Last but not least, the daughter who began it all for Pat and myself. She has got to be the one that we have experienced the most with. Broken bones, mysterious illness', new experiences in life, her gags, her free spirit, her ability to love and to forgive, and her ability to stand up and tell whomever gets in her face to back off and leave her alone. But mostly? She hates it when people are unhappy.
This kid, man she is a strong girl. In spirit, in heart, in convictions, and in love. Not to mention physically. You have all been reading about her injuries...well, she has gone back to playing soccer. Just last week in fact and guess what...she came home with a broken finger. And tonight she tweeked her knee again. 'But she's fine now', in her words. She reminds me of those football players who use cortizone to take away their pain so they can get back out on the field and play.
But there is a secret about this little one. She is ultra sensitive, easily hurt but only shows me or her father. To others she is just a pit-bull and won't back down. She has a select few friends whom she confides in but they have stabbed her in the back and she has told me many times that she doesn't trust anyone. She will only talk to me and occasionally her sister. Her grades are mediocre and that is ok, she has brains in other areas that her sisters don't. Good intuition and qualities that I wish the other two possessed for later in life. I don't expect my kids to be academically brilliant nor do I expect them to be brain surgeons or street peddlers! I expect them to be happy and to make choices that THEY can live with but to remember to be wise about it.
But they all share a big, sensitive heart...shhhh, don't tell them I said that.
As for the oldest? Sometimes I think she hides behind her happiness and am keeping an eye on her. If I can get her to cry and pour out her feelings to me because she gets so mad at me for prying, I know that I've done a good thing for her. And a lot of times, weeks later, she will come up and thank me for this. And each time, I feel that door opening just a liiiiiiiittttttle more. But she is very guarded.
Thank you and sorry are used a lot in this house. By all of us, not just me or the kids but by Pat as well. And when my kids tell me they are sorry or thank me for some petty little thing I feel really good. Our oldest is probably the most appreciative of all of our kids. Go figure, she is after all the oldest, our first one in which to make our mistakes with. But I have few regrets with her.
She has less than 2 years before shes out on her own although I don't think she'll ever leave us. Yes, I worry about her because of that part of her that is still a little girl, that part of her that is still a little naive, and that part of her that leans on me maybe once a month.
Pat of course has very few worries about her. He thinks she will of course make her mistakes but will ultimately do great out there on her own. I want her to be out there on her own because she is at that age where she 'knows most everything' like most teens her age, but that part of me that wants to protect her from everything is screaming inside.
I know that these all got rather lengthy and do apologize for that. I love to talk about my kids. It helps me to keep in perspective what is important in life. It helps me to realize that I am doing what I have chosen to do, be involved with my kids and their lives. I certainly don't know EVERYTHING about them but I don't know that I would want to anyway. There are just some things that are better left unsaid I think, not only for me but for my kids as well.
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