THIS BLOG IS HERE TO STAY! THIS IS MY BLOG AND THE FRIENDS I HAVE MADE IN THE BLOGOSPHERE ARE MY FAMILY
This has been a very rough few days for myself and for Pat. That feeling of being completely defeated was really eating me up and it was killing Pat to see me so beside myself with the loss of my life's work.
I have been spending hours at night searching the blogosphere for just the right place for my journal and as many hours as I can get in the mornings doing much of the same. I have been consumed with stress and anger over the antics of people with whom I share blood. However, if given the choice, I don't know that I want to even admit to sharing blood with those who would be so cold, callous, uncaring, and who would betray me in such a way. Yes, this may be hurtful, this may be mean, this may very well be wrong of me to say, but it is simply how I feel. And we all have our own feelings about things.
While searching for a new home for this very precious journal, to me anyway, thoughts have been circling in my mind. Pat's as well but it was just a couple of hours ago that him and I discussed it. And we both decided on the best place for this journal. RIGHT HERE IN BLOGGER LAND.
Yep, I have made the decision to stay here. In removing this journal, I am doing EXACTLY what this nasty woman wants, she wants to cause this pain and finds great satisfaction in doing so, obviously because since things were removed, she hasn't been back. I was also helped to arrive at this decision by a certain family member, who I will not reveal, as well as some friends. These are my thoughts, these are my aches and pains, these are my memories and damn it, I own them.
Thanks to all of you for your wise words and support!
By removing this blog, I would be doing what I have always done, what my family has always done...I would be ALLOWING my "sister" to intimidate me into silence once again. But I have decided I won't be manipulated by her controlling bitchiness, and her nasty words. In fact I decided that 3 years ago but in this instance, with this particular part of my life, it took me a few days to figure it out.
Do I feel that she deserves to know about my life? No, but she finds out anyway, there are other moles who spill what they know. Am I afraid of her sharing my thoughts with my mom and dad? Not anymore. I cannot control how she percieves things nor can I control whether my parents believe her. Either way, she will find another way to hurt my family and me, she will find other ways to twist what I am trying to say simply because she doesn't understand me or know me as well as she likes to think.
Her life and it's experiences are hers and I don't assume she is making up lies about her negative experiences. I don't begrudge her her life experiences and never have...we all grew up in the same family, yet we all experienced differently the impact that childhood presented to us. It's just that she chooses to translate her experiences with herself as the victim. Always.
....YAWN....Anyone care to go to her pity party? I'm sure it's in full swing, in fact it has been for all my life....
So, on that note, read away. Because I am not a victim. Think what you will about my own personal experiences in life. I have nothing to hide, I am not ashamed, nor am I too embarrassed to admit that yes, our family is just a little dysfunctional...well, okay, maybe a lot.
This has been a very rough few days for myself and for Pat. That feeling of being completely defeated was really eating me up and it was killing Pat to see me so beside myself with the loss of my life's work.
I have been spending hours at night searching the blogosphere for just the right place for my journal and as many hours as I can get in the mornings doing much of the same. I have been consumed with stress and anger over the antics of people with whom I share blood. However, if given the choice, I don't know that I want to even admit to sharing blood with those who would be so cold, callous, uncaring, and who would betray me in such a way. Yes, this may be hurtful, this may be mean, this may very well be wrong of me to say, but it is simply how I feel. And we all have our own feelings about things.
While searching for a new home for this very precious journal, to me anyway, thoughts have been circling in my mind. Pat's as well but it was just a couple of hours ago that him and I discussed it. And we both decided on the best place for this journal. RIGHT HERE IN BLOGGER LAND.
Yep, I have made the decision to stay here. In removing this journal, I am doing EXACTLY what this nasty woman wants, she wants to cause this pain and finds great satisfaction in doing so, obviously because since things were removed, she hasn't been back. I was also helped to arrive at this decision by a certain family member, who I will not reveal, as well as some friends. These are my thoughts, these are my aches and pains, these are my memories and damn it, I own them.
Thanks to all of you for your wise words and support!
By removing this blog, I would be doing what I have always done, what my family has always done...I would be ALLOWING my "sister" to intimidate me into silence once again. But I have decided I won't be manipulated by her controlling bitchiness, and her nasty words. In fact I decided that 3 years ago but in this instance, with this particular part of my life, it took me a few days to figure it out.
Do I feel that she deserves to know about my life? No, but she finds out anyway, there are other moles who spill what they know. Am I afraid of her sharing my thoughts with my mom and dad? Not anymore. I cannot control how she percieves things nor can I control whether my parents believe her. Either way, she will find another way to hurt my family and me, she will find other ways to twist what I am trying to say simply because she doesn't understand me or know me as well as she likes to think.
Her life and it's experiences are hers and I don't assume she is making up lies about her negative experiences. I don't begrudge her her life experiences and never have...we all grew up in the same family, yet we all experienced differently the impact that childhood presented to us. It's just that she chooses to translate her experiences with herself as the victim. Always.
....YAWN....Anyone care to go to her pity party? I'm sure it's in full swing, in fact it has been for all my life....
So, on that note, read away. Because I am not a victim. Think what you will about my own personal experiences in life. I have nothing to hide, I am not ashamed, nor am I too embarrassed to admit that yes, our family is just a little dysfunctional...well, okay, maybe a lot.
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