Befuddled

Our WeeMan is three today!

2012-01-20T12:13:00.003-06:00

Today is our grandson's third birthday and it sure is a day of remembering for some reason. He came into our lives and we were in a shocked/limbo kind of state. He was born nine months to the day of my father's death, he came into the world on Obama's inauguration day, and I will never forget looking into his eyes the first time and seeing my father's eyes.

At first I didn't know what to think...people picking on us about being young grandparents, our daughter so young herself, the idea of this new little life in our family, and still mourning the loss of my father...that seems to never go away btw except it does ease a bit, except around holidays. But this little WeeMan of ours...

He was the new life, the new beginning of a new phase of our family. The end of thinking we were just parents and our kids were going to go on to do great things like marry good mates, have great jobs, go to college...it's truly amazing how reality slaps people in the face when they are least expecting it.

Our daughter has done an exceptional job with this little guy...he is a character, full of life and energy, learning new things everyday, a daredevil like his mama always was, his smile lights up any room...oh could I gush about him.

I never could comprehend that special feeling that people always talk about--grandparents and their grandchildren. That connection was something I never even thought about..perhaps because I wasn't prepared to be a gamma, as Wee so lovingly calls me. The kid hops into my lap and wraps his little arms so tightly around my neck that there are times I am choking. He gives me fishy kisses, tells me loves me, calls me and the first words from his mouth when I say hello are, "Happy Birthday Gamma" lol.

Maybe it was because all I knew was how to be a mom and holding a child that looks so much like our first born was a bit awkward at first...he has her eyes, her cheeks, and so many other traits of hers. He looks like our son on some days. So much so that even his own mama thought that a picture of our son from long ago was her boy....

Oh I do love being a gamma...special weekends with him, seeing him and our daughter every other week to go shopping and he'll grab something off the shelf and ask if I will get it for him, hearing him tell me he loves me or Happy Birthday just like Frosty the Snowman...

He is very dear to P and I. Poor P hardly ever gets to see him so I send him pics when I can and I can just hear the envy in P's voice when we talk. He adores that little guy so much.

Anyway...today marks year three of being grandparents to an amazing little grandson. His mama is a good mama, dotes on him like most of us doted on our own, spends a lot of quality time with him, preparing him for preschool already, taking him out to enjoy and appreciate nature and all that surrounds him...I couldn't be more proud of her and the little boy she calls her son. He is just as amazing as his mama was at his age and will most certainly continue to be so despite her frustrations with his stubbornness and selective hearing. I just laugh and laugh whenever she complains about his attitude or his defiance....heck that's all I can do because I been there done that! Now I know what my mom meant when she would tell me, 'you just wait, your day is coming'. I often hear those words spill from my mouth but I must keep to myself the words, 'I told you so'. teeheehee

Tomorrow we go to her house to celebrate the third milestone for all of us. I know the day will be great, that I will stoop down and tell Wee to come give me a hug and he will run into my arms and do just that. I love hugs from my hubby and my kids but I have to say those coming from that little guy have a new place in my heart..one specifically meant for him and all the future grandkids that I'm sure P and I will have.

Happy Birthday to our wee grandson today!!!!

New Years 2012

2011-12-29T13:00:00.003-06:00

So far this vacation has been absolutely wonderful--well except for two days of a stomach bug for myself but I'm better today thank goodness! A lot of laughs, relaxation, visits to the grandparents, visiting my father's grave, and just being lazy. Yep, lazy! What a concept.

P and I were just discussing how there's only five days left and it just put a sour taste in my mouth. The thought of him going back to work, the kids going back to school, and my computer becoming a permanent fixture on my lap everyday...yuk. So, I'm not going to think of that.

As I anticipate the coming New Year, I think back to the last year. It's been a tough year for us...lots of things breaking--cars, boat motors, fishing poles, water mains, water heaters, deck doors..all within just a few months. How resilient we all are to these dumb things..how we all manage to get over that hump each and every time something puts a halt on our progress to better things.

Ahh, the human spirit. I speak of it a lot. The ability to laugh things off, the ability to learn, grow, and adjust accordingly. The ability to bounce back. If there is one thing about most of us it's that we don't look back and dwell but we move forward and use that past as a step. If a person dwells they only live in their own pool of sorrow and become a victim and frankly that in and of itself is a sad thing.

What is New Years? Why is it such a big to-do? Frankly, I don't really know. It's just another day with a new number much like a birthday..another year older, another way to confuse me if I have to write out the date on a check or some form...resolutions are made, great things expected, but in the end, after January 30 we are all adjusted to the new year by then, doing taxes, and life goes on just like last year. Some get new jobs, others get married or divorced, have babies, lose weight, quit smoking, we all age another year but in the end it's just life moving on.

For me, it's relishing the moments I have with those I love, with friends I've made, cherishing milestones of my children and grandson, and simply enjoying another day to live and breathe. Each day is a new beginning for myself--anticipating what that day will bring. Maybe I'm not one to plan ahead and make a regimented schedule of how my life will be by the next year. That's just not my style. One day at a time is more my style. All I can say is that I know I'll be fishing, playing golf, and continuing my schooling next year while seeking out a job. These are the only things I know but they are not resolutions, they are those things I have to do to grow and enjoy my life with my family and friends.

Yeah, holidays make me a scrooge at times. Generally I'm a Christmas scrooge but this year there was much to be thankful for and a general peace surrounding the holiday. New Years? Well...to all those out there that do in fact find this day to be a new start I wish you all the best of luck in your resolutions, hope that the New Year brings you everything you hope, and that everyone stays safe and sound in their celebration of those bigger and better things! For myself? I will resolve to not be such a scrooge next year but yeah, that is yet to be seen. ;0)~

Happy New Year to everyone!!!!!

Merry Christmas 2011

2011-12-24T16:40:00.003-06:00

Christmas is here; a day to spend with those you love; a day to create more memories and share laughs together; a day to enjoy the little things in life that often times get forgotten or are taken for granted. A day to remember why we are here and how lucky we all are to be alive--to live, laugh, and love.

Remember those who are serving our country, take a moment to thank them for their sacrifices, to realize that while we sit in the comfort of our homes with our significant others and/or our children that there are men and women thousands of miles from home, away from their wives and children, their parents and siblings. While we all sit and feast and share gifts and conversations the troops away from home can only send a video or talk over the internet or a phone call. They cannot see the delight in their children's eyes as they open up their favorite toy, or the tears of another missing them...they cannot hug their parents or their families. Think of those families who have a loved one in Iraq, or Afghanistan and imagine that lonely place at the table, the inability to share a child's glee, or a simple kiss under the mistletoe...remember!

Merry Christmas to everyone who may read this blog! Merry Christmas to my father who is watching over my family and is very missed by us all. Merry Christmas to wonderful friends and family who have been by my side through thick and thin. And mostly, Merry Christmas to my husband and my children...those who have never wavered in their love and support..those who have loved me despite my flaws and short-comings. I couldn't be happier than I am at this moment..I am so very blessed to have who and what I have in this life. Love, life, breath, and happiness....there is no gift greater than that!

Merry Christmas and may you all enjoy this holiday season as much as we will!!!!

What a great week!!!

2011-12-11T13:32:00.006-06:00

Wow, it has been one really fantastic week! Wednesday was my birthday but I have to say that it seemed to be everyday last week beginning on Monday.

I caught a 4 3/4 lb. bass the summer of 2010. I may have talked about it in a post back then but sadly it swallowed the hook and died. P and I retrieved it from the water because we just couldn't stand the thought of such a beautiful fish turning into mush over the course of a few days. On the way home we went back and forth about who would clean it--neither of us had the heart to cut up this beauty. I mentioned off the cuff that we should just get it stuffed and well...that ended the 'who cleans it debate'. We brought it in in August of 2010. The guy finished it nearly a year to the day and it had been sitting in his shop collecting dust since then.

P made a command decision that he wanted me to have that fish for my birthday--everytime we thought we could get it, well, a car would break, a water heater went out, or other expenses came up and we had to put it off. So this time, P had a brilliant idea of calling our older daughters and asking them to chip in so he could get me my fish and they all happily agreed. So on Monday we went and got my fish and man it looks just as beautiful as the day I caught it. But it wasn't good enough for P.

We had to go to Menards and get all the fixings to create a mount for this fish. A piece of wood, some dowels, and P had to have a 4 x 6 picture frame so the original photo could be displayed on the mount next to the fish. It was a great Monday for him and I..lots of running, he worked hard to make that fish look like a trophy and displayed it proudly above our tv. It was a shrine and one that is hard not to look at nearly everytime I look towards the tv! Oh and we also got our tree, a traditional birthday gift for me...it's really fat and about as tall as us. It sits here with the lights on but no decorations...the kids have not been doing their job!!! =0)

That was the beginning...all week long P was cooking me meals, cleaning the kitchen and on my birthday he scared the crap out of me. I am generally at home all day; quiet, peaceful, no interruptions. I was in my kitchen putting dishes in the dishwasher at around 12:30 waiting for P to call me on his lunch and our back door swung open. I had a handful of silverware at the moment; I thought maybe a gust of wind came and grabbed the door which is nothing unusual but then the big door flew open and I froze. My heart was in my throat--I had no idea who was entering our house....I stood there with my hand clutching the silverware half stooped over thinking, holy shit and all the sudden up hops P and he had a huge grin on his face and said, "Surprise honey!!! Happy Birthday!!!" In my panicked state the most I could muster at first was, 'what are you doing here?' Needless to say we had a great afternoon once my heart settled down.

After that our two younger kids and P made me dinner..we had waffles, sausage, and orange juice. I had a childhood favorite of waffles with blueberries and whipping cream on top. Mmmm, it was yummy and I was miserably full after that. The week continued with P and the kids doing nice things for me and on Saturday, our oldest threw me another small b-day party. It started with an all girls party and from there the guys joined us and we had a bonfire and a lot of laughs. Close friends and family. Our second oldest went out and got me an extra b-day gift...GIANT Reese's Peanut Butter cups--each one is a half pound. I've been wondering all day how I am ever going to eat these things! But I know that I will. Our oldest got me a birthday cake and made me blow out 43 candles twice. No boyfriends for me..hehehe!!!

I woke this morning feeling more loved in one week than any person could in a lifetime.

Anyway....I have posted a photo of the trophy fish....thank you to all those who attended the party last night and to my family for a really great birthday!!!

Happy Thanksgiving Cyber World 2011

2011-11-24T19:41:00.002-06:00

Already Thanksgiving and the day is nearly over! I did not overeat this year though...now that is a first. Had I made the meal that might be a different story..heck, I would probably be eating leftovers right this second but no such luck this year.

We had a very quiet Turkey Day with P's family today...good food, nice chats, a few laughs and just an overall relaxing time. Then we moved on to my favorite nephews to end the day. My family is not quite as reserved...lots of loud boisterous laughter, silly antics and the most fun was the family photo of those of us that were there of all of us flipping the camera off. Yep, you read that right. In my family, this has become somewhat of a signature gesture--my father was good at doing that while sticking his tongue out whenever someone went to snap a photo....yeah, some things die hard. Perhaps a bit childish but keeping a part of our father alive on days like this gives us all a warm feeling. The best part was my mom joined in the fun. Her hands are a bit arthritic so I had to help her but she stuck her tongue out and was laughing the jolly laugh of a woman who loves to have fun. It was a very memorable 15 minutes for me....

So much to be thankful for, so many people in my life...my kids who keep me young, keep me laughing, frustrate me, but mostly love me beyond any love a person could imagine. My hubby ... oh my hubby. So much about him I could rave about...as usual. So I will choose just a couple...his love and support, his devotion, his smile, his laugh, and his sense of humor. Not a day goes by that I don't cherish these things in him....even when things are rough one look in his eyes and I can see beneath that frow-brow of his that mischievous side that reminds me that it is him that has made this life so worthwhile.

Extended family--looking around P's brother's today I was reminded that I have been a fixture in that family for 25 years--that they are in fact a part of me; have treated me like a daughter all these years--opened their hearts and arms to me in my darkest years...and welcomed me into their lives. My own family...oh those who have been constants..stood by my side when things have been at their worst as far as family goes, believed me, loved me, and kept me laughing through much of the painful times that have occurred. An my cute little mom...her and I have had quite a life together...fights, accusations, tears, a lot of laughs and it took a long time to find our center...but I do believe that we have found that. She is so very dear to me...her strength to endure things no woman should have to...to come out on the other side with a great sense of humor, the innocence of a woman who has worked her butt off to raise eight kids but the wisdom in the wrinkles around her eyes that speak a million words--she certainly is one hell of a woman. I once mentioned many years ago on this blog that I just couldn't find the exact card to describe my mom--those were tough days for her and I....I will now say that that is no longer the case.

Yeah...it's Thanksgiving..not a day to stuff myself or to treat as any other but a day that I always take a moment to look around me and see...see all that love that surrounds me and how lucky I am to have all that I do.

I hope that all our friends have had as good of a day as I have...they too are people who have grabbed a spot in my heart, in my thoughts on a day like today. Good friends are very hard to find...ones we can share with and be as honest as we should be...who don't judge or make us feel like we are less than we are...you know who I am speaking of my dear friends....

Another Thanksgiving Day been and gone but to me...all days should be days to be thankful for things we have. Happy Thanksgiving everyone..until next year!

Another trip been and gone...

2011-11-19T15:47:00.008-06:00

Hmmmm....ok, had another weekend vacation up at the North Shore last weekend thanks to our very dear friends M and F! That vacation was so needed and so much fun!!!! We spent most of it being absolutely lazy and boring...playing Jenga, or Farkle, and watching movies..sitting around. We did get out the first day we were up there so M could browse some shops and stopped at Iona's Beach and froze our butts off. M built a 'Jenga' tower out of rock which turned out pretty cool as you can see from the pics.

We were hoping for the November Gales but unfortunately we weren't blessed with that. On Saturday there was some decent waves but I do have to say, we were once again lucky with the weather we had. It's bitter sweet really...we want those humungous waves to crash to the shore but with that comes cold bitter winds. We had beautiful weather--sunny, a bit warmer for that area, and pleasant--a slight nip but man, for the middle of November who is complaining. I can't say there is really a reason to complain as far as weather goes up there--it goes one way or the other but either way there is something to enjoy!

F made us dinner on Saturday--this absolutely positively scrumptious scallop meal that I swear some day I am going to make for us! Damn that is SO good not to mention his garlic bread is out of this world. We were delinquents a lot, throwing responsibility to the side for much of the weekend--went to the pool and hot tub for a little while, danced and sang, and a rare treat, P brought his guitar up and more singing was done, drank too much, laughed more than I have in weeks, and just breathed for a change. It was definitely a really great time with some great friends.

Now P and I sit and look at the pictures and discuss how we tried so hard to get angel hair on the waves, or how this face is funny or that face is funny. I do love taking pics. I am fortunate enough to have acquired a 'new' used digital 35 mm recently so we snapped photos to our hearts content. I think all told there was about 350 pics.

Oh gosh I forgot about the beaver....the day we were out and about there was a beaver casually eating the bark off a few branches below the bridge we stood on. The four of us stood and watched that thing for a very long time...quite boring yet intriguing in some strange way. After all, it just stood there and gnawed and gnawed as we watched. What is it about seeing critters in the wild that mesmerizes people? Anyway, there was ice on the water there so we got to experience something pretty cool....the beaver FINALLY finished its bark and had to move on. I love the tails on those things and so badly wanted to get a picture of it but that beaver was being very stubborn .... I thought maybe I could get a pic of it as it jumped off the rock it stood on but waaaah, it didn't happen.

We stood there and watched the air bubbles rise from beneath the surface of that ice trying to follow it as it swam. And then it came closer to the surface and 'pop'...it's head broke through the ice next to another branch. I snapped that pic you see here and laughed because it was a bit comical. Then it was gone and again we followed the air bubbles...the other photo is of it swimming under the water into the tunnel...Did I mention the water clarity up there was incredible? Yeah...the picture gives you a good idea actually.

Anyway....enjoy the pics ... we're home again and it is currently snowing out! How depressing! P and I almost dared the weather yesterday for one last hurrah on the golf course but unfortunately other things came up that took precedence. Damn...it's time to hibernate again!
Have a great night all!

Another twist on logic of people

2011-10-23T17:14:00.002-05:00

I found this story last week and it's bothered me ever since. This is a world of being connected pretty much all the time is it not? A man, prone to concussions, gets hurt on the football field and is fined $10,000 because he had the audacity to call his wife from the sidelines during a game to simply let her know that he was going to be ok. And he didn't even use his own phone, he borrowed one from a trainer or something...

Is it wrong to call your loved ones so they aren't sitting at home worrying?

I get that football players should be focused on their games but if it were my husband out there getting beat to a pulp and he has a high incidence of concussions you can bet that I would want to know if he were ok. And where was the foul in this man loving his wife so much that he thinks to give her a courtesy call like that? I commend him for this while the NFL punishes him. Another twisted story of logic if you ask me.

Who knows, maybe him and his wife have been discussing him quitting the game because of these very dangerous injuries...maybe he has kids and worries about being around for them....maybe it might just scare him enough to reach out to the woman in his life for some comfort and peace of mind....seriously...it was a short phone call...where is the crime?

I get that using a cellphone to make some phone call to gloat about a sweet play just to upset the other team is unwarranted but this?

Felony for one and sympathy for the drunks? Ummm, you decide

2011-10-14T18:34:00.003-05:00

Small update to this story: Found this link today and am so very happy to hear this man is seeking self defense and that many, many people of society believe he was in the right........I left a comment at the story and at the end I mentioned this: If it were a woman behind that counter who did the same exact thing as this man you can damn well better believe she would never be charged with anything but instead use that self-defense plea and the world would sympathize! Just irritates me......

Ok, granted the guy should have stopped beating these women with the metal bar--most definitely-- but was he not practicing self defense to some extent? Did these woman physically attack him first because he was doing his job asking about some suspicious money they handed him? Maybe to some degree he felt threatened...who knows when someone is going to pull a weapon...not to mention drunk people to boot.

And the best part is how the reporter is so nonchalant about what these women are doing and then suddenly disgustingly describes what this guy did as gruesome.

And just an FYI, I don't condone what this guy did but at the same time...there is some level of wrong in how lopsided this story is.

Happy Anniversary P

2011-10-01T12:50:00.003-05:00

I would spend the next couple hours gushing and writing endlessly about the man I love but I have a date to go fishing with him and our son.
'
Today is our 23rd Anniversary....23 years of kids, laughs, tears, hugs and kisses, changing careers, hand holding, angry stares, tears of rage, dumb antics, finding ways to spend as much time as we can together, outings with the kids, vacations for just the two of us, family vacations full of memories, watching kids grow and turn into young adults, the birth of our first grandchild and the death of one of our parents....heartache, triumph, shock and awe, learning and lessons....just so much....

Our walls have collages of photos of our family all over the house.....when we play darts on the weekends we never hesitate to stop mid game more than once to look at these same photos and remember a moment that we didn't speak of the week before....the life we have together lives in those photos....we stand next to each other my head on his shoulder and have our own thoughts running through our heads as we stare...

Our life is precious, our love is strong and stubborn, our kids are awesome, our grandbaby is amazing, all our dumb animals that drive us crazier than the kids at times......all the problems we face we face together and help each other make sense or to deal...

It is time I quit this...I have a date...to go fishing...if I am not ready when P gets back he is going to give me lots of grief.

I love you P and look so very forward to creating new memories with you every day for the rest of my life.....thank you for the wonderful life you have given to me...Happy Anniversary!!!!!

The lad can certainly fish!

2011-09-29T08:39:00.010-05:00

We've been unable to do much fishing the last couple months because both our motors are on the fritz. However, that does not stop our son from reeling in the big-'uns! That boy is an amazing fisherman and continues to oooo and aww us by the day.

He has discovered the St. Croix River. He goes fishing as much as he can if that means only an hours worth he is on that bike peddling his way to his secret spot...not so secret considering there are many others down there he hangs out with who give him tips, let him reel in the fish, show him where he should try...but the boy doesn't need their help. He has pulled so many fish out of that river in the last month...northern, small mouth bass, suckers, carp, sturgeon, and his favorite, muskie.

He has found his heaven and P and I could not be more happy about that. The child is riding his bike, enjoying the outdoors, away from the computer and video games, climbing around on rocks and getting a very big appreciation for his surroundings. Of course there's danger involved and I worry all the time but I have to say I just love that he has found something he loves to do and so close to home. And he has a friend who fishes with him nearly as much. Those two are going to have some really great memories together considering the fish stories they are collecting....and they add new ones everyday they go..for instance:

Last Sunday, P and I were dealing with another family issue. I got a text from our boy--thinking he was checking in or something only to discover it was a photo. Ohoh, that could only mean one thing....he has caught something substantial since that is the only time he uses his minutes on his phone to let us know he caught something large.

I opened up this photo and stared in absolute awww at what I saw. A HUGE sturgeon only five inches shorter than our boy....I had to wait for hours for the kid to tell me how big this fish was but it turned out to be 57-inches. P and I looked that up on the internet--the length to weight ratio and it turns out a sturgeon that size is roughly 50-lbs. Some say it's a pound per inch, our boy said it was a female and they are bigger than the males....his buddy caught another that was between 45-55 inches that same day.

They found these guys who fish exclusively for sturgeon. They've been fishing down there for the last 20-years. These guys would get a fish on, set the hook and allow the boys to fight the good fight and from what our boy said, it was a hell of a fight. He said his arms were numb and very tired.

P has written up a press release for our local paper for our county and we are awaiting word from the other boy's mom to include his photo and story in there as well. Apparently our local paper has published a lot of fish pictures.

I cannot tell you how good it makes me feel that despite the fact that our motors are broken ... our boy has found a way to do what he loves and he is doing a hell of a job!!! Hope you enjoyed the photos.......on a side note, this last picture is my favorite....for some reason it just melts my heart to see that look on his face, to see him struggling to hold this thing, and to know that that is our son.

Blind to their own fouls

2011-09-28T11:57:00.003-05:00

Last night I was reading through the news and found a story..yeah, it's a bit sad but nothing to cry over in my opinion. I left a couple comments at this story though because the twisting of the situation just irked me to that point.

A couple years ago in our state there was this big hoopla about a video camera being placed in a bear den. It just so happened to be a pregnant female in this den so as you could probably guess, a live birth was video taped and displayed all over the internet. I did try to go to the video but circuits were busy and I couldn't access it. Sure, what a really intriguing thing to see but not so much that I paid much attention after that.

There have been murmurs about this bear and her family here and there but I again, paid little attention until yesterday. Apparently the bear that was born 'Hope', on the YouTube video to 'Lily' was shot by accident by a hunter.

Hope was not collared or tagged so any hunter could and would have shot this black bear that dared to come to their feed stand.

The researcher in the article pretends to understand it was a mistake but laced throughout are jabs at the hunter....I cry foul!!!! The hunter was legally hunting, legally shot this bear, and even had the decency to call and tell them that he might have shot her by accident..yet according to the researcher, 'the hunter showed no remorse'!

OMG...remorse for WHAT??? Oh maybe the dedicated audience that indulged in exploiting this family of bears? I'm sorry, I enjoyed indulging in Knut's life because that bear was so adorable..but in the end I was disgusted with the fact that this exploitation continued up until the death of this poor bear who was caged its whole life and for what...so humans could get some enjoyment out of its antics and ooooo and awwww and brag about seeing Knut. Well bravo people, you got to watch a bear in captivity live and die...hope you're so proud!

Sorry.....I love animals..and I mean love them but I also respect them and understand that I am just as much of an invasion as they are to me.

It's a friggen' bear and as I said in one of my comments at the article, had that video camera never been placed in that particular den, people would not know the difference between smokey the bear or this bear! Hundreds of black bear get shot by hunters every year...how DARE these people disrespect the memory of all those other 'meaningless' bears hunted and killed!

Happy Birthday to my Favoritest Man!

2011-09-20T07:13:00.002-05:00

It used to be I would plan some type of dinner date with a movie or something extremely special for P's birthday. I would make sure he had the day off work so we could spend the day together. We'd go to his favorite restaurant, a good movie...as we get older that doesn't seem so important anymore.

Today is P's 42nd birthday..he is officially the same number as me. All our years together he has boasted about how I'm older than him or relished in the fact that he's married to an older woman...but on this day every year I swear I say the same thing...."HA!!! Now you're as old as me!" and his response is always..."for a few days."

We have no special plans. We went golfing yesterday and had a really nice relaxing time--the weather was beautiful and the company was beyond pleasant. All that hoopla that seemed so important all those years ago....it HAD to be on the day of the birthday or the day of the anniversary...now it's done when we can afford it or when we have the time--usually a few weeks out.

Regardless of the fact that at this point there are no special plans in the mix, I just want the love of my life to know how very special he really is to me. At one time in my life it seemed that lavishing him with gifts and attention was the way to let him know how I really felt about him, I am wiser now.

Today he is at work, probably will have some cake with his coworkers, he'll come home early and we will have dinner at home with our family...enjoy our life as it should be...and I will tell him how very much celebrating another year of his life with him could not make me happier. Those dinners out will never compare to just holding his hand and laying my head on his shoulder while we watch a movie.

Now, whether this will suffice for him...hmmmmm.....but knowing him for the last 26 years I think its safe to say the best birthday gift I could give him is a really nice, relaxing and quiet night at home.

Happy, Happy Birthday P! I love you more than life itself!

Remembering

2011-09-11T15:53:00.003-05:00

Ten years already...and my stomach is a mess and my eyes still sting on this day every year. All those images of yesterday embedded in our heads, that shock and fear lingers, and the destruction the attack of the terrorists on September 11, 2001 continues to haunt this country.

All over the television you can find tribute shows; facebook is littered with posts remembering; I would bet blogs are full of tributes and sadness.....one post I particularly appreciate that I found on Facebook says something along the lines of:

Ask me what I was doing 10 days ago and I couldn't tell you but ask me what I was doing ten years ago on this day and the memory is as clear as is all the emotion that washes over many if not all of us.

My post is late in the day but I do hope we can all find the time to remember all those fallen, all those families who lost, all those who worked for hours upon hours to find those still alive in the devastation, all those military men and women who are still sacrificing and fighting, and most importantly, take a moment and hug those you love and remind yourself that today is a gift...there is no telling what will happen tomorrow.

God Bless the U.S.A.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmm, what is going on!

2011-09-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, not even sure this will post. It seems blogger has been undergoing some massive updates which has been creating some issues. A few nights ago I tried to open the page and it automatically dumped to a different blogging website. Now, it dumps to an error page. The only way I could get to my sign in page was to quick hit the 'stop loading' button. Hmmmm.

Not much to post though, just wondering if others are having issues as well or if this is just something that P and I are experiencing. Hopefully Blogger will respond to my cry for help..if not, well....I don't know!

Ok, that is all for now.........ttyl

Vacation 2011 (Long post)

2011-08-22T18:47:00.006-05:00

Vacations come and go so quickly...that must be because they are so relaxing and enjoyable. Last week we took our annual week long vacation at the cabin we've been going to for four years now. The weather, once again, was absolutely stunning. Sunny and warm all week long with one night of rain but I have to say the fishing was WAY better! Oh and the friends were exceptional as well.

We met some people there three years ago from Chicago. They are the funnest, kindest, and most caring and giving people we have met in a long time. They have kids the same age as our kids, the adults are our age and we all enjoy the same things including golf, fishing, and cribbage. How does that happen? Next year we may actually try to find a new resort but they won't go unless we go and vice versa. They even want to find a way to get together around Christmas to spend some time together......that may just happen!

Our youngest daughter is really good friends with their daughter and a couple of the sons there. She cried when we left--that was difficult. Each year it seems to get harder and harder to say good bye to them for all of us. Our boy is good friends with a boy who lives in Ireland most of the year but they're able to email and chat on Facebook as well. P and I get along really well with all the adults and we all just have a great time together.

Anyway, the fishing....holy cow!!! The bass were insanely big...it was very rare to catch one under three pounds and when they were biting it was like a feeding frenzy! One morning I caught five huge fish...all in the 4-5 lb. range..Pat caught a few smaller ones. That morning was phenomenal and one we won't soon forget. After that, the rest of the week was pretty much full of bass! Both P's arm and my arm are a bit sore from all the fights--it was seriously a trip to remember. The pic of P is one he said, "ok, its time for this" and he asked if I was ready to snap the pic...this is what he did. That was the day of big fish for us obviou

Our friends even learned how to bass fish--that upset our son quite a bit since they were his northern companions. The first year they came up they brought home over 40 northerns. This year, they caught a good amount of bass and northern for some meals and seemed very happy with their week as well. Our boy caught his usual 5 lb. northern and then a 7 lb. northern and a few smaller ones. He refuses to bass fish with us but it seems that when he is he catches some of thee largest fish. The photo below is a five lb bass I caught; I saw the mouth on this thing and wondered if my fist could fit inside of it...from the looks of it it did. Soon after I pulled my hand out the fish flopped a bit and spit out a sunny that was in the process of being digested---it was disgusting to say the least.

Of course when we got home the next day the child had to go to his secret spot down by the river to fish some more. We got a couple texts from him a couple hours later..one a picture the other one said, "I just caught a 15lb. 40-inch musky!" I looked at the photo and sure enough, the kid is holding this fish that is nearly as long as him and the best part is it was a musky!!! His dream fish and the one that he has only watched videos of others catching. I nearly cried with joy for that child!

Before our trip we were reeling from all the things that kept happening to us or our things---broken water pipes, broken this, broken that---two nights before we were going to leave for our trip we had another thing break on us....not a good one either. P and I said if things continued to happen we were going to cancel our vacation because for some reason it seemed we were not supposed to go this year--our boat motors both broke and well...the other thing:

My truck that hauls the boat.

Umm, yeah, Thursday night we decided to get some air in the front tire because P was going to take that to work while I ran all over with the car--gas is cheaper that way. So, after P got the air, he hit a bump in the road on the way home and all the sudden there was this awful clunking noise. P asked if that was us and I said I thought it was so we pulled over. We couldn't see anything--it was dark not to mention finding anything like that is not easy since it wasn't completely broken.

So, yeah, we decided that on Friday I would follow P to the garage, we'd drop off the truck, I'd take P to work, then I would run all over the cities and get the errands done and hopefully be done by 1 so I could pick him up. Great....that all went great until we got the call that our truck was basically undriveable for this vacation and needed to be repaired. The leaf spring busted...

Ok, well, we then decided that we would call the guy who has been so good to us about trading this car for that car, etc to see if he had something. He did..another Durango...and it was in much better shape than our other one although, we soon learned that was not to be the case. Happy with our decision to trade in the black beast for something nearly as comparable I drove it home and it seemed solid..except for some reason I swore it was pulling to the right a bit.

Well, I got home safe and sound and we had to run to the fishing store to get some last minute baits and line before we started packing up for our trip the next morning. We had to run up the hill to do another errand and on our way back down we hit the stop light--P stopped and all the sudden the drivers side front wheel started smoking. People were pointing at the 'new' truck while we sat in traffic praying that the motor wasn't on fire or something.

Good grief will it ever end????? So P was finally able to turn off the main road and drove it up closer to home before he got out to see.....there was no fire but a ton of smoke was pouring out. P immediately called the guy and told him what was going on and was informed that the caliper may have frozen shut rubbing against the tire...we needed to get it in the following morning to have it looked at. Honestly, P and I were so close to saying just forget the vacation by this time....

Our night was ruined, we ran our errand, came home and neither of us even felt like packing because we had NO idea what this would mean.

Morning comes, we bring the truck back and wait. And wait, and wait, and wait for nearly three hours. During this time the garage door on the garage broke--it was stuck shut so we couldnt' get the truck in there until P and the guy figured out a way to get it to open. The other guy shows up to tear the truck apart and discovered that the front brakes were fubar! We needed to replace the brakes or drive a truck twice the size and twice the gas hog....after some phone calls and some considering the owner of the shop decided he would pick up the tab for the brakes since we had only driven this vehicle for under 30 minutes before this happened.....as I said before, he has been great to us.

