she sucked it up and dealt with the crap that was going on, and hoping too that she is learning some valuable lessons. Mixed, mixed emotions.

Ok, top this off with a phone call from my bro...he's being shipped out in about a week and a half. That was the icing on the cake for my daughter btw. They gave him no notice whatsoever, he has a wife and 4 kids, and no time in which to prepare.

He's a career military guy, NEVER been called up before and now suddenly, once we all start to think that it's not going to happen because he's very valuable here, he gets the call. I know, he's military and we should have all been prepared...paaaaleeeeeze! There is just no preparation for this.

But today is a hard day as I said before. My patriotism is soaring past the clouds for those in uniform and for those families who stand by their soldiers and sacrifice as well.

I just want to write my own personal tribute to you all. I know it's not much to offer, that I will never fully understand your courage or your dedication to an entire country of people but THANK YOU! My daughter, my brother, Pat's grandfather, my friends' relatives and friends, and those I don't even know....THANK YOU.

No comments: