I have been sitting on this post for a week now. Pictured here is our oldest daughter, who I have never posted a photo of for more than 24 hours. However, in this case, I cannot resist that urge. I am just way to proud of her for words! And she looks so cute. :)Isn't she short??? LOL Yes, today she passed her physical and is now enlisted in the Minnesota National Guard as Private First Class.
This was a long process and I have hinted about this in previous posts but didn't want to make it official until this very moment.
My beloved brother, Sgt. Major has been a God send making this process a lot easier and less stressful than I think it would be for many others and I want to publically thank him for all of his hard work, his service to this country, and tell him that I love him more than he knows. Thank you so much for EVERYTHING Bro!
So last week, the final paperwork was signed and completed. We have been anticipating this day for the last week more seriously, and it came. She left here at 8:45 pm last night to spend the night at the hotel. She hated the pillows, slept for only a couple hours only to be woken up at 4:30am to endure the next 7 hours of a physical and the final processing.
This hasn't been bothering me all that much, I am so very proud of her, and it has been to me, like just a next step in her life that I am here to support, and accept. But last night, when I hugged her good bye, my eyes welled up with tears just out of the blue. My little blue-eyed baby was no longer a baby and the reality of it all hit like a semi. But those tears were quickly ebbed by questions from Pat and the recruiter here to pick her up...thank God.
I slept quite well, my brother woke me up with a phone call at 7:45 this morning, asking if I had slept ok. I said, 'like a rock'! We shared a few words, me in my stupor and I don't even remember the conversation and the wait began for all of us! The phone was ringing off the hook all morning and each time it did I had hoped it would be our daughter...she was supposed to call the MINUTE she found out if she passed her physical. At that time, I had many phone calls to make to let others know because there would be many who were going to be at her swearing in.
Waiting, waiting, waiting. 10:00, 10:15, 10:20, man it was like watching a pot of water begin to boil...By 11:05 I was getting very frustrated and impatient! Yelling at my phone...calling Pat...pacing...biting my nails...messing with my hair...and then finally at about 11:25 she called. And obviously she passed her physical.
Hurrying to get out the door and to Pat's place of employment...guess what, here comes the panic attacks while I'm driving. I had to pull over twice during the 20 minute drive. Where was this coming from I kept asking myself. The answer of course is very obvious but it hadn't been a problem the days leading up to today?! I just wanted to get to our daughter and hug the shit out of her! And it seemed like everything was in the way of that.
Longer story short, I made it to Pat's work, we drove to Fort Snelling and waited some more. Until 2:00 to be exact before the event was to take place. Nothing big really but for us, it is a big deal. It's a big step for our little girl!
At about 1:30, I pulled her out of the room to have a chat though. I had to ask her if this is really what she wanted to do for herself. To make sure she wasn't doing it to make us or others proud, or because she felt that this was her only window. She smiled at me and said, 'Mom, you're going to cry'! I said, "No, I'm not, I just really want you to be doing this for you and nobody else and to know that this is not what anyone expects of you." My eyes were starting to sting but I refrained. She swore that she wouldn't do this for anyone but herself and she's wanted this for years while looking me square in the eye with nary a smirk. I knew she was telling me the truth.
During the swearing in, my anxiety and panic collided once again and I had to squat down for fear of passing out while she was being sworn in. It was a small room with 13 of our family members and 5 recruits being sworn in and if you all recall, I am very claustrophobic and simply put, a nervous ninny.
Man was I irritated with myself. My heart swelled with pride for her and those others being recruited today. And the oath, what I did hear of it while struggling to overcome that stupid anxiety/panic crap, only the strong in heart, mind and soul would give themselves like this!
The day has now turned to darkness and our girl is off with her boyfriend kicking his butt in a few games of bowling. She's growing up...cannot stop the act of growing up now can we! It's most amazing all those who would question our parenting in this situation, who cannot believe that we would LET our daughter make this choice. She's nearly 18-years old, when are kids no longer kids? I will ask, if there were no war going on right now, would they care? Isn't going to college just as big of a choice, and just as big of an allowance for many parents? And last but not least, how can another question the love and belief a person feels for their country, or their freedom and the act of defending that belief? If you want and believe in something bad enough, doesn't it only make sense to support that decision and to go after it?
Thank you to all of you who stood by while our daughter took probably one of the first biggest steps of her adult life. Your presence there will never be forgotten! Oh, and Bro, that smile on your face after the swearing in? I don't know who was more proud, you or us! LOL But I will never, ever, for as long as I live, forget that priceless smile on your face!
Congratulations to you my first daughter! You have proven to me that you are growing up, that we have to let you go and have faith in our parenting of you all these years, and mostly, you have proven that you are one hell of a woman!
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