So yeah, we ran two hours over the time we wanted to leave to head to the cabin but in all honesty that is a small price to pay for what could have been. Our trip was great although there was one other horrible thing that occurred the second to the last day that nearly made me break down in tears....I got my hook caught in a tree after a fish dragged me in there..P being the wonderful guy drove the boat back into this tree and I told him he could just cut the line and I would re-tie..no big deal. But he could see my worm and was determined to get it. Well, that determination cost him his most cherished fishing pole--the boat was being pulled deeper and deeper into this tree and P forgot about his pole because he was so determined to salvage my bait....all the sudden this was this sound like a twig snapping and P miserably said, "Oh no! Oh God no!".......it was heartbreaking! He was devastated and sat quiet for nearly a half hour before he picked up his pole to look at it.....but thankfully he is able to replace it for cheaper than what we purchased it for....

I think our luck is going to continue to challenge us for a bit. P and I decided to do one last golfing trip before we trudge back to our routine tomorrow...during our game, my phone rings. It was our son. I picked it up and he was upset...his bike had gotten stolen from his fishing spot by two kids. I never heard such anger in that very patient boys voice--his friend tried to chase them down but they were long gone. B wanted to know if he should call the cops...oh yes, hang up with me now and call them immediately.

Long story short, my golf game improved because of the punks out there that steal things and how I wanted to kick their asses. About an hour later P's phone rang--it was the cops--he found B's bike...hallelujah!

So despite all this crap that continues to occur, the great golf game I had, all the fish we caught, the beautiful weather we had, the visits from our older kids over our vacation, our great friends and all the fun we had, we both work now,.....all of these positives far outweigh the negative. The best I can say it bring it on cuz no matter how horrible things might get or might be....our family is safe and healthy..we are able to laugh and love and enjoy those around us and we have each other to hug and comfort when things get hard! Spooner 2011 will long be remembered as a challenging yet great year to be us!

Ode to a magical course Pt. 2

2011-08-09T21:38:00.003-05:00

Yesterday...once again, we were checking the weather every hour for at least three days before our tee time. I have to say, my trust in the weathermen has been slowly dwindling so even seeing the report of sunny and beautiful I had my doubts.

We arrived for our 8:40a.m. t-time and it was looking like a beautiful day ahead and it couldn't have been more perfect. We got our rainchecks all figured out which turned out to be a big mess so the guy just said, 'Ya know what, just go play'...That was the start of our day.

I personally could not wait to see the rest of this course....it promised to be one of the most beautiful places I've been since some of those trips with my folks and to France....and I wasn't wrong about that thought.

The first five holes were some we'd already seen and I was struggling..it is a tough course although I was spending way more time on the fairway than I normally do....hmm, that's interesting. The guys were playing good as usual..struggling here and there with shots way left or not long enough...I really was so enthralled with the beauty that my game was of very little interest to me...

As the day wore on that relaxation set in more and more....suddenly I realized I was shooting way better than I ever had before and more consistant with only a few duffers--those were mostly due to me looking up because my other shots were surprising me with distance and consistency so I just HAD to see how far the next one would go....then I would forget to keep my eye on the ball and completely fudge my shot. But I didn't even care...by the time we got to the back nine I was so intrigued and awed by this course that I didn't have a care in the world.....it is the magical course.

P and T were constantly praising my shots, T was clapping with each good shot, and I was utterly perplexed that I was playing so well. And it wasn't only a shot here or there....I wiped nine strokes off my back nine if that tells you anything. I even parred a hole on the front nine...P laughed because I jumped up and down and was so excited. That was my second par in my very short golf career--honestly, that is a great feeling for me...now if only I could birdie! Arar..

This course though? After we finished playing, P and I raved about this thing for the rest of the day and even today we've been discussing how much fun we had at this place. We thought T had the same feeling but weren't able to discuss it with him since he drove separate. But P did get a chance to talk to him tonight and as we suspected T had many of the same things to say as we did....not one of us can wait to play it again and do hope to play and see it in the fall when the colors are at their brightest.....

The course? St. Croix National.....A course that looks terribly intimidating and difficult but its bark is much worse than its bite.......one must really go there to experience the adventure that we had....it was worth every drop of rain we endured that very first day we visited.

Ode to a magical course Pt. 1

2011-08-09T20:37:00.004-05:00

Ok, so there is something I've neglected to post about over the last few weeks. Golf! P and I have been doing PLENTY of it...I'm pretty much addicted, P has years of the game under his belt and is overjoyed that I have found a love for the game. We have golfed quite a few courses this year...it seems those easier ones are the most challenging for me. Perhaps that's because the first course I ever golfed on was one full of hills and challenging greens and it set some standards for the kind of game I enjoy.

We've been golfing with a long time friend of ours .. not too often for myself but enough. At first I was terribly nervous about it..being a complete amateur and all but by now I've learned that there is nothing to be nervous about. Him and P have made me feel very comfortable with my duffers, my 10-putt holes, my 10 drives that get me only 50-feet....they have both been very patient and full of tips and advice that I completely soak up! And when I hit a good shot? Wow, I feel like I'm on a mini-PGA tour or something--the praise and compliments are many.

So last Monday, the three of us decided we were going to attempt to play this course that looked absolutely breathtaking in the photos. I found it over a month ago purely by accident while searching for a different course. Oh, the write up of it seemed like one of those courses well beyond my meager experience....but I'm of the mind that I could care less--the bigger the challenge the more I'm up to trying it.

So anyway last week...we checked the weather for days ahead of our tee-time and each time it seemed to look better and better. By Monday it looked like we were going to have a great day with some sun and possible chance of t-storms. Yeehaw!

We went and paid and P and I were determined to walk the course despite the fact that the manager nearly demanded that we get a cart. Hardly anyone walks this course....no matter to us, we were going to walk it. We were off....we were gonna show him.

Well, the first hole was no where in sight--all we could see was a practice green and arrows to hole one and hole ten...both directions are pretty steep inclines...ahh, that's nothing. We finally got to the top and were greeted with this massive downhill view of the first hole and a flag on the green that looked like a toy flag kids get with their little garages. Yeah, it was far away and the veiw of where exactly the ball might end up if it was hit straight was missing--on either side was another fairway, sand traps, and tops of trees....omg it was beautiful. Yeah, I was starting to question the ability to walk this course by this time.

I would never have imagined in my wildest dreams a course like this...and this was just the first hole. I actually think we spent some time up there trying to decide how exactly to tackle this hole--well, the boys were, I was just soaking up all the scenery.

Above us the skies were rumbling, lightening was appearing, and I was trying to pay attention to the weather but this course--the boys were navigating the hole, discussing things as the skies spit out a streak of lightning that hit a tower in the distance...I threw my club to the ground....good grief. Soon after that P teed off and shot left--we had no idea where that ball ended up but shortly after his tee shot the clubhouse blew the horn for lightning and we had to go inside. We sat, and sat, and sat.....+

The three of us sat there for two hours..this storm was going no where fast--it kind of just hovered over this area for hours. After our patience wore thin and it seemed like the worst was over we decided to go out again...only this time P and I got a cart. Yeah, we caved because my pull cart was injured when T accidently backed up and hit it....no big deal, I think that was a blessing in disguise.

We were able to golf two holes before the sky started to rear its ugly groans and flash its angry daggers...but we continued on. Each of us terrified as we stood at the tee box thinking we were the perfect lightning rod. By hole 5 the rain started or should I say the buckets tipped and we were struggling to get our balls in the hole so we could get in our carts and under the umbrellas to wait out this round....ah, yeah, that lasted all of 2 minutes before we decided to go get a rain check.

That was thee longest ride back to the clubhouse....and it was downpouring....the hills are extremely steep with only wood rails to protect you. As we raced as fast as one can go in a golf cart, we all longingly eyed each passing hole. P and I were saying holy shit look at this one, or omg this looks impossible....rolling hills and trees everywhere....even in the heaviest of rain the sheer beauty of this course is hard to hide.

As we neared the clubhouse I began laughing my ass off...I told P that this day was going to go down in history. P, T, and I will be old and crippled sipping our coffee reminiscing about the good old days and this day will be one of those very memorable ones.....I cannot remember the last time I was out in a rainstorm like that and how much fun it was despite the irritation of not being able to golf.

Yeah, we got rainchecks as we all trailed puddles of water into the clubhouse. It was like we all had gotten in the shower fully clothed..wet rats. We recieved our rainchecks and left there very disappointed and frustrated.

It was decided that we would try to go the following Monday--or yesterday. And we did....

In this life it's the simpler things

2011-08-08T20:13:00.004-05:00

Oh my, it's been awhile. I'm currently on a three week mental break from school and loving the freedom of no homework and no laptop in front of me. So much so that I have barely even been on my Facebook page which is pretty amazing.

It's been an interesting few weeks for us. A water line sprung a leak a few weeks ago which caused us immense amounts of stress and some potentially quick and tough decisions...a week later our water heater went out due to the heat and humidity..before that, the power windows on one side of our car just stopped working...ummmm, the outside glass panel of our deck door shattered because of the heat and humidity, our boat motor is just about dead right before our vacation and pretty much unfixable, ahhh, I know there's more but I just can't keep track. This all within the last month has left us VERY ready for our upcoming annual family vacation!

I started an internship at a school district a couple weeks ago....and I absolutely LOVE it! I worried for awhile that I wasn't making the right choice with my schooling but the first day I worked I knew right away that my decision was rock solid. The woman I'm working with has me running like a chicken with its head cut off and will have me busy for the next couple weeks or so...the position is paid and indefinite which is HUGE for an internship! I couldn't be more overjoyed with this nor can P. In fact, it's at his place of employment in the IT department so we get to ride to work together every day, have lunch together, and come home together. Yeah, I know...roll the eyes. But lucky for him and I it is an added bonus.

Sadly, a friend of ours lost her 40-year old husband last Wednesday to esophageal cancer. The cancer was discovered just last October....we attended the wake yesterday and it was difficult. They have two boys--one a year older than our son and the other a year younger. P and I stood and watched the video yesterday tearing up and just shaking our heads--this just shouldn't happen to people our age...but it does all the time right? His wife is a wonderful person--I worked with her for three or four years doing daycare. Over those years we had a lot of fun together and shared a lot of heartache too. It is really difficult to see her...she's showing so much strength and has throughout all of this. Too young...just ugh.

Anyway, now I sit here appreciating even those dumb malfunctions of our water pipe and water heater..they are just material things and are replaceable. Life is not, my husband and children are not....those friends who have impacted me in deep ways are not, those few siblings I adore are not....my grandson is not...to awake each morning is a gift, to hold those who love you and those you love even for a brief moment is a gift....while it's sad that two lives we've been acquainted with have been lost at young ages, their loss has left behind many who are reminded what really matters.

Happy Birthday C

2011-07-20T08:39:00.003-05:00

Gawd is this heat awful! P, myself, and our friend T went out golfing on Monday....I have to admit, I didn't think I was going to be able to go another nine holes after that first nine but we got to sit for about a half hour in the club house to cool off and get rehydrated. P and I dunked our shirts in ice cold water, I got my towel wet, I had my water jug filled with lots of ice and water and off we went. Thankfully, there weren't many other fools out that day golfing like us so we pretty much had the course to ourselves and were able to take it slow and rest in the shade many times. The second nine wasn't nearly as bad but by the last hole, we were all pretty much drained and ready to seek some cool and food.

Yesterday was our youngest daughters Sweet Sixteen! Man where does the time go. I remember when she was first born; a ton of hair, pudgy cheeks, and by six months had the mentality that what she wanted she was gonna get! That hasn't changed much!

She is my only girlie girl. Afraid of bugs, afraid to be alone, her clothes have to match and look just perfect, her hair has to be just right.....that's my fault. When she was little I swore I was going to have my little girl. Our older two of course are girls but more rough around the edges and more like me...laid back and don't care how we look on most days. But this child? I had to put her hair up all the time--Pebbles ponies, pig tails..her clothes had to be girlie--dresses, matching, cherries on many of them, clean, mini skirts..the works. Yes, I created this child and P didnt' seem to mind how damn cute she looked when her long flowing curls draped down her back with little barretts holding it from her face. She was my littlest girl.

She spent the day with her boyfriend of a year. I made her her favorite food--tacos--and even hand made her cake which is comical to say the least. Her boyfriend spoiled her rotten buying her all sorts of clothes and even a prom dress for next year which is gorgeous and it was under $20!

Today she still sleeps after her big day....she's excited because she can officially work more hours now and make more money so she can buy all those things she wants.....oh the days of being excited to work just to have spending money!

Life just keeps rolling along. Many bumps and wicked twists in the road. The kids continue to age and grow into beautiful human beings. All the years of hell are more worth it as they get older--to see them grow up, succeed, achieve goals, and be proud of themselves just makes it so worth it!

Happy Birthday to our baby girl......she is one hell of a kid and turning into one amazing woman!!! We couldn't be more proud to call you our daughter!

Graduation complete for this degree

2011-06-27T12:59:00.003-05:00

It is official...I have earned my Associates as of Sunday! My final grade posted after waiting on pins and needles all week--I half assed my final because I was just mentally spent and wanted a week off and in the end, my GPA still sits at a 3.98....it sure is a good feeling to look at my grade report and see 17 'As' and one 'A-'; it reminds me that I am in fact working my butt off despite those feelings of guilt of not working.

This past Saturday P and the kids threw me a really great graduation party! It was so much fun and so many people showed up to pat me on the back -- I was a bit overwhelmed at times because I was being pulled in all directions to talk to this person and that person when I was seeking out another.

The day started out with a really special surprise that P and the kids had been picking on me about for weeks....trying to egg me on to get me to beg for hints....my friend from Connecticut showed up early and spent an hour or two here visiting before the actual party started. I hadn't seen her in two years and we talk very rarely. She's been my friend for 21 years ... my family laughed at me because I saw her and started skipping down the side walk to her...gawd that just swelled my heart to see her walking in the driveway with her two kids! What a great way to start the party.

People started to trickle in about 3 and that steady trickle lasted until about 10 or 11--it could have been later too but I don't know. I never once looked at the time until about 2:30 in the morning after most everyone was gone and we were sitting around the fire with my niece and sister (sunshine). I think we finally went to bed at about 3:30 in the morning....

Our oldest two daughters did an amazing job with everything! They made all the food, decorated, our oldest hand-made and decorated my cake with a Mickey Mouse in a graduation cap....P cleaned up the yard and helped clean up the house, cut all the wood, our younger two helped me clean up around the house and decorated and fought...it reminds me of why I adore my family so damn much!

I had a whole week off of school and all week I longed to sit around and do nothing but relax...that didn't happen. I was busy and exhausted at the end of every day from running around and cleaning but in the end..it was the only way I can imagine to spend my vacation...in anticipation of a party full of friends and family.

I saw people I hadn't seen or talked to much in years, I was pulled this way and that way all night, was barely able to even smile at my hubby and kids because people were keeping me so busy....that made me sad...I missed them and wanted to thank them all for thinking so much of me and for recognizing my accomplishment! It was a really special and memorable night....one I won't soon forget and each time I think about it my heart just nearly explodes for love for my hubby and kids and all that they do for me!

To all my friends who showed up...thank you! While I wasn't able to talk to all of you as I would have liked to....I know you were there for me and I appreciate all the moments we had whether it was five minutes or 25 minutes.....your presence there was not lost! Being the guest of honor is not something I'm used to doing and I can't say I really expected to be so busy chatting with everyone....it was a great, great night and one I won't soon forget!

Happy Father's Day P!

2011-06-19T11:00:00.003-05:00

Today we are going to our daughter's house for a BBQ and P and the kids will be playing their once traditional round(s) of hackey sack. We used to head to the park every Father's Day -- I would BBQ while P spent the day with his kids messing around. Once our kids grew up, with the stress of many things in the last few years and busy schedules, our tradition kind of lost it's momentum! Not this year though....we're all making it up to him threefold--at least I hope.

