If they're outlaws, where does the term in-laws come from?

Maybe someone can help me with something here.

Pat and I went out with some people last night, played some darts, and had a few beers. During one of our discussions, the term, 'in-laws' was brought up.

Here is what I need help understanding.

Pat is my husband, he is my family, him and I have created our children who are the nieces and nephews to my brothers and sisters and his, the cousins to those children and the grandchildren of my parents. 'Family' is my definition of this entire group, including Pat, right?

Ok, well, during this discussion, it was told to me that in-laws are really the outlaws. They are not a part of the family, they are not welcome as a family member. That they can call their spouse's parents mom and dad and believe that they are special and part of the family but in reality they are just the outlaws and don't have any right getting involved with family, they are not 'blood'.

I hope I'm not confusing things here but my definition of family is much, much different than this persons.

I cannot imagine excluding the husband's of my daughters from the family unit nor the wife of our son. With out the second half of those relationships, the term family would not exist. There would be no grandchildren, there would be no carrying on the family name. All these years, if I go to my family functions, my husband and our children are right there with me and the same with his family. He is invited just as much as I am.

This angered me quite a bit when it was said to me. I did everything I could to bite my tongue and luckily, remained quiet with my thoughts boiling in my belly. Reason for this is the alcohol was flowing thru this persons system, and I have had PLENTY of experience with the effects of alcohol on one's emotions. I just don't go there. Thankfully, I was only drinking pop at that time, so I had much control over my thoughts and words.

Anyway, if there are some who may have some input on this, I would be curious. Maybe I'm just weird or something but I feel that when someone in my family loves another and that person makes the other happy, then I should accept that the best I can. Does it mean that I have to completely dote on the in-l... ooops, outlaw? No but out of love and respect for my family member I would make an effort and I would have to say that I have some damn good 'outlaws' in my family, one's who I am friends with and whom I love very much. They are a part of me and my family. It's really too damn bad that this person is missing out on something that could make a family complete. Love, acceptance, and respect.