Sunday, June 26, 2005
I'm sure that many parents will relate to this story. Afterall, when it comes right down to it, no matter how oblivious we might think kids are or how they just never listen, we all know differently. Although, sometimes it seems that they only listen when you don't really want them to.
A couple of things that come to mind for me quite often are the words of my oldest daughter and my youngest daughter. Both occured while I was in the kitchen making dinner, how odd.
My first daughter was helping me make dinner, getting things out of the fridge for me, talking about her 7-year old problems and we were just having a good time. I must point out that in our home, there is a lot of joking, a lot of teasing, a lot of laughing, and not a lot room for much else. After all, it is very hard to stay mad, especially at a child.
So, I had her go into the fridge and grab the milk or something and she says, "Mommy?" and I looked over at her and she had that mischievious look about her. I said, "yes honey" and she steps out from behind the door holding a hot dog 'there' and said, "Look mommy, I have a weiner" and giggled as she waved it back and forth. I dropped my spoon as my eyes bugged out and my mouth suddenly turned to jelly. Trying to contain my laughter was quite difficult but the shock I felt helped to subdue that ever so slightly. First I used a stern voice and said, 'that is not nice, that is gross, and not something that you should be doing!" Then I proceeded to ask her where she learned to do something like that but never did receive a solid answer from her. I had a good idea though...school kids are pretty sexually explicit around here.
Each of my 3 older daughters have come home in kindergarten with knowledge of things that I honestly wouldn't teach them about until they were much older. However, because I was asked by all three what sex was and what french kissing was by the time they were 1 month into kindergarten, I had to pull out the book titled "Where Did I come From?" Quite a graphic book I might add but one in which I would recommend for parents who want to teach their kids about sex.
So, with this little dilemma over and done life went on and became a memory to laugh at today.
Now, my youngest daughter, she is a real spit-fire. She is definately spoiled and quite a princess in this house and can be a very difficult little girl. She is now 10. At the age of 6 months, when she started to learn to scoot was when I said that she was going to be a girl that would get what she wanted as well as a handful. So far, I was not wrong.
When she was three she surprised us all. We were in the kitchen talking, joking around, heckling eachother and Pat had said something to me, I don't remember what, but my reply was given in a quiet tone and I told him, "You're such and a**hole!" not actually meaning it, just joking, and from behind me I hear, "Mommy, Daddy's not an asshole, the car in front of you is!" Again, my eyes grew big and the kitchen was dead silent. I looked at Pat, him at me, we looked at our other two daughters and all at once we burst into laughter. Of course Pat and I quickly made an attempt to stop, reprimand her for this little act and walked around a corner to laugh silently. It was later learned that our little angel had learned this from her father when he was driving to the store and the car in front of him was doing what those cars do that upset other drivers.
Now, some may not find this funny or the other one either but these are only a couple of memories. We don't like our kids to swear, don't get me wrong but we also don't ban them from doing so. I was banned from this act as a child and to this day, I am a potty-mouth! Horrible words come out of my mouth. I was also the kid who went to school and swore like crazy because my parents weren't around to hear me.
Kids just bring a smile to my face with most everything that comes from their mouths. Of course once they get into their teens, well, there are just those days that I long for them to be little again.
Other memories? The time period in which our second daughter was being potty-trained. We spent a lot of time bringing the kids for walks in the woods. During one such outing, we stopped for a little picnic and there were porta-potties right there. Our 3 year old swore she didn't need to go potty so we continued to eat. She finished up and started poking around still saying she didn't need to go. Well, in mid bite, I had to stop and laugh because there she was, standing in a puddle, pants still pulled up, going potty. I was a little frustrated but it just struck me as funny that she stood there. I changed her clothes and we decided to finish our walk and go home. We get home and there was standing water on our sidewalk. What does my 3-year old do? She walks right into the water puddle, stops and wets herself again. We discovered through a few more walks that for some reason, she would seek out the water puddles and wet herself. Maybe she thought it was a toilet or maybe it was like that 'hand in warm water' thing but either way, she is now 14 years old and we still tease her about it.
Our son absolutely loves our dogs. We have a Beagle thats 1 1/2 and a Golden Retriever thats 10 months. Between the three of them, it is all we can do to contain ourselves from reprimanding, training, and a lot of times, laughter. Our Beagle, well, he is just as full of energy as our boy. He was quite nippy for his first year of life, loved to bite anything and everything. Including our son.
Well, not that the kids didn't deserve it as 5-year old boys do have a rough streak in them. But on one particular night, they were going at it and the dog bit my boy on the arm. Next thing I know, I am not yelling at the dog but yelling at my son. He has taken it upon himself to bite the dog on the nose. He placed the whole snout in his mouth and bit him hard enough to get the dog to yip. Both were punished, the dog sent to his bed and our son sent to his room for about 5 minutes. But I guess my son figured that the way to get the dog to stop biting that he should bite him back just so he could feel the pain.
This occured a couple more times but the first time he did this we all laughed out of pure surprise. Maybe the dog learned or maybe having the retriever around has eased the biting but all the same, being the worried mom I am, I of course don't think that it's healthy for a kid to bite an animal. Maybe he'll be a serial killer or a cannibal or something.
I would love to have some of you share your memories. I love stories that make us laugh, especially about our kids. It makes being a parent a lot less stressful if I can learn to look at the things they do with humor as opposed to anger and disgust.
Written by louie0768 .
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