Last night him and I got all dressed up and went out for a very nice relaxing dinner, walked around by the river afterwards, came home and well...both of us were so exhausted that we ended up falling asleep to a movie. But he thanked me over and over for a very nice night out--it was supposed to be a surprise but of course the guy just cannot stand surprises and worked out the puzzle....I was sad.

It feels good to be getting our family together for the day and doing something that we all used to really enjoy together. It's been a long time and a lot of stress over many things--especially over the last nine months. It's been eating us all up. But not today--today is his day and a day for the kids to enjoy him and appreciate him.

Here's a tribute to my hubby, the father of my children, the love of my life! I didn't know then what I know today--how deeply you would impact me--how deeply I would fall in love with you. Our children are so lucky to have you, a man who would do anything for them, who teaches them and loves them more than they know! You are one hell of a man P--both a father and a husband! Happy Father's Day to you--you will never know the depths of my love for you.

And to my father who I cannot call or see on his special day--only think about and write about with no real satisfaction that he's getting my message. But I will continue to write to him and think of him and remember on this day that I too was blessed with a very special father. A man who loved deeply and who worked hard for his family. A man who found the time to teach and crack jokes with me--a man who's laugh still rings in my ears today......Happy Father's Day Dad! I love you with all that I am!

What a great weekend!

2011-06-06T18:58:00.003-05:00

I've been informed that I haven't posted on here since Mother's Day. Yeah, it's true but I have good excuses! A lot has been going on the last few months. School of course, work, doctors, fishing, soccer, golfing, graduation. I've written things and deleted them only because they're so boring! But because a friend of ours actually reads my blatherings I thought for him I would put up a post! =D

Soccer season is well under way but honestly it's been pretty bleak. The boys are not playing very well this year and have yet to win a single game. It's a bit sad but I expected it this year. They moved up a level, are playing on bigger fields, there's more players on the field, and they're using a bigger ball. Sadly you would think that the net is bigger that they might be able to squeak in a goal but that is not the case this year. It's been a rough year for them.

School has been kicking me in the ass these last 7 weeks causing me endless amounts of stress and frustration. I graduated this past weekend for my Associates although it's not 100% official until I'm finished with these two classes on the 11th.

I do have to talk a bit about this past weekend. P and the kids made me feel like a queen this weekend. My graduation was on Saturday. P took a whole day off work on Friday to spend it with just me, took me golfing, took me out to eat, bought me new golf shoes, and was ready to take me where ever I might have wanted to go. On Saturday he made sure the kids all dressed up real nice and were available to come watch their mom walk in a cap and gown to get my 'scroll'. They yelled when I walked across the stage and I just beamed at them....I didn't want to go through the hoopla...not this time around. Afterall, I'm continuing on for my Bachelor's and will graduate again next year or so. Why do it twice?But its finally starting to sink it how much it meant to P, the kids, and everyone else around me. I'm not one who likes fanfare or to be doted on......

Well.....after the ceremony we got photos and then they all took me out to lunch. They gushed about how proud they were of me and were just incredible to me. I've never been made to feel so special before, not even on Mom's day even though breakfast in bed and getting to do whatever I want is pretty special...this was different though. I had to choose everything! I don't know, it was just a really great day. P and I went to our friends house later that night and I was immediately given a celebratory shot. We hung out there for the rest of the night, drank, played some darts, but I have to admit, I was exhausted by about 10:30. I told P this but he wanted to wait a few hours before he drove home.

Then on Sunday we power cleaned the house, P mowed most of the lawn and then we went out fishing until 10:00 last night and caught just a ton of bass. Our boy caught the most of course, P ended up catching the biggest, and I caught my share as well and the second biggest. Today P set up another tee time for him, myself, and our friend and we spent 5 1/2 hours on the course baking in the sun struggling on a course that is hilly and exhausting.

Now I sit here and think about this past weekend and kind of wish it wouldn't have to end. I had such a nice time all weekend, smiles everywhere....

The last few weeks have proven to be very challenging, very stressful, very irritating--things I won't discuss on my blog. Can't help but feel that we are constantly being tested for our strength as a couple, as a family....how much can a person or people take before they just can't do it anymore.....in this house I'm thinking we can take a hell of a lot and will continue to do so as the road continues to be paved.

I sat at the restaurant on Saturday listening to our kids laughing and joking, watching P trying to be so serious only to succomb to the laughter and joking. I once again realized that it is our kids and that man by my side who give me strength and courage...who keep me smiling even in the darkest of times, who step up to the plate if I can't go on....and that is how it is with each of us. We have each other's back, kick in the strength if one of us can't do it anymore, and take those dark moments and shine the light on it.

I have a very blessed life; a very blessed existence. All things I take for granted on many days but on those others the overwhelming feeling of love and gratitude is just sometimes too much to absorb...all I can say is Thank You P, D, J, C, and B for being one hell of a great family....

Mom's Day 2011

2011-05-08T21:28:00.005-05:00

To all the mom's out there who have cried tears of joy, tears of frustration, tears of sadness, tears of fear, or tears of madness....let it be said that no matter what those tears are for, I myself have found every last one of them to be worth it. I had a great Mom's Day today--my wonderful son made pancakes for breakfast, P invited me to go golfing, our two youngest cleaned the crap out of the house while we were gone, and our second oldest and I went out not only for Mom's Day but also it just so happened to be her 20th birthday today. So I treated her to lunch and she treated me to lunch--hehe..it was a good trade. I came home to a new towel for my golf bag and some really funny SpongeBob golf balls that I told P I wanted to get but thought I would get picked on for! LOL I was pretty happy with my gifts today. Our oldest daughter spent the day here on Friday with her little man and hubby sitting outside all day while the kiddies played. She chose to spend this day with her little boy and had one heck of a good time with him.

I just now finished up my homework for last week and have a day to spend with my hubby tomorrow. We were hoping for nicer weather tomorrow but no such luck...so we have to find something else to do other than golf...we think we have an idea of what we'll do...gosh I love having him home on Mondays...ohoh...we just watched the weather forecast and both of us raised our eyebrows for the report for tomorrow..hmmmmmm...could be going golfing maybe??

Oh...before I go, the three bears were back in our yard last evening. It was quite a treat for the kids who got to stand on our big deck and watch them laze around the yard eating the bird food they spilled all over. They broke my big bird feeder that's been here longer than we have and another one...then one climbed a tree and two of them played with our swings for a bit. P and I missed it though but we did get some photos from our daughter. It's pretty cool for the kids to get to see them only 20 yards away but at the same time, walking out that back door and looking 10 yards away only to see big black animals next to you...that's not something we're too comfortable with! So next time, after we watch them for a bit we're going to throw a pack or two of fire crackers in hopes that will scare them..I hate to resort to sending Reggie the Retriever out the door but .... ho hum.

Anyway.... I'm going to relax now that my homework it completed and handed in for the week. I really hope all the mom's out there had a really nice day today...I know I did and am just reminded yet again how very lucky I am to have such a wonderful husband and really great kids who love me to no end! Have a great rest of the night cyber world.....

Hehe, a new thing to do...

2011-05-02T20:37:00.002-05:00

As the world now knows OSAMA is dead! I won't lie and say that I wasn't a bit tickled to hear that information but it does bother me that people are 'dancing in the streets' about it. I understand why people who lost loved ones in 9/11 might be feeling some closure and might be celebratory about this but honestly....this doesn't mean the end of terrorists or future attacks--and most importantly is doesn't bring back the thousands of people who died. Certainly this man needed to go but I just don't feel, as Americans we should be rejoicing like those who did when we were attacked....this country is supposed to be better than that and shouldn't throw the shit in their faces. That's just me.. and isn't the saying--Karma is a bitch?

So P has taken me on a couple of adventures the last couple weeks. Last weekend he took me to the driving range again after about 6 years of saying we should go so we finally did. Many years ago he bought me a set of golf clubs for Mother's Day and we went to the driving range a couple times and I had a blast. I sucked but still had a great time! Ever since that time we have talked many times about how we would love to go back and maybe even go golfing someday. He ended up taking me to one store and grabbing me a golf glove and then he took me to a shoe store and we bought him and I some golf shoes. Me? Golf shoes? Oh, oh....he was getting serious now I think and was going to plan on taking me golfing sooner or later...

Guess what? I golfed my first nine holes last Monday and absolutely LOVED it! We had an 8:30 tee time and set out on what was one of the nicest days of the spring so far this year. I was disappointed that we had to be done because I was finally getting the hang of it and doing pretty decent for a first timer....no pars or anything but my shots were straight and averaging about 70-80 yards per...I know, that's laughable but still an accomplishment for me!

Over the weekend we decided to go to a golf store in the cities so P could get himself a new driver. We were planning on getting me a better set of clubs in a couple weeks but ended up looking at some anyway. After I tried out those clubs I was almost certain they were much shorter than my own that I had and my stance felt much more comfortable--I didn't want to say for sure though because I'm not a seasoned golfer.

So the clubs we were looking at? Oh my, I wanted them but knew we couldn't get them ....so I spoke out loud wondering if we could get them without the bag because I have my dad's golf bag and another decent bag...so P asked. Lo and behold the guy had a set of used Lady Hagan's--the kind we were originally planning to purchase for me in two weeks. It was a whole set--an older model but once we heard the price they were sold. $40 for a $199 set which we verified later at another store. We walked out of the store with a whole set of clubs for me, a nice new driver for P, two putters, and some other minor accessories for cheaper than a new set of clubs would have cost for me.

Both of us were in shock most of the way home, giddy with excitement and my curiosity was really piqued about the fact that these 'new' clubs seemed shorter than my other set....we got home and the first thing we did was measure them against my old ones and sure enough...the 'new' ones were shorter by about a 1/2 inch.

Today we both got to try out our new purchases on 18-holes of golf...I couldn't wait and neither could P. We were going with his buddy too who was just as anxious to get out there. P and I got there an hour early so we could practice our putting and chipping--yeah, it was only about 37 degrees out but just as worth is as sitting out in the boat on a day like this.

After today..P's game is going to improve a great deal and so is mine. P had a hard time adjusting to the new driver but once he did? Oh my.....I'll never beat him if he keeps it up! My score didn't reflect much improvement but I felt more confidence and believe it or not...comfort with the shorter clubs. The weather was cold and made for the feeling that we were die hards out there on the course. I guess you could say we were since we were the only ones crazy enough to be out there on a day like this but hey...we are Minnesotans aren't we?

So, while we impatiently await the fishing opener, we now have something else to keep us occupied. Both of us are sore and exhausted from the mini mountains that lace the course we went to but it's a good feeling to finally have something to do that's fun and involves getting out of the house! But the only problem is is we have yet to come up with something to do to pass the long winters in this state...ho hum!

Happy Easter 2011

2011-04-24T11:51:00.004-05:00

The house is awash in the aroma of prime rib, the kids' bellies are full of chocolate, the sun is shining and the day is absolutely stunning...what more could any of us ask for on this beautiful Easter Day!

I hope that all our friends and family have a really great Easter!

2nd trip to the Great Lake Superior

2011-04-04T16:20:00.004-05:00

So last year we went up to the North Shore around this time of year with some great friends and we had 70 degree, sunny, beautiful weather. We just returned from that same trip today and had the complete opposite. The weather wasn't horrid...in the 40's on Saturday, sunny, and the lake was calm but yesterday? Oh my!

We awoke to rain/snow, and wind. I'm not 100% sure what the temp was but it certainly wasn't 70...I would say maybe upper 20's to mid 30's but who cared! It was that wind that set the mood for the day. By 9:30am we all pretty much knew the lake was going to be spectacular and it was. We went out earlier in the day to check out the situation and P saw a wet clay and rock trail down to a cove area that was level with the smashing waves and said he was going later....I was of course all for it--him and I live for days like that on Lake Superior. And I must say it was so worth the slips and slides and wet foot I got.

I'm not really sure what time we took the trip down but what I do know is it was slippery, loud, and amazing!!! We--P, F, and I,--got down to the rocky ground below and were stopped in our tracks...the waves were right in front of us! Crashing into the rocks and the point to our right...they must have been 6-7 feet high and were rolling in fast and hard! The noise was deafening. Pictures were taken, and then we moved on...around a little corner into another cove where a flat rock juts out that we had been watching all morning from the window to gauge the intensity of the waves. It was that rock that provided the most amusement from where I stood...

P and F were standing on this rock while I stood back watching. The rock is quite a few feet higher than the water so the water was slamming into the side of it creating that spray only large waves can create. Some of the splashes were above their heads and at times they had to move quite quickly to escape a Superior shower of ice water! I stood there laughing and then I suddenly realized just how high those splashes were getting. The waves seemed to be quite a bit larger than when we first got there about 1/2 hour before. I looked over to the first cove we were in and saw how high the water was coming up the rocks....and then at the tiny narrow trail we took to get to the spot we were in....water was lapping up on the trail.

Yeah, I got nervous and just wanted to get back to where we came down the hill. Of course the guys said I was being silly and we would be fine...probably right but the element of caution in me won....F said we could find another way up but that way looked pretty steep and was very icy...if it were all that muddy clay I wouldn't have thought twice actually...it was the steepness but mostly the ice.....our choices to reach the ground that held the condo we were in were pretty limited .... hmmmm.

The thought of having to get wet wasn't really something I wanted to do considering the water temp and the air and the only option up from the spot we were at was ice....we could have made it up but it would have been interesting to say the least.....but I really didn't want to leave either! I could have stayed there all day long! And I did ultimately decide that if the guys thought they would find a way out of that spot and help me out then screw it, so I stood watching them for a bit longer and then maybe ten minutes later they came off the rock. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen on Lake Superior!

Obviously we made it out but getting around that little corner to the other cove was a race for me....the waves were coming fast and water was continuing to splash up on the trail so I panicked and tried to beat it...probably didn't need to...but I ended up getting my foot wet..not from the waves of course but from a dumb puddle of standing water..and then stepped on a sloped wet rock that I thought was just wet but there was a thin coat of ice on it and yeah, well, I slipped....that's what I get! But it was so damn worth it!

We went down later that evening one last time to get a look to see if the waves were bigger....and they seemed to be about 8 feet high and rolling in faster than before. The noise was insane and all I could think about was how powerful these small waves are...imagine that of a tsunami. That lake was angry last night....it was something I won't soon forget! I have a ton of pictures but of course they're on film so it will be awhile before I get them posted but I am excited to get them.

The rest of the weekend was filled with many laughs, strange conversations, and really, really, good food cooked by F. Can't remember when I ate so much in three days! We're hoping to make that trip again next year around the same time. So far the memories of good friends and great scenery have made this a trip I hope we can do a for a long time as a group! Hopefully I'll have pictures to post real soon....until then, we're home now and we must decompress and get back to reality. Could be a very stressful week ahead but I really hope not.....

Congratulations Mr. P

2011-03-22T15:11:00.005-05:00

My hubby started this job he has in December of 2008...a very big step not to mention a very scary change. In the last 2 1/2 years he has excelled and done some really great things for the district he works at. Frankly, I am not at all surprised by that either. It hasn't come without stress, and aggravation though; his desk is constantly overflowing, his emails coming in faster than he can keep up....meetings galore and the list goes on.

The people he works with are very supportive, very encouraging, and very wonderful on so many levels. P's ideas are welcome with open minds, he is given more credit than he likes to accept, if he wants credit for something and asks, it is granted for his future resume. When our family is going through some tough times, the people who work there come through not only for P but for his entire family with more love and support than we know what to do with. They ask how I am doing, how the kids are doing...they send P home with messages for me. It's a whole new realm of the working world.

Being his wife, seeing the challenges he faces everyday, I have my days of frustration with many aspects of this job. The guy works his ass off--he's efficient, thorough, and precise in all that he does and sometimes I feel that credit should be given more than not.

