Friday, March 30, 2007

Old age brings with it some humor

Thanks T.


Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night
the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells
the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"
The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She
starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to
sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that
forgetful, "knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of
you as
soon as I see who's at the door."


Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine
March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"
"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."
And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."


A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say

She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her gown at him,
she said, "Supersex"

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take
the soup."


Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years,
they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their
had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day,
playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at
me ..
I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what
name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared
and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I
just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"


Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see
the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection.
The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the
passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn
we just
went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another
intersection and the light was red again. Again, they went right through.
The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been
but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting
At the
next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on
So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that
ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, crap, am I driving ?"

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