The 'Pride' of journaling

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Judith's Artsy Essay Contest Entry: Why I keep a Journal

http://journals.aol.com/judithheartsong/newbeginning/entries/1493

I am sure many have pondered this question in their own way but I myself wonder if all the people that I argue with, agree with and laugh with on the internet would like me as a person aside from my politics and/or beliefs. If we met somewhere on down the line if we could like each other as people.

I have met a variety of people through my journal and although I have shared some nasty words with a few, I still seem to think that overall, politics, beliefs and opinions aside, that they are a great group of people. We cannot disagree on everything nor can we agree on all things either. That is just a common sense analogy that I think most would agree with me on.

I have a sister that if I were to meet in a dark alley I would run away screaming from because of past differences her and I have. To this day, that stands true, probably the one person in this harsh world that I know that I could not like for various reasons. And today, yesterday or even tomorrow, I just don't think that I will ever like her as a person. She is one of those truly evil, manipulating people that can ruin one's life in one sentence and I will say, she has done so. But that is not really the point of my entry here. Simply the only example of someone that I don't think I can ever trust or talk to again.

I have a lot of respect for the people in my own little circle of the blog world. Even those with whom I have been completely insulted by. I am more of a Conservative Republican but do occasionally venture out into the den of lions for my lashing so to speak. As those lions venture over to my site once in a great while to lash at me, well, they are invading my 'pride' so I feel some sort of authoritive stance onmy own turf. I know, I know, that is so ridiculous but I have to stand behind myself and protect my musings. Protect the very thoughts of my mind.

The great number of wonderful people who come to my site to leave the kind and gentle remark I always welcome with open arms as I am not always up for a lashing. I have my sensitive weeks too, come on now.

For the most part though, I would like to believe that on the surface, that in some way, friendships are being made, and a certain respect is being established. I like to see the good in people. I like to look at people for who they are. And I would just like to state, for the record, that I do enjoy the arguments. And this is the reason: Very occasionally a post will go up at 'the enemy' site that I will agree with 100%. And when that does occur, I will leave a comment, with great caution expecting the wrath only to find that my comment was accepted. It is like peeking out from behind a tree making sure I am clear of danger sometimes. The whips have been left in the boxcars for that moment and we have established an actual conversation. That is so liberating. Sounds stupid but what a feat for someone like me who walks into that den of lions with my head held high and that righteous aura eminating from me.

I am a very shy person and it takes a long time for me to open up to anyone in the vocal sense. Put a pen in my hand, or a computer in front of me and obviously, you cannot shut me up. Writing is my way of communication in a lot of ways and journaling has opened up so many friendships, so many revelations, and so many ideas and thoughts for me. It has made me into a more expressive person both in public and in writing. It has given me more of a spine but then again, at times I wish that I could break it once in awhile. The old foot in the mouth syndrome.

Although I have only been part ofthe on-line community for just 4 months, it has been an eye-opening and very fulfilling experience for myself. And Judith, well, she seems to bring out more in me than just about anyone, and I don't say this because of her current contest as a tactic to win points but through her contests, I have been made to think a lot about myself, my life and who I really am as a person.

If not for all the people in journal land, journaling would leave me very little to offer nor offer my own self much to write about. Writing in just a notebook about the thoughts swirling in my head tends to get a bit tedious and when I only have my husband to share with, well, it can be a very biased conversation. The array of differing opinions from people I don't even know, well, I just love the battle royale and others' input.

Journaling is good for the soul, good for the mind and good for the heart. It is a great release of stress, knowledge, and at times, emotions. I know that not everyone shares my views in this entry but honestly?

Who cares!!!!!

Written by louie0768 .