Well...guess what? I was invited to an awards banquet last week by him--my man received an award for a web portal he created this past summer and I could not be more proud of him. He didn't want to even go even with all my protests and asked boss lady to just grab it for him but she would not hear of it! Thank her for that and for her lecture she gave him about taking these moments and enjoying them. The guy deserved it 110%. We went and had a really great time! Congratulations aplenty and even some telling me how nice it was that I was there for moral support. I have to say it's certainly different to hear from people I don't know how nice it is that I was present...the whole aura of this job and the people in it is really welcoming.

P will be less than pleased with me for calling attention to his achievement but oh well honey.....Every once in awhile in this life we all achieve something we should be recognized for even though we would rather just bury it in the mountains of work we do or pretend it's just another day. I guess P is not fortunate enough to be married to a woman who would grant him that wish! =o) Sorry babe but you make me proud and I am so honored to be married to a man that works so hard for his family!

Congratulations P for all your hard work!!!!!

Life is about choices...I choose to find the finer things

2011-03-18T09:52:00.007-05:00

As I sit here listening to P and B discuss football plays and tackles while playing PS2 I sigh a bit and smile.....the sounds of their voices, the dogs lying around, the cats beating each other up, I cannot help but realize how lucky I am and how good of a life we have.

I read a story today about Japan and it literally made me cry. I don't often do that to a friggen' news story but this one in particular just struck a nerve in me. Perhaps it's because I've been studying tsunamis, earthquakes, and volcanoes in my Geology class the last few weeks so I'm paying more attention, perhaps it's because this is such a small island that is packed tightly together with people who are so very proud and strong, or just maybe it's because I'm human. No matter really....

Why did I cry? Because their lives are turned upside down while I sit in the comfort of my home, my family safe, with food in the fridge and clean air to breathe with no threat. Because all around it seems that people wallow in their own little pity parties, seeking sympathy, seeking to hurt others, seeking to bring others down, or seeking to do whatever the hell it is while there is real drama going on in this effed up world.

Life does suck sometimes....I've had my share of shitty moments but each time I pick myself back up and move on....There are people out there who really need some help and support, a roof over their heads...what right do I have to complain because I have homework? What right do I have to whine about anything really? Petty, petty, petty! All of it. It's all dust in the wind....each day I wake to the same homework and the same life...God thank you for that and each breath I breathe!

My tears have turned into anger with the selfishness that we all seem immune to. I'm no better than the next guy and take things for granted quite often. Outside of that 'self-pity bubble' there lies bigger problems, more serious drama as we all sit and ponder what horrible thing sucks in our life today. Bullshit.

People choose their feelings, people choose their state of mind, people choose to blame others or to make others responsible for emotions. What about the raw emotions of those in the midst of this tragic event....most of us, if given a choice, would choose to have the life we have as opposed to be in the middle of hell in Japan right? But is our life really so damn terrible that we have to gripe about it or wallow in our own tears of self pity?

The thing I'm trying to say here is that life sucks...I get that as most others probably do. But kick the damn pebble out of your way and move on and look around at just how much worse it could be. If you have a home you are fortunate, if you have a car you are fortunate, if you have a crappy job, you are fortunate, if you have a husband or wife your lucky to be and to have love, if you have children, you are lucky to experience some really great moments, if you have a single friend cherish them....Most of us are pretty damn lucky I think....lucky to just be.

One saying I have always liked is: "The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present." I don't know who said this but damn...it's the truth!

Sometimes the past is painful...I have one of those that haunts me every so often but I can choose to turn off the switch and enjoy what is right here in front of me....love that is so great that sometimes I cannot even breathe, kids that are so wonderful most days that I could just burst with pride, a roof that isn't exactly wonderful but it's home all the same, a truck with bald tires but it gets me where I need to go...and most importantly a life that I chose--the key word there being 'chose'.

Tragedy

2011-03-12T09:53:00.002-06:00

Our hearts go out to those in Japan!

What a horrible tragedy!

More thugs

2011-03-10T12:14:00.003-06:00

Those who support the unions and the teachers in Madison are a pretty questionable group. Hell, in any area really. It's frightening to realize that it's people such as the writer of this threat who 'support the union, the teachers and public workers'. I'm sorry but to think that the teachers of our children might actually associate with people like this is a bit bothersome.

Do you ever get the sense that our country is going to hell?

2011-03-10T11:04:00.006-06:00

What is wrong with people in this world??!! This is so awful I can't even tell ya!

Ok, so racism has been around for eons...I get that. But tell me this....when is it that individual people will be held accountable not based on their race but based on their stupidity? Black, white, hispanic...in the end we are all created the same except for skin tones and an underlying shameful whispering that surrounds this world...omg, they did it because this person was black or hispanic...I have people too...I have white people, I have Indian people....omg, there are so many crimes against the indians I demand I gather my 'group' and plot a war against the white folks. But why????? To me that just sounds ridiculous.

Granted, this crime is absolutely horrible and unforgivable. White, black, hispanic or whatever, I would want to go after those who hurt my child if it were her...only the fire in my eyes wouldn't be images of a skin color but of a number of men with arms, legs, bodies, and heads that hurt my child....but then I would be deemed racists because my emotional reaction would be to seek the worst punishment against this group of black men...why is it so automatic to scream racist when a crime is committed against another of a different color than yourself?

White people rape black people, black people rape hispanic people, hispanic people rape asian people..I don't have proof of all this but I wouldn't be surprised to also learn that whites rape whites too and black people rape black people and so on--as the world turns!! But do those types of rapes wage a racial war when it occurs? Do black people play the race card because a black person they know was raped by another black person?

Oh, and hey, the pc terminology is MIA on this post...does that mean I'm racist or does it simply mean that I was raised in a generation where these words were ok to say? If you think I'm being racist and disrespectful...so be it cuz it's people like those who create upheavals such as this! I'm wronging them because I won't bow down and soft peddle around an over-sensitivity created by God knows what! I'm white and Indian and could really care less what term others may have for me because in the end, I'm just as human as the next guy! And notice I didn't say 'woman'....

Honestly...this little girl was an innocent child sexually assaulted by not one male but EIGHTEEN....she is hispanic, they were black. What if they chose her because she was vulnerable and too young and weak to defend herself? What if they chose her because she was just there? And just what if this girl grew up and DIDN'T hate black people but understood that others just have issues and their own demons? What if she grew up preaching to the crowds about accepting everyone for who they are? What if she became a voice of reason? It will all depend on how this is handled...I couldn't blame her for holding grudges but it's what she does with that as she grows older that matters.....

It is the adults that control how the children view others....if those impressionable young children are around adults constantly degrading another because they look different the result will most likely be quite damaging. I have no time for racial issues because people make a choice in this life....either change things as best as one can and try to pave a new path for those we make an impression on...or follow in the same footsteps as those before us and keep building the wall. DUMB!

Race related or not these are all people right? I cannot figure out if those who committed this heinous act have brains or emotions of any kind yet. I don't care what color their skin, these acts were done by grown men as well as some minor boys....regardless of friggen' skin color they are all beings...weather or not they're human is another thought all together. Take race out of the equation and open up a can of whoop ass!

All I know is it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach! This poor little girl having to live with this for the rest of her life....I certainly hope all who acted in this are charged!

A new toy for me

2011-02-25T14:46:00.002-06:00

I sit here typing with my new computer that I was so lucky to get last weekend! Thanks P for my new toy! Although I think he wanted me to have it more than I did!

Our computer guru Boz advised me on the various things I should look for and slid in that Toshiba is a good brand. P and I were on our own to pick out the best one! After looking online for a couple weeks, I saw a lot of refurbished HP's, and the other brands didn't seem to offer near as much as the one I had my eye on not to mention if they had nearly the options they were quite a bit more spendy. So the one I had my eye on? A Toshiba Satellite L640/L650. Gosh I hope our guru approves!

I have to add this though...this is thee first computer we have ever had to purchase since we first got a computer all those years ago. It started with P's brother giving us his old ones but it's from there that is the thing I need to talk about.

Boz, our computer guru has not only fixed our computers all these years but he's also kept us amply supplied with the most up to date services. He's built most if not all the computers all these years, has fixed them whenever we've had issues--we were reprimanded when we took them to someone else, he's on call 24/7 if we need anything, thrown in extras for us, tweaked this or that and has done so as a really good friend to us. The most we have ever given him is many dinners but it never seems like its enough for everything that guy does for our family! But he insists it is...over the years it's been harder and harder to accept his generosity and damn I so wish we could win the lottery!

Well, this time I thought he was going to get it...I wanted to purchase a computer from him...a homemade, home-tweaked, with a lot of memory, without all the added crap the factories put on these things....and guess what? He took all his parts, old computers, everything to the recycle shop and got rid of it! I was really really sad about that because for once the guy was going to get paid...god only knows he doesn't eat nearly the food it would take to repay him for all his work...one day though

So I was left no other option then to go out and buy one which was fine but it's not Bozified oh, and it didn't come with explicit instructions about the various things I can do....but he's going to tweak it for me!!! He told me so! I just hope he doesn't scold us for this purchase! LOL

So, it's beautiful but very hard to get used to. I have a number pad on the key board, it's shiny, the screen is big but it's horizontally rectangular which is very hard to adapt to...I'm still making adjustments to the settings on it so I don't get headaches, it's got Win7, a real honest to god webcam, all sorts of other perks that I'm terrified to mess around with....oh, it's nice but my WPM have probably decreased quite a bit. The keyboard is the same but quite a bit different than what I'm used to...

Oh but I'm slowly getting the hang of it and love it...and it better last! I'm supposed to graduate in June--getting my Associates--the whole cap and gown ordeal at a pretty big venue in the cities. I begged, nearly cried with desperation, stomped my foot, got angry...but none of it phased Pat or the kids! They demand that I attend the ceremony, walk down that aisle, and accept my degree in person! P's argument is that he has sacrificed his time with me, supported me, the kids have been here and they all want a reward for that! LOL How could I say no to that? They've been so damn wonderful and patient these last few years and have made some great sacrifices....I cannot say no even though I fear I'll pass out from a panic attack or something! He wants to watch his wife; the kids want to watch their mom accept her degree and THEN they want to have a big party! Even my mom is excited to go...I told her about it and she got so excited so we ordered her a ticket too...

After that I am continuing forward towards my Bachelor's degree. But in the mean time I do hope I might be able to find an internship somewhere so I can get some experience...and it will be this computer that I will start that journey with...so

Happy Valentine's Day Mr. P!

2011-02-14T12:55:00.002-06:00

Today marks the 26th year that P and I have been an us! He asked me out on the 13th but because I'm superstitious I said NO WAY and told him he had to wait until the next day! Cliche? Well, yeah but it certainly wasn't planned.

Bumpy roads, smooth roads, curvy roads, hilly roads...it's all been part of what has made us who we are today and will continue. Our four kids have added some spice to that--little P's and L's running around reminding us of those days when we were young. A lot of lessons, a lot of love, a lot of stress, a lot of tears...all of these ingredients, if thrown together in one big bowl, create this beautiful life we have.

Each year the same things emerge from my mouth--how very lucky I am, how blessed I am, and how I wouldn't trade any of it for nothing!

So, since P is standing here hemmin' and hawing about my mush I will just say....Ha...if you think I'm lucky, putting up with your teases, your smarty-pants comments, your cranky moods, your long explanations of all those stories I love to hear over and over...P, your humor; well you better evaluate just how lucky you are to have someone stay with you all these years! But in the end...I wouldn't trade a moment of it! =o)

Just saying....love you P. Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Sharing a forward from a very dear friend of mine

2011-02-08T08:43:00.005-06:00

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that Person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support,

To aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

This person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.

They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy..

Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,

Things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
Foundation..

Your job is to accept the lesson,

Love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,

Whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

R & R and losta laughs!

2011-02-01T08:48:00.003-06:00

It was supposed to be a great weekend away...a time to forget the broken coffee pot, the broken dog leash, all the meetings, running over a palette on the way to work, and computer programs that weren't working at work. Oh it was just one of those weeks last week and we could not wait to get away for a night and let loose.

And let me tell ya--it was one hell of a great get away! Lots of laughs, great food and great company. We went to the Mall of America, ate at Bubba Gumps and deeeyam was that some good food, and went to the comedy show. Then we came back and sat in the hot tub and THEN we played cribbage. I have to say me and my partner kicked some major butt! Sorry M and P but we're just good like that! I can gloat now!

It's always hard when weekends like that have to end. My mood gets sullen and I just dread coming home..not to the kids but to a house I sit in ALL the time. Hey, that's what I'm doing now! And I knew I had to get home to write my 1000 word report which only made me more pouty! I hate that all good things must end! It's no fair.

Yeah, so we got home, unpacked and it was time to do my report so I could get it done within a few hours and enjoy the rest of my Sunday and maybe get a nap in since we got to bed a little late on Saturday! Well....ummm....yeah, I opened my computer and it wouldn't connect to the internet. So, like I do every time that happens I rebooted. Only it didn't do what it normally does every time. I got a blue screen with all sorts of writing and information about how it was protecting the information on my computer and wouldn't open. There was some defective software or hardware...etc...shit! I'd seen that screen before on our daughters and she ended up having to get a different computer.

This was at about 1:45. I tried to open in all three different safe modes, removed all the devices like the mouse and cd's and the internet server card and nothing. Time to call our computer guru.....he didn't sound optimistic but he did try....he needed to see the computer--I struggled with that because it was his day off but there wasn't any other day really that seemed workable. If I could get it fixed then at least I wouldn't have to take the main computer from the family and hog that for the mountains of school work I have....

So, I asked P if he wanted to go to B's place with me but he wasn't feeling the best and half asleep so I decided I would just go....by 3:10 I was in the car on my way back to the cities.

B tried everything he could but nothing. He is so patient and kind to our family and our computer needs! I couldn't ask for a better computer guru who's there whenever we need him! Thanks so very much B! It means more to us than you know! Now, after all his efforts and hearing him say each time---oh this isn't looking good, he determined the hard drive is fried.

All my research and links to all my homework for the last 7 weeks is gone. The shock didn't set in until I got home around 7:30--I called my instructor to ask for an extension on my report which he kindly gave me with no questions...tried to sit down at the big computer to do start my report but my body just went limp and the wind seemed like it was knocked out of me at the enormity of the problem I had. All my work is gone...I went into the bedroom, put on my pajamas, turned on the tube and curled up into a ball on the bed and cried myself to sleep.

So...after one hell of a much needed and great weekend it ended on a very bad note for me. I'm better today. I keep bringing to mind the laughter between F and M over those dumb chairs....good grief and it makes me smile. So even after the 'punch to the gut' reality the weekend still manages to remind me that there is reason to be happy!

I have a lot of work to do in a very uncomfortable chair but hey...I guess I could look at it this way. I'll just learn even more!

Now it's time to stop blogging and time to get working! Thanks to you M and F for a really great weekend! We needed that after the week we had. I just wish my computer could have died on me BEFORE we left!!!!! Happy Birthday again to my friend!

Short and Sweet!!!

2011-01-27T14:58:00.003-06:00

I've decided to take a much needed mental break from biology to put up this post. Yeah..I've been buried in hypothermal vent research for the past two days and writing a report. Thinking my brain could use the rest. And besides, in just a few short minutes I get to head up to my hubby's work and have dinner with him! =)

Our son just got back from a three-day field trip! He went up to Wolf Ridge--an absolutely beautiful place--but I have wondered since our oldest took that trip 10 years ago WHY they would choose to go in the dead of winter???!!! P and I decided because it was probably the cheapest time to go. Either way though it's a great trip and I'm so glad all four of our kids got to go.

Not much going on around here though...just struggling to get through winter into the next fishing season. And let me tell ya, that gets harder everyday!!! But on the bright side at least it's staying lighter out each day...sun set is now at 5:13 or something like that. That's a sign right???

P and I have a nice weekend planned with our friends. Him and I are looking so forward to that, I cannot even tell ya. It helps break up the blahs of winter.

Ohoh--time to go see my hunny now! Have a great day

The demise of face to face interaction

2011-01-23T13:15:00.003-06:00

P and I have had this discussion quite a bit over the last year. I'm a Facebook person as are all our kids--P HATES Facebook.

I used to play all sorts of games on my FB, still do engage in back and forth banter with our kids on occasion but have since stopped all the games and what was turning into an obsessed form of communication. It can easily become the abyss of a silent world I think.

