Stressmas

Hey, its almost Christmas!!!! Oooh, I said that word. With all the controversy you know the word Christmas could be cause for a lawsuit or something.

For the first time in a long time I am excited about Christmas. I have many family and freinds coming for the Holiday, ones in which I love to be with and those who don't hate me because I am a Republican. We just don't talk about it....well, for the most part. It's my families Christmas this year and the first time in years that we have been with any of them for this day.

I love to be with Pat and our kids on Christmas. Our families have caused us much stress over the years and Pat and I have had it up to our necks with that in our 17 years together. He complains about the gray on his head while I demand that my daughters pull out the 10 that grow every month. And they are more than happy to oblige, any chance to intentionally cause me discomfort they run with it with evil giggles erupting from their bellies. We attribute all the gray to stress of course but most likely its normal.

Pat and I used to have a very full holiday season. As with most families I'm sure it's just as overwhelming as it became for us. We live an hour away from family so for Thanksgiving we would rush to my folks, eat a light meal at around 1:00 and cut that visit short and then rush to his folks and do the same. By the time we would get home, it would be bedtime and we were exhausted. For Christmas Eve we would then go to his folks for dinner and get home after 10:00pm, put the kids to bed, wake up, cram our own family Christmas into roughly one hour, shower and be out the door again to spend the day with my family. It became an obligation, a chore and really started to sour us over the holiday season.

Finally, we decided that we had to stop. We just had no time to be with our kids as a functional family. And for us, being with our kids as much as possible is very important to us. So, we came up with the 'we will celebrate Thanksgiving with his folks this year and Christmas with mine and then the next year we would flip flop' and that would give Pat and I one day to be together with just our kids for one of the three holidays. We thought it was a brilliant plan. Well, so much for that.

Over the years, my family has accepted this arrangement, in fact, my family hopped on board and started to create their own schedules but we are all sure to go visit my folks somewhere in there. My parents are usually booked with one of my 7 brothers and sisters for Thanksgiving and for Christmas now and not many invitations come. With my entire family in one room, there are nearly 40 people altogether. Makes for tight quarters and irratable kids and adults so we just do what we do. No pressure.

His family, well, they have really thrown a wrench into this which is understandable yet Pat and I get frustrated. They don't seem to realize that we have to do a lot of driving and that we work 40-50 hours a week, run kids here and there, sports, etc and are simply trying to find some time to be with our own children where none of us has anything to do but sit and just be. I guess I look at it as they don't respect that we want to make time for our own family. Our schedule is not taken into consideration and they are very inconvenienced when we cannot work on theirs. Of course this is hard on all of us because when Pat and I try to explain things to them they get easily offended.

Pat and I are pretty laid back. We enjoy eachothers company a great deal and we enjoy our childrens company too. We have come to the decision that people just need to deal with our decisions. For years we would give in and be so unhappy with ourselves but knew that it made others happy.

And this year, I actually grew a spine and said no to every suggestion made to me about how we should alter our schedule. Sadly, we have to go pick up the kids' gifts tomorrow without the kids so grandma and grandpa won't get to see their faces when they open them. This was their choice. I offered different days that they could come out and celebrate but they made excuses and this is what they decided. Ahhh, more stress coming our way I fear.

I have been to the store the last couple of days looking here an there at things but don't really want to buy gifts for anyone. My standard gift would be and has been homemade cookies. One year Pat and I were mocked and given dirty looks for giving cookies to his brother. We were pretty broke that year and I put a lot of hours into baking them. I had a freezer full of every type of cookie you could imagine. My parents laughed because they gave us the same gift that year, my mom's homemade cookies.

Today I started my cookie baking marathon. Guess what, that brother is going to get cookies again this year. Na-Na-Na boo-boo!! Yes, I have issues with his family but I also do with mine.

Is this normal? I hear so many people talk about how they can't seem to find it in their hearts to be with their parents or families because there is just too much water under the bridge. I don't get to see my family all that much. Pat and I just don't have the time anymore. Our calendar is full every weekend it seems.

But like I said, I am really excited this year! I have my menu all planned but of course feel as though I'm missing things on it. I've been buying decorations for the house and for the first time ever even hung some lights and garland out on our deck. Our tree is a really fat 'junk' tree and I even put up lasts year's sad excuse for a tree. A three-foot tall tree with mini ornaments with fiber optic lights. ( I really didn't have a good year last year for the holidays so I just bought this little tree) My second oldest daughter will never forgive me for that either but I keep telling her it was probably the first and only year that they got so many presents that they couldn't even see the Christmas tree.

Ugh, I'm just rambling tonight. Felt like posting but not about anything in particular. Forgive my scatter brain..........