Today was the first time all week that I teared up a little. All week long I've been talking to the daycare kids about how in so many more days, they won't be coming back to my house to play. As it goes with kids, they just look at me with a blank stare and continue on with their moment of play. No big deal.
Of all of my daycare kids, I would have to say that the 2-year old little guy, who will be 3 in just a few days, has been the biggest challenge of all. I have had him and his sister in my care since they were both under a year old. He has provided me with much frustration, many laughs, and just all around difficulties. Those are usually the ones that us daycare providers love the most it seems because the end results usually show through in ways that amaze and melt ones heart.
Anyway, today after lunch I was changing him and getting him ready for nap. While doing this I was telling him that after tomorrow he wouldn't be seeing me, Pat, the kids or the animals anymore. That we would be all gone. Of course he asked me why and I told him I was going to go to work now and not be home. We talked about it for about 5 minutes actually because I feel that him and his sister just don't get it, what I'm saying.
After I finished telling him in a way I thought he would understand, the smile left his face, his eyes grew big and sad and his arms wrapped around my neck so tightly. He laid on my shoulder all the way to his nappy place holding on for dear life. Tears filled my eyes as I kissed him goodnight and told him I loved him. Receiving that kind of hug, well, it's hard to explain. This kid gives great hugs as it is but this one was much different.
His sister did much of the same but she grabbed me tight and told me, "I love you LeAnn". But this was after she put on her Mermaid crown and just HAD to show me how pretty she danced. God, what a doll.
Talk about a rough realization for me. All my memories of these two, good and bad came flooding at me. But it was a good sadness, not one of regret. They understood, they know now that when I tell them tomorrow that they won't see me what it is I'm saying...I hope.
After naps, the kids were themselves again. I took them outside to play. Earlier in the morning I took them to the grocery store and the older one picked out lunch...chicken legs, jojo potatoes, watermelon and buns. I was quite impressed with her choices and this is no lie. But I also let the kids pick out pumpkins. They were so excited.
While we were outside, the 2-year old played in the sandbox most of the time but suddenly he made his way up the hill to my side. His lip was pouty, he had sad eyes, and said he wanted his mommy. He walked over to me and gave me a hug. I picked him up and put him on my lap. He sat there all nestled into me and didn't move a muscle.
See, with this little boy and his sister, I have received more hugs and kisses from them for no apparent reason. They would stop what they're doing and rush over to me and tell me they want hugs. Since I love hugs, I was more than happy to oblige. It's actually a daily habit with these two, one that makes all the difference in the world.
Anyway, do I have regrets now? No, I don't surprisingly, just a deep sadness for the loss of some very special little human beings that I have grown to love very much and who have grown to love me in a way too. I will cry tomorrow at some point I know. Saying good-bye always sucks. But I look at it this way, we all live within 8 miles of eachother and frequent the same stores quite often. So in a sense, it's not good bye, its just...'Until next time'.
And life will go on.
Just one more day...
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