Social networks, emails, text messaging--it's all a very real but scary reality and so easy to get lost in. I'm more of an introvert and like to express myself in writing. I've never been much of a talker except with my hubby and select friends. Otherwise, I'm a social misfit. I have my thoughts but never really express them...until I leave and then talk with P about it or I will on my blog.

I find that all these forms of communication make it way too easy for devious behavior--hate mail, secret text messages, secret emails, bullying, and frankly the way for people to show their true colors. There's a lot of bad behavior out there over the internet and much of it has affected our family in one way or another.

P and I have been blogging for awhile and had our share of 'rubes' as we call them, our kids have been bullied by classmates or insulted publicly by name, we've seen people air their dirty laundry for the world to read, and other things that in the world I grew up in as a little girl would be deemed inappropriate.

P and I email each other a lot during the week...we chat, share news, and just stay in touch. Sometimes we'll text each other just to change it up--he works, I don't so we have that opportunity. And it's a privilege to have this capability. But we've also been sure to remind each other that it can easily become the only way in which we communicate which in reality could very well destroy the great relationship we do have.

Imagine, an LOL becoming the only indication of laughter in your everyday life, or 'love you' only being shared in the form of a text message or emailed...after awhile it may very well become pretty impersonal and meaningless. And the saddest part is it's happening....our own children get sucked into it and we have to get them out of their rooms to come out and join the living sometimes.

I often think about our own lives 15 years ago...no cell phones, just email. And it was so foreign and 'modern'! P and I wouldn't talk all day long unless he had access to a phone, I wouldn't receive phone calls while he drove home from work, I wouldn't get his great text messages or even emails from him because he didn't have the means to do so...we didn't have the check-in phone calls or texts from our kids letting us know they arrived somewhere safely or play by play of some exciting thing they were doing.....

There are a lot of great advantages to this new technological world not to mention job security for any of us going to school for IT--like me. But there are also a lot of potentially dangerous repercussions as well. I love technology but hate it at the same time.

While we can't necessarily control the advancements in technology we as human beings can take control of how we act, the ways in which we utilize the very privileges these devices have provided us. Some days its even hard for myself but a gentle reminder that we are in fact a people that thrive on social interaction is usually all it takes...just have to remember that is all.

Nothing can compare

2011-01-22T22:05:00.004-06:00

Today we went to our daughter's house to celebrate 2 years of being grandparents! Well, it was WeeMan's second birthday.

I remember the initial shock of learning our daughter was pregnant...the realization that our kids did in fact grow up no matter how much we deny it's happening. He came into this world and it was a surreal feeling...one that was much different than those feelings I had when my own children were born. I remember looking at him in that warming bed and thinking...wow, this little one is not coming home with us...his mama is our daughter but she's just not ready for this!

Oh how wrong I was. She's doing an outstanding job. This tiny helpless infant is turning into quite a little character...talking, running around like a crazy man, laughing and joking around, intelligent, and everything every grandparent says their grandkids are! He's so curious and looks so much like his mama!

The love of this little boy has grown over the last two years into something completely different then that I have for our kids. There's a whole new place that seems to have grown in my heart--a place that has been just waiting to feel this very emotion.

Watching our daughter with her little boy--she dotes on him, makes sure he's being taught properly how he should and shouldn't act, patient--doing all that a parent does while making sure he gets away with some things she knows one day she'll regret--I think like most parents do...a child's laughter, tears, puppy eyes, and sweet little hugs are enough to make even the toughest disciplinarian ease up a bit.

This little boy changed all of our lives on so many levels. He has been such a welcome addition to our family--born 9 months to the day of my father's death not to mention on the Democratic inauguration day--a significant event that P felt was my father's last joke on him. WeeMan is the apple of our eyes.

So here I sit, looking at the pictures our daughter gave us for our frames marveling and reliving the moments this little boy couldn't hardly hold his head up...sleeping on my chest, awed by the ceiling fan, learning to crawl then walk..learning to eat with a spoon...all of it seen in only brief visits. Our daughter has been so great about giving us updates, making sure we get to see him when he's learning new things--while I was able to see every waking moment with our own kids I'm also seeing much of that with our first grandson only without all the other added extras.

Ahh...2-years already...I look so forward to so many more years with him and our future grandkids. When I hear that little guy say O-Ma to me I just melt and wonder how on earth I could have been so blind to the many cherished moments that lie ahead and that I am already living. There is no love quite like it...Happy 2nd Birthday to our very special little WeeMan!

Balmy Minnesota

2011-01-20T20:55:00.003-06:00

Just gotta love being a Minnesotan on days like today and tomorrow! Currently, it's -8 with a windchill of -23 degrees! Wowza! It's supposed to only be for today and tomorrow but I have to say I'm sure glad we don't live further north. Temps up a little further north are currently at -16 and with the wind it feels like -29. And it's not even 10:00pm. By morning, we'll be looking at windchills possibly in the -40 degree range.

Time to pull out the old convertible, hit the highway with the top down and let the hair blow in the wind! NOT!

My Sweet Stella

2011-01-18T21:29:00.002-06:00

Before I tackle another week of homework I decided it was a good moment to babble! Our household has been visited by 'the bug'. I've been sick since last Wednesday beginning with a sore throat, aches, chills, and fever and am now battling the cold from hell.

Our son took ill last night with 101 fever and the headache from hell and is home today nursing himself back to health. His head still hurts and has been running a fever all day. P hasn't been feeling like himself today but on the bright side, our daughter is finally over her sickness. So, our luck from whatever this bug is has run out.

I tend to believe this little 'gift' was left by our WeeMan who's visit here was so sweet. I knew I was going to get his cold because I just couldn't resist his fishy kisses and his generosity of sharing his food with me. I was a bad Oma.

So that little guy is going to be two in a couple days already. Man time goes fast. I was treated to a phone call from our daughter last night with him rattling off all sorts of words...I love it when they start to talk fluently...There's nothing quite like the pronunciation of specific words and their sweet little voices. But I have to add, by those teenage years when they've mastered the art of 'witty' remarks and 'jabs' that hit in the gut I wish they were back to being infants!

In other news, I'm on the hunt for another kitten!!! We have Stella--oh sweet, sweet Stella. NOT! She's quite a cat these days. She gets really bored around here and wants attention many days I sit here in the peace and quiet doing my homework.

I have a laptop that I choose to use a mouse with because I just hate the mouse pad thing on the laptop. If it's because she knows the name of that device is 'mouse' or if she's just being a shit, I will never know! I won't be paying much attention and all the sudden she comes in for the attack, teeth bared, claws out and attacks my hand with everything she's got! Good grief, I try to get her off my hand and it only makes matters worse! She wraps her paws around my wrist and continues with her gnawing and steel grip. I move my arm around and she moves with it only getting a better grip. This continues for as long as my threshold for pain can last--usually about 30 seconds before I grab her and yell at her and put her on the floor. She usually looks at me with these very angry eyes and sighs.

Don't get me wrong..I absolutely adore this cat. She's a beautiful little thing and as cats go, very unique in the way most cats are. She so badly wants to sleep in our room at night...I want her to but P will always say, "Awww, really???" He knows she's 'satan' cat because for some reason she LOVES to attack his feet and legs when she's in our room. Never mine, even if I wiggle them--yeah, she'll come after mine but immediately pounces on P's. After so many grumbles and sighs I know it's time to throw her into the hallway and ban her from our room for the night. I then lay there and silently hang my lip because Stella sits outside our doorway mewing to come back in. Breaks my heart!

The other day our son was playing with her. He decided to trap her under an empty clothes basket to see what she would do....well, instead of sitting there the whole time glaring at him she opted to cram her nose in one of the holes on the side and proceeded to move the basket across the floor. She did this for awhile, throwing it up in the air a couple times on her way to a pair of shoes. Once at the shoes, she pushed her nose through a hole again and threw the basket up and forward so it landed on the shoes and she quickly scooted out from the trap. That smarty-cat problem solved her way right out of that...now if only I could get her to understand English she might very well learn to talk!

I believe I've mentioned before how she destroys our house on some nights out of boredom...pictures behind the tv, empty aluminum cans all over, things knocked in the fish tank...we seriously have to cat proof this house from all her antics! The other day I went in our bedroom to watch tv and it wasn't working...she had knocked the dvd player off the top of it and somehow disconnected one of the cords.

I used to think the kids were such a handful but now I'm rethinking that. I need a playmate for this little menace! Each time I look at her messes I think of her name and the meaning behind that choice....the urge to open the fridge to pull out a Stella having to clean up after her...oh my!

Tonight she's terrorizing the printer as our daughter prints out homework, then onto those printed out papers to bite them and claw holes in them, then to the cords on the Wii to bat them around...oh the joys of having an 8 month old kitten..almost as much fun as having our little WeeMan around!

Now, I'm off to watch a movie with my hubby..Spy Games, haven't seen that in ages. But I think I like the idea of cuddling up with him better than the movie anyway..have a great night all.....

Edgar

2011-01-10T19:51:00.003-06:00

Well today P and I released squirrel number five. I lovingly call him/her Edgar. No significance, that's just the name I thought of when I saw how fat it was! I do believe P should make a living out of this since it seems that we're catching every squirrel in the area now. At least that gawd-awful scratching has ceased over my head as I sit here by myself doing homework everyday.

It's so funny watching these critters scurry off! They literally run for their lives the second that little cage door opens and usually seek shelter in pine trees. I don't have to go along but do enjoy watching the event not to mention there's just something about the act of catching them and setting them free to live somewhere else. Yes, I'm an animal lover so just shoot me--not the squirrels. Yeah, I get grief for my big heart when it comes to animals but I must admit I do have my limits.

Like the ducks that killed our pet chicken or the rooster that attacked our children every time they went outside. They had to go and it was good shooting practice for P. He hated doing it but reminded himself the damage they were doing and that was probably the moment he pulled the trigger...I mean come on, we had three girls who refused to go outside on beautiful summer days because that dumb rooster would jump up on their backs....and those ducks? Nasty cusses and that's all I will say about that.

Yeah, I do draw the line on some things...but others? Heck, we're going to have a 4 3/4 lb. largemouth hanging on our wall in the near future. Why? Well, it swallowed my hook and ultimately ended up floating a few feet from the boat about 10 minutes after we let it go. Neither P or I had the heart to cut this beautiful creature up and have it for dinner so we froze it and took it to the taxidermist about 6 months ago. How pathetic is that? That's not a trophy fish by any means but as bass go....

Anyway, we sit here waiting for a fresh snow cover so we can check for fresh squirrel tracks leading to our roof. They must know it's going to snow because with each new snowfall we have caught another right before the storm...the squirrels must be loading up on food to go hide through the storm and what better place than a strategically placed squirrel trap with plenty of bird food and no escape......

What a way to start my day!

2011-01-06T08:29:00.006-06:00

I've been up since about 6:45 this morning and I just have to share how amazingly eye opening, and warm the first two and a half hours of my day were.

One of my old daycare parents and I were texting last night--her and I had a falling out when I quit doing daycare. Her and her family were really good friends to me and our family. She's in the process of trying to set me up with a family to do childcare for. We've run into each other here and there and caught up a bit but that's about it.

I awoke this morning to four text messages from her explaining all the pertinent details and fired back a text thanking her and telling her that I was so grateful for her recommendation despite our past falling out. Lets just say her and I apologized to each other and she said some very kind things to me. Things that I chose to block out for the past 4 years because I didn't think they meant anything anymore. (I have a tendency of doing that). Good things, things that she was always good at pointing out to me because she is just that kind of person. A good heart full of love, gratitude and wisdom. And I have to say, she is probably one of those people that I really miss in so many ways.

Then, after my shower and getting dishes done I opened my email and was very surprised to find one from one of P's coworkers. Normally when people work with people, the significant others are just that and no more and rarely acknowledged for this reason...

P and I gave cookies and pies to three of those people he works with for the holidays. Me being who I am was terribly worried about how those homemade treats would taste. Both P and I like to give to his coworkers because of 1) how wonderful they have been not only to him but to his family--not with gifts but with genuine care, concern, support, and not to mention a genuine interest and 2) they are like an extended family to him and us. If I go to see him at work his boss never fails to remember those events we spoke of last or things P has shared with her about our families and I have never been made to feel unwelcome...the individuals there are like those I worked with as a para at the elementary school...one big family.

So this email was a thank you for the treats letting me know they were scrumptious and that this person appreciated the fact that they didn't have to prepare any pies for Thanksgiving because of the one we gave. At the very end of it she told me that P was one lucky husband...honestly, I always hear what a lucky woman I am to have him and with everything I am, that is so true---- but that? I'm certainly not used to that except from P himself..he's always telling me how lucky he is and frankly, it makes me blush.

I am extremely touched by her kind words meant for me from someone I only know a little. She is not the only one there who has shown me that I am an important part of P's life other than just his wife who sends him off to work. If there's one thing I miss about my job as a para, it's that. If I was having a down day because of something stressful, my coworkers hugged me and then immediately wanted to make sure my family was ok as well. They knew that if I was affected by something that it certainly meant my entire family was....not just me.

So then...my own husband tells me that she's right and he's been saying much of the same to me since he went back to work this week. He told me yesterday that I'm his everything and he doesn't know what he would do without me. He tells me this so often and sometimes I swear I have that 'selective hearing' feature because there's just so much muddle surrounding those good things that should be glaring in my face--meaning my husband and my children and those outside of our reach who touch our hearts in ways that many times we don't even recognize until a moment like this morning. The moments of my strength that many times are taken for granted.

I have to say that I needed to hear these things this week. Last year was a rough year for our family in a lot of ways...I'm unemployed, a wedding, our youngest going into middle school, a scare with P's folks, a cancer scare with one of our children that I never spoke about, a friend of mine's husband has cancer, friends who have lost loved ones, and so much more. I don't like to speak much about those things that tear at my heart--it gets overwhelming.

But today started out in a way that I haven't had in a very long time...I was ambushed with some really nice compliments and words from friends, the man I love, and from someone who barely knows me and it's made one hell of a great day for me. One can only find the positive in the negative if they are really looking...and with all the stress and heart wrenching that's been twisting me up inside this past year I've been holding on to that while only taking a glance at those things that should matter more than all that that can eat a person up inside.

Here's to keeping the chin up and preparing to tackle what this new year will bring. I sure do hope it's nice to us!!!

The little Taz will arrive in about 3 days...

2011-01-04T20:55:00.005-06:00

So it's Tuesday and things are pretty much back to normal. I had one heck of a time getting out of that 'relax' mode this morning...but once I did I managed to finish up one weeks worth of homework in my Biology class! Yahoo! Now I can focus on my Web Design class and discussion questions and prepare to have our little WeeMan over for the weekend! I'm excited.

He's getting so big and I have to say, he's turning into G-Ma's boy! He likes to sit on my lap and he is such a good hugger! He will lay his little head on my shoulder and wrap his arms around me and just stay that way for what seems like 10 minutes...I just breathe it all in with my arms wrapped tightly around him and my face buried in his little neck. There is just nothing like that moment him and I will share many times when he visits. Upon seeing pictures the kids have taken of that precious moment my eyes are always closed and I have a content smile and he is just laid out with his sweet little smile looking at the camera like 'yeah, I've got G-Ma wrapped around my little pinky'...and he's right.

I always have to make sure I have those little cups of applesauce in the fridge when he comes over cuz him and I have this thing.....he pulls me off the couch, drags me to the kitchen to the drawer and while I'm watching him I realize why he stopped pulling me at the drawer...he wants me to get a spoon out while he digs in the fridge and gets himself an applesauce. I no sooner get the spoon and take a step towards him and he's running full speed to my spot on the couch carrying his applesauce. He sits on my lap as I feed him ... yeah, he's getting a bit big to be spoon fed, I know but I cannot seem to break me of something him and I have been doing since he was old enough to eat solids.....no food for the wee ones in the living room, that's how it all started. My fault.

P and I got him this cool little Radio Flyer toy for Christmas...he can ride it forward, backward, sideways or in circles. Our youngest daughter taught him how to do the circles and on Christmas Eve the kid was in the kitchen spinning in circles for I don't know how long....all of us were standing there laughing and watching him make himself dizzy...I really hope our daughter remembers to bring it over this weekend.

Now, I sit and wait for P to be done watching this hockey special so we can finish watching Star Wars. Both of us have been suffering from some mild stomach bug the last few days so the low key movie watching activity is just what the doctor ordered. Not to mention some nice quiet time for just him and I.....

Hope everyone has a great night! Until next time.

A belated Happy New Year

2011-01-02T17:36:00.004-06:00

I'm finally able to sit and relax a bit before we all dig into 'normal' again. New Years has been and gone, pretty uneventful for us this year. We took the kids bowling which was a lot of fun. We all could use some more of that considering how horrible we all played but lots of laughs were had. P and I came home, went out for a beer and then back home to watch the ball drop with the kids. Very quiet night.

Yesterday we took the kids shopping with their Christmas money and that was an all day event. Thank goodness we only had one girl to shop for. She had a heck of a time finding things she liked. We stopped at my mom's for lasagna dinner and also learned she now has a computer my brother gave her. That is the coolest thing! She's very afraid of it but has discovered she can swim in recipes but didn't get how to print them even after my brother showed her. So I got to sit her down and made her do it on her own, it's so cute to watch her with this foreign technology. She also had me write it down for her step by step so she could practice. I told her the next time I see her she will be a pro! LOL It will take her awhile I think to figure it out but that's ok, she has nothing but time these days. We finally got home from that very long day around 8:00...loooooong day.

P made us a prime rib dinner tonight! YUMMY! We thought instead of a Christmas meal we would bring in the New Year on a yummy note! P sure was excited about it because I certainly wasn't up to a second big meal and mess on Christmas day. And man, that guy cooks one mean prime rib. We just finished eating and again are paving our way into one of the last nights to relax before work and school start again. UGH!

I think the last few days have us all a bit sad because our vacation is coming to an end. School resumes tomorrow for the kids and myself. I won't dig in until Tuesday probably so I can enjoy the day with my man. We were going to rearrange the living room but are still unsure about that...it will be a big job. We'll probably just end up lazing around all day.

Anyway, since I didn't get the chance, I'm taking this moment to wish everyone a very Happy New Year and may it be everything you wish for! 2010 is now but a memory and one that has left our family spent from many ups and downs and new milestones. Here's hoping 2011 doesn't throw us nearly as many curve balls so we can catch our breath!

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Ms. Griswold has found herself displaced

2010-12-29T18:15:00.007-06:00

Well, after a few weeks of P trying to find ways to rid our ceiling of the god-awful scratching, ripping up of insulation, and ceiling panels being knocked out we broke down and purchased this nifty little cage.

A borrowed .22 didn't do the trick because of course it seemed the second P had possession of this the squirrels became scarce...except for the destruction they were causing in the ceiling. But thanks to our friends for their effort to help us rid our home of this critter.

It was then we decided we best research on the internet other ways in which to get rid of this creature. I was sitting here one day doing my homework and just above my head I heard the scratching and could just imagine the destruction in progress...that was pretty much the last straw.

Messing with an unused room is one thing but moving throughout the main living area...egads! I certainly didn't want to run around the house all day banging on the ceiling with the broom which is what I've been doing the last couple weeks.

So we bought this cage and made a tasty treat of apples with peanut butter and bird seed sprinkled on top and within 2 days we had our first little critter. P drove that thing 15 miles away to ensure it would never return.

Well...insulation was still falling from the ceiling and scratching was occurring in the living room--we had not solved the problem and figured that little critter was just an offspring since it wasn't nearly as big as those we'd been seeing scurrying all over the back yard. So trap number two was set two days ago.

Again, that tasty treat of apple, peanut butter and seed. P went up to check on it and one half of the apple was gone and the door to the trap was shut, but no squirrel. So he reset it with the remaining apple. A few hours later the apple went missing and the trap never triggered. So then, he made another treat but only half this time....the next morning, the apple was still there but the cage was tipped on it's front end with the door still open. After two more attempts we learned that this smarty pants must have been reaching in through the cage and attempting to get that apple because the trap was tripped but there were marks on that apple suggesting this crafty critter was attempting to eat the bait through the cage... somehow it seemed to know the game.

On a side note, when we had that .22 here we noticed how the squirrels would act as if they were in a war zone...they would scurry behind a tree or the pole to the bird feeder and peek out at us and make a bee-line to their next cover. One even had a hole dug next to the bird feeder that it jumped into and peeked it's head out at me as I stood there wishing I had a gun. Why? Because once it pulled itself from the hole it ran immediately to it's access point to the roof.

Ms. Griswold is her given name. We've lovingly named this squirrel after the Christmas Vacation movie because...well, just because. So anyway, it got to the point the P was not going to reward this menace with more juicy treats for nothing so he resorted to just dumping birdseed in the cage, surrounding it with snow so Ms. Griswold had to physically enter...oh, and he filled a milk jug with water to place on top so that sneaky little thing wouldn't tip the cage.

This morning? Success! There she was in all her frantic fear scratching, struggling to free herself, trapped. So we took the kids and we set her free 15 miles away in a different direction and she gave us a look and quickly but casually scurried away into a pine tree. As she jumped onto the trunk of the tree she stopped and looked back at us.

Now, we have one left we think, one of Ms. Griswold's offspring that was caught up by the cage when P went to check this morning. We really hope that will end this adventure. Next spring will be a busy one fixing up the damage and cursing these animals.

After it's all said and done

2010-12-26T12:13:00.003-06:00

It's OVER! Man, what a whirlwind week that was and in the end, after all is said and done, the holiday went smooth, food was decent except for the dumb gravy, kids had a good Christmas and there was a lot of laughs for all of us.

Now, what lies ahead is a week full of lazy and relaxing. My hubby gets a whole week off and he is soooo overjoyed about that--me too. =) The kids will be here as well and so far, we've done nothing but sit around and watch movies. Nothing quite like being lazy for a week right?

P and I played Risk until the wee hours last night. Neither of us won but I thought he was on the way to conquering and he thought I was. That game could have lasted for days! The last time we played I conquered the world! LOL I purchased that game because P played that when he was a kid and when he would see it he would say--"hun, we gotta get that game." A game of strategy and greed....hahaha, it's definitely fun but it can bring out the vindictiveness in each other!

Now I sit here looking at the Christmas tree and how destroyed it is because of our cat. She's having way too much fun pulling the ornaments off and batting them around or carrying them in her mouth to her secret hiding place. Reggie the retrievers tail is wreaking havoc on those ornaments the cat can't reach....there's only remnants of the festivities around. P was a big help with all the clean up and getting things arranged...I couldn't be more lucky to have a guy who doesn't sit around on his butt--instead he's always sure to ask what he can do to help! Thanks hun, that means the world to me when I'm feeling as overwhelmed as I was last week! Without him ... I don't even like to think that way!

I suspect in a day or two the tree will be down, the tables moved back to their 'homes' and our house will be back to normal yet a bit cleaner than it usually is....now its time to prepare for the New Year ahead and hope for a much more peaceful, less eventful year in 2011! Fingers crossed!

Hope you all have a spectacular week ahead...I know I will!

Ebenezer was onto something

2010-12-22T20:51:00.006-06:00

The eventful day is just around the corner. I probably won't have much time to post my holiday wishes after tonight with all the hustle and bustle in store.

The week has proven to be very busy and running very smoothly. I'm on schedule with everything except for moving some things around the house.

Ahhh, Christmas. I'm usually a bah humbug sort of person the weeks previous to Christmas with all the preparations. Each day closer lifts a bit of that bah and leaves me with a humbug. Progress eases the stress and lifts the weight of all that needs to be done and leaves me feeling peaceful and content.

I mope around cursing this holiday every year because the stores are busy, money if flying out of our pockets like water from a faucet, baking needs to be done, presents need to be made or wrapped, menus need to be prepared. But deep inside my heart, Christmas is one of my most favorite holidays.

The moment all that work is done and I can enjoy the hours and hours of labor, being with my husband and our kids, is the moment all that stress turns into content and an outpouring of love and appreciation.

Our kids...god are we blessed with some great kids. And our grandson...oh my. And I'm blessed to have a man who dotes on us and loves us to no end...that to me is gift enough on this much anticipated holiday.

While I don't much care for the commercialization of Christmas these days, I do love the act of contributing to it. Guilty! I spend hours wrapping gifts for our kids and trying to find ways to make them work for it...this year is no exception. They are going to be very displeased with me I think...oops.

But many times every year, I stop what I'm doing and remind myself what the real meaning of this day is...gifts are nice, giving and receiving are fun but right around this time I start to think of my mom.

She loved going to midnight mass and still does. She loves the music, the service, all of it. I think about how she would drag us kids out of bed and make us go with her...how I would sit there and shiver struggling to stay awake. I'm sure I fell asleep plenty but she was always right...the music was like nothing we'd ever hear on a regular day at church.....it was amazing.

Christmas day was generally pretty chaotic for her with 8 kids, significant others, grandkids, and great-grandkids packing into that small house. Cooking for well over 30 people, table set, working around the cramped quarters...she spent weeks before Christmas baking and freezing cookies and fruitcakes, shopping, wrapping gifts....my mom is one hell of a woman!

Through it all though she would stop to remind us kids about the birth of Jesus and tell us that Christmas is not about the gifts. That we should always remember the true meaning of this day. And she still does.

While I'm not religious, that doesn't stop me from remembering that. Usually about this same time every year too. It helps me keep things in perspective, to take a breath and a step back from the overwhelming aspect of this day that I curse....today was the day I remembered as I was washing up dishes from the many pie crusts.

Today is the day I stopped the cursing and started to enjoy all I was doing. The 'bah' is long since gone and that 'bug' has left the roost as well....The real meaning of this day, all the gifts wrapped and others ready to be sent off with P in the morning...all of it came together at that moment and left me with a gently 'hum' filling my heart.

Friends, family, memories of my father....sadness for those lost and those military folks who's significant others won't be home .... the worry about whether people will like our gifts is gone, the worry about seating and space in our home is gone. In the end it turns out, in my world anyway, bah humbug isn't all bad...only one and a half of those words should be discarded. It's that positive in a negative thing with me.

On that note, I want to wish you all have a very Merry Christmas, have many laughs and lotsa love as you spend the day with those who mean the most to you....and may all those troops and their families find some way to enjoy this day. Hugs and kisses to my dad.

Merry Christmas to all our friends and family!!!!!

UGH!

2010-12-20T21:51:00.003-06:00

I've found some down time to put up a post before the holidays. I sure didn't think that would happen.

We're having people over for Christmas Eve so our household has been busy with cleaning, baking, and stressing. We haven't hosted a feast here in a number of years for family so we're a little out of practice.

I'm currently on vacation for 2 weeks from school and I don't feel like it's much of a vacation yet! I've been baking cookies--lots of them. I currently have 12 1-gallon bags full of cookies sitting on our dining room table. Why so many? Simple gifts this year. Well, simple in the fact that we didn't have to go from store to store finding just that perfect gift for people...not so simple to make. I've spent about 11 hours today baking, I spent another 8 or so baking with our daughter on Saturday and I'm nearly done. 2-pans left and yay...a day well spent.

Tomorrow is my day to wrap gifts and try to get to the last couple things I need to clean up before Friday. Wednesday is pie baking and a little rearranging of the house so we can fit the nearly 20 people here comfortably and Thursday I'll be making stuffing and all the other little odds and ends to go with our Friday meal.

I can tell you this...I'm already exhausted beyond repair and cannot wait for Christmas Day to arrive when there will be nothing to do but lay around all day and veg out to the tube! We've decided not to make a big meal on Christmas day...instead we'll feast on leftovers and begin the real vacation for all of us. Now THAT sounds heavenly!

What will we do? Who cares! All I care about is spending time with my hubby and kids and doing whatever it may be that we might want to do.....ahhhhhh. Just dreaming of that calgon moment right now....

See you all real soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want a Happy Meal with a toy!

2010-12-13T21:06:00.005-06:00

You just had to know this was right on the heels of stopping us evil smokers!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I don't disagree with the obesity problem in this country...it's everywhere. But it's personal choice for many to put the food in their mouths. Blaming McDonalds..well I believe I've posted on that before.

We limit snacks in this house, we limit our dinners out--the key words are 'WE LIMIT'! It's called making choices...apparently though there are those who just chose not to make choices but instead would welcome others to make that choice for them. What are we, robots?

Parent's do need to teach their kids to eat healthy, they DO need to take control and help their children learn what's acceptable and what's not. But apparently it's just easier to allow the government into our friggen homes to regulate, raise, and determine what's best for us and our children! Don't even get me started!

What is this country coming to? Government mandated health care, smoking bans everywhere, seat belt laws, and now dictating how private businesses should feed the public...what's next people! Wake the hell up!

Our aching backs...

2010-12-11T19:51:00.005-06:00

WOW! What a Whopper storm! P and I woke up at 10:00 this morning to roughly 7 inches of snow. We got our two kids out there shoveling with us and that took an hour. We then ran an errand in preparation for the 2 day hibernation, came home and him and I shoveled again. That was about an hour and a half later and there was another 3-4 inches on the ground. Two more hours later P and I went out a third time to shovel...we waited too long and were shoveling 4+ inches. By the time we met up at the end of our really big drive, both of us were moving very slow, struggling with aching backs and really sore left arms....

Now, there's probably another 2-3 inches on the ground laughing at us as we look at it with dread...BUT we decided to wait until Monday to get out there and shovel. With winds at 25-35mph and gusts up to 45mph, we're expecting to have to go fix that damage on Monday anyway....so my back is thanking me profusely.

Our oldest daughter asked me an odd question though. She's the one I dragged through the knee-deep snow in 1991 with that really heavy cast...she asked me if the storm was named A----, her little boys name. (I should note that he's almost 2 years--she had turned two that October.) I thought someone was just messing with her but I thought wrong.....the storm is in fact named Blizzard A----, different spelling. How exactly does that happen? It's just these little coincidences that truly mystify me but in this case, I think that is the coolest damn thing in the whole world! 1991 was a pretty significant year for us with her broken leg and that odd winter storm.....now this.

Just wow....now if ONLY we could win a snow blower or the lottery or something...life would be great then!

Is it fishing season yet?

2010-12-10T21:46:00.004-06:00

We're in trouble I think and lets hope our damn power doesn't go out! I say that because we've had numerous power outages in the last few months from weather and god knows what glitches the power company has had...going out tomorrow or Sunday could prove pretty detrimental with temps dropping and wind chills 25-35 below zero.

We haven't had a storm like this in a long time! The last was that fateful one in 1991 when I lugged our two-year old daughter around in her winter coat and a spica cast in snow up to my knees. I think we went to maybe 8 houses and I just couldn't do it anymore....

Tomorrow....what a lot of snow, holy cow. 12-16 inches? My aching back!

I do hope all the Minnesotans out there heed the warnings to stay home and choose to stay warm, safe and snug in their homes. We have a child who has to work but are urging her to call in and tell them forget it....Oh joy, winter.....so far my predictions for this winter are pretty dead on ..... lots of snow and cold.

And to think, on November 8 we were sitting out on a lake in our boat enjoying our last fishing outing for 2010......

Something as simple as a snowflake

2010-12-06T21:34:00.003-06:00

Last night at about 1:00 in the morning P and I were out on the deck having a smoke. I've mentioned before the dead silence that surrounds us when there's snow on the ground. It's deafening at times, kind of like last night when both of our ears seemed to be ringing.

As we stood there somewhat silent here and there, listening to an owl 'who-whooing' there was also a very gentle snowfall kissing our cheeks. We stood there, kind of cold, discussing how much it looked like a snow globe. Not huge flakes but bigger...there wasn't any wind so they just kind of fell. I held my face up, stuck out my tongue and tried to catch some flakes--getting some in my eye and down my neck. I gave up and looked over and there was P looking up as well. He wasn't trying to catch them but his eyes were closed. I just smiled.

As we stood there I mentioned a night him and I were at the bar. It started to snow and we started whining about the weather as is pretty normal for us Minnesotans. More snow! UGH. But as we were looking out the window the flakes began to grow bigger...we decided on the spot we were going to leave the bar and come home and get our kids out of bed and take them out in woods to take in the enormous flakes that were falling from the sky. It was midnight or maybe even 1:00 in the morning but we didn't care. Spontaneity took over and I have to say I'm so glad it did.

That night has gone into the memory banks of all our kids and P and I. It was the most beautiful night in winter history for us. Mild weather with flakes as big as a can of pop is round. Our kids thought we were nuts getting them out of bed to get all dressed up to go trudging through the woods in the middle of the night. But since that night not a year has gone by that one of them hasn't mentioned it.

Last night reminds us of the fact that it's those simple things that matter, it's those brief moments or glimpses that weave their way into our hearts and memories. Last night I wondered out loud how many people were standing outside at that very moment taking in the life that goes on around them. We both started laughing because after all, it was 1:00 in the morning on a Sunday night...and it was at that point that we decided probably not many. I looked at Pat and said, 'this is just a reminder of the little things that make life so much easier to bear.'

While smoking sucks, there have been many, many times we have seen things we may not have otherwise seen if we hadn't smoked or done so in the confines of our home. Hundreds of nights looking up at the stars in the sky with P pointing out different constellations to me, sites of squirrels jumping all over the place knocking snow off the limbs of trees, freaking out at the crackling of branches wondering what that was, hearing the god-awful screaming of coyotes or the low angry growl of raccoons as they make their way to our other deck, cats fighting, the dam rushing in the distance but it sounds like its only a couple hundred yards away, or other mystery critters screaming in the woods.

As we stood out there tonight for another heater Pat looked out over the driveway and carried on the tradition of making special moments discussing with me how very perfect he was able to drive into the drive so as to knock out a tires width of snow on the edge which of course widened our driveway just that much more. But not before he pointed out how the snow falling tonight was like walking into last nights.....

Turkey Day 2010

2010-11-24T16:23:00.003-06:00

So much to be thankful for in my life. So many memories, so many laughs and tears, so many hugs and kisses from those I love, so much growth with each passing year, so many giggles from children, annoying animals that many times make me laugh, good friends, a great husband, kids that are less than perfect, and a wee grandson I cannot wait to see tomorrow. A home that keeps us warm....if the power is working--food in our fridge, beauty surrounding us......each year it seems all these things matter more and more. They are on my mind more and more.

Tomorrow is that one day of the year that many of us openly note our gratefulness to everything around us. One day a year is just not enough for people to recognize the rights in their life, the good and wonderful things they are blessed with each an every day. Regardless of the bad that may bring us down or that clouds our better judgment I believe there is ALWAYS something positive in that negative. A lesson or an eye opener to those things we take for granted.

All these lessons in life, all these material objects we have, all our children, all those hugs and kisses or our wee grandson and so much more have only cemented and brought into perspective how very lucky I am each day I wake.

I really hope everyone out there has a very safe, relaxing, and family filled Thanksgiving. Thanks to all my cyber friends who leave me those kind comments, who have followed this blog for all the years it's been around, and for giving me a reason to keep adding to the journal of my life!

Thank you everyone and I truly hope you and your families have a very great day!

Happy Turkey Day!!!!!

Minds are a wonderful thing

2010-11-23T15:50:00.003-06:00

I am in decompress mode right now. I finished my final for Algebra and didn't proofread it or even really care enough to take my time. I must have wanted to be done with mathematical terms just that bad. Even so, I got a B on the test with a couple of really dumb mistakes that I should have recognized and the rest, a few letters or numbers off in my calculations but so be it. I'm done.

Our discussion in the class this week is all about how we use math/algebra in everyday life. You know, what our parents and teachers always told us when we were young. There was one student who mentioned how much it will help her with her sewing and that got me to thinking.

When I was growing up, I spent many hours watching my mom and dad. Being the baby of the family I didn't have much else going on in my life....

My mom sewed A LOT when we were younger, you name it she sewed it. She still does on occasion but with age comes stiff joints and eyes that won't cooperate. She sure did love to do it. She worked on all my bridesmaid dresses, altered my wedding dress, made me a winter jacket that to this day she still remains very proud of, she made me a formal gown for a dance and something I still treasure, a quilt that's nothing but rags right now.

Once I moved out she made things for our kids--our oldest was fortunate enough to get a whole nursery set--blanket, sheets including fitted sheets, pillow covers, and a waterproof sheet, cloth diapers...she made them dresses that our second daughter wore thin, she made our third daughter a beautiful baptismal gown...our son, well, he got a stuffed puppy from her she made that he won't give up.

My father on the other hand was handy on so many levels. He fixed cars all the time in between truck routes, made repairs to the house. He remodeled our house... knocked out a wall, built a china cabinet, built docks, decks, sheds, and as he grew older took up the arts and crafts hobby. He made those little wood yard ornaments, some of which I have hanging around our yard. My mom painted them almost as fast as he made them but they didn't go to great lengths to sell them.

For our kids he built our daughter a little tray she could use when she was laid up in a cast, he made me a blue bird house, we have two benches in our dining room which were a one of the last things I think he ever made and something I cherish...There are pieces of both my parents all around me.

By the time my father died, he had a crippled finger and another was lopped off which I distinctly remember him asking Pat and I if we wanted a little extra meat for dinner that night. Ewwwwwww...and I believe I pretty much left the table as he laughed himself to tears.

But my point in all of this is how amazing it always was to me. Both my folks dropped out of school early. My father reached the ninth grade and my mom the fifth...it was more important back then to help around the farm or the house. Here's two people, who were self taught creating some really beautiful things and the only flaws were those their own eyes saw.

My mom coming home with patterns and a piece of fabric and studying that pattern for days or minutes...my dad with his tape measure and tools and that pen behind his ear as he worked out what it was he was going to do. The yardstick and big construction pencil......

All that they did required math of some sort. Things I couldn't figure out even after my classes unless I really tried hard and even then....I told this woman who talked about her sewing that if I told my mom she was actually doing college level algebra when she sewed her jaw would drop to the floor. I never thought of math as some complex tool and just assumed basic skills are those that we all used everyday with nary a thought.

I know, I sound like a student but hey, I am, what can I say. I just think it's really neat to think about how my parents and millions of others out there have been able to master skills above and beyond those couldn't do with pretty much no formal education. The human mind is an amazing thing if you really think about it.

This and that

2010-11-21T17:25:00.003-06:00

I smell s'ghetti, garlic bread and sauce! Mmm, dinner is on the stove and I'm hungry!

I'm one final away from being finished with Algebra. I am so overjoyed about that! Still at an A in the class so I think I could pretty much bomb the test and still get a decent grade. These last few weeks of math have been the most frustrating classes I've had yet! So much so that I told P I really missed my writing classes. Trade one for the other I guess.

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. Man how time does fly. Our oldest is going to host the feast at their house and is very excited about that. Of course I get to bake the pies and make the stuffing..she would! LOL

I figured though I would throw together a couple of pumpkin pies for P's supervisor and a couple of the others he works closely with. Hopefully they'll like it. They've been so good to him there and to me as well. I'll get cookies from his boss or something P and I can share. Great people there who welcome me and greet me like I'm one of their own...and dote on us too. So perhaps a gift would be good for all they've done for us on so many levels.

The weather, well, finally we've been 'blessed' with a white blanket. Last night we were fortunate enough to get some freezing rain which caused quite a few accidents in the state--around 400 or so. Man, one would think we lived in some state down south with all the accidents with the first couple storms around here! Good grief.

The snow storm that dropped a few inches of very heavy wet snow; well it caused our power to go out for 18 hours! Makes one remember how much a running freezer or television actually adds to our life! We were very cold, boiled water for much of the day and were prepared for another night of no power when suddenly...tadaaaah. The relief was great--until we remembered that we had to dig all our freezer food out of the snow and put everything back away. But thank god for small favors, that snow and slightly cold weather saved us a lot of money.

Now here we sit in the warmth of our home, fed and occupied with all the conveniences of electricity. Ahh, life is definitely good.

Hope all are doing well.....

Quick blip

2010-11-07T18:52:00.004-06:00

I've had my share of experiences with what's to follow, most times it kicks me in the ass and wakes me up to what an indecent human being I have been to others in my life.

Today, well....while it's not nice to feel satisfaction that it's been dealt out for the pains my family has felt I just have to say.....KARMA is a bitch!

Laid Back

2010-11-07T10:58:00.003-06:00

Gosh it's a beautiful day out today. My pep talk in that last post is losing steam with the nice days we've had. Oh well.

Not much to report this last week. Halloween has been and gone and it was a bit lonely. We're down to our last kid who wasn't sure he wanted to trick or treat until the last minute. I think the idea of having candy was too much to resist and he had a good year. The elections have been and gone and of course there's a recount for the governors race here.

It's been very uneventful in our household this last week...life as usual. Homework, school for the kids, work for P. Homework has been killing me these last two blocks of classes, one would never know I was only in one class right now. Algebra, oh man. It's a killer! I put in almost 30 hours of homework every week.

My next block of classes I get to start working on web design and look forward to that. Of course I have a biology course that's going to be very interesting. I get to learn about how us humans are destroying the earth!!!! The discussions are going to be entertaining I think. No more math! Yay! I guess I'm doing good though because my grade report is A's all the way down with one A-. All my hours of homework are paying off.

Our second oldest daughter had a great week. She moved into her first apartment and was also hired/transferred to a new location for her job with full time hours. She is like that 5-year old girl who would dance around here in her little dresses at the thought of Barney!

She's a hard worker who's so motivated and I believe is destined for good things in her life. A 19-year old girl, living on her own, going to college and working full time. Kudos to her and we couldn't be more proud of her. That's one kid who knows what she wants! MONEY! LOL

Not much else going on. Today I'm going to attempt to bake up our pumpkins and make some homemade pumpkin pie. I have to bake one tonight just to test it out and see how it turns out, I'm a bit nervous but thankfully I have P and the kids to be my lab rats! Oh, and myself too.
So I best get going on that and cleaning.

Hope everyone is doing well out there in cyberspace and will be back in the near future....

I think I'm trying to talk myself into something here

2010-10-29T21:24:00.004-05:00

So, will someone tell me? Where did summer go? Yeah, I'm a little late with that but only because I was in denial. I mean come on, we're still hoping to get in some fishing this weekend.

The winds we had here on Tuesday night, well, I'm really shocked our house is still standing and our favorite tree is too! Man, was that something never to forget. We did lose our main computer and our brand new Wii to power surges which really sucks but we were very lucky. Some friends of ours had a very large oak fall on their very beautiful house and it did plenty of damage. It saddened me to open up her email and see those photos. I'm just glad they're safe.

I was thinking (scary) on Tuesday night as I stood out on our back deck having a smoke, trying to escape the lashing of debris flying through the air. As I stood there listening to the howling and crackling of the trees in the woods, our roof panels flapping, and the low drone of the angry wind I began to think that we're in for one heck of a winter.

I'm probably wrong, I hope, but it was that wind. Because it seemed like 90% of our days were windy this summer it got me to thinking that we could have a bitter cold and windy winter. I really hope I'm wrong about that, I'm no weatherman, I'm just a woman who thinks her gut instincts are always right. ;o)

P and I like to predict things like this, it's kind of become a thing with us since we moved out here. Our most popular 'competition' is fall colors and whether they'll 'pop' or be drab. P guessed right this year--the colors were really dull and rusty which is too bad because it's so beautiful out here in the fall. It wasn't terrible. But the best place to see bright colors was deep in the woods standing under the trees buried in all the rust. And P was nice enough to take me on a walk for our anniversary so I got to see a few.

Looking around now at all the empty trees, the dried up or plowed corn fields nearly brings tears to my eyes for some reason. Each year it gets more difficult to watch the beautiful weather pass right by us. Life stands still for no one.

While winter is one of the most peaceful and more beautiful times of year, it's probably one of the hardest seasons for me to grab a hold of. Most likely because we don't do anything all winter but hibernate and leave the house as little as humanly possible..

But, I am not opposed to stepping out on our deck with a steaming cup of coffee and taking in a deep smell and allowing that shiver to just leave for some moments while I listen and look around at the pristine white fluff that surrounds us. The dead sound of life because the snow provides a sound barrier of all the noise. The feel of those cold winter fingers on my cheeks as I feel the warm coffee make it's way into my stomach. Yeah, winter is ok...beautiful as all get out, fun when we get out in the yard for a quick slide down the hill or a sneaky-snowball thrown at someone. I am not a huge fan of the cold but I remind myself that I need to look around me....and see what I would be missing if I spent all my time wallowing about it. Nope, not my style...bring it on cuz now I've given myself a pep talk! hehe

"HOLY CRAP! IT'S A HUGE PIKE!!!!"

2010-10-24T19:12:00.003-05:00

One of the last fishing trips of the season and I have to say probably one of thee most rewarding and memorable!

Our boy is obsessed with northern fishing and has been riding us all season about how we never fish for northern. Many times he would be very upset with us and wouldn't hesitate to let us know how he felt. P and I love to bass fish as everyone knows.

So...

Casting our usual bass rigs, shivering barely able to feel our fingers, and damp from the constant light drizzle all of us were becoming pretty discouraged. The bass were spotty and in 2 hours we'd only caught maybe three total. Our boy wanted to go to a specific spot so P obliged and we sat. Our boy was reeling in his green worm bass bait and something jumped at it and scared the living crap out of us....we laughed and talked about how we just hate when that happens.

The lad casted into the lily pads and we all sat fishing like we always do. Next thing I know, I hear P say..."Hey B, something just swiped at your bait, I bet you have something on there." B pulled a bit and WHAM...his line started tracking to the right at break-neck speed and the fight was on. We all thought he'd lost this mystery fish that wasn't fighting like a normal bass. I saw how quickly the line was tracking back and forth and gut instinct told me to grab the net.

Upon getting the fish closer to the boat, we were all curious, I had already set my pole down so I could net whatever it was and our son caught a glimpse and P and I hear, "HOLY CRAP! IT'S A HUGE PIKE!!!"

The relief washed over me as I realized our boy had FINALLY caught a fish that he's been trying so hard to catch and when I say he tried...I mean he really tried to the point of tears of frustration.

As I prepared to get the net into the water I caught a glimpse of this pig! OMG was all I could think and immediately started worrying that I wouldn't be able to get it in the net because northerns are notorious for making a run for it when they get close to the boat.

Thankfully, this northern was worn out but that didn't matter. I put the net in and it kept twisting like a crocodile death spin and it got wrapped in the net...thinking I could lift it with one hand I was surprised when the weight of it nearly pulled the net out of my hand. Not to mention, cold wet hands don't exactly make it easy. I yelled to P that I needed his help but there wasn't any time for him to get there.

God, if I lost this fish, I would have been crushed! I realized, as I heard people from another boat yelling that we better get that thing landed, that it was up to me. I had to get that net situated and that fish in there or my son would have been just devastated! So, I twisted around, struggled to get that net in both hands and proceeded to scoop that pig northern out of the water!

This fish was 10 1/2 lbs of fish meat and nearly as long as our boy! Our boy is one hell of a fisherman and has a knack for landing those fish that anyone else would probably lose. For an 11-year old child and a small one at that, P and I couldn't have felt more pride than we did today. I mean really, look at this fish!

So, our son's season is probably over now. He's overjoyed and elated with every last fish he caught but this one definitely takes the prize for the catch of the season!

The fence

2010-10-21T17:27:00.004-05:00

How is it that people want their cake and to eat it too? Kicking and screaming adults are thee worst things to witness and I've seen plenty of that in an area that I have grown to dislike very much.

When people want something they jump in with both feet and grab it. But then, when the consequences of that thing they wanted SO badly turn sour, those people are the first to scream FOUL!

Fingers start to extend, hateful words start to spew, animosity grows and there seems to be a mini-war that erupts and all of it directed at another who didn't want what those people wanted in the first place. And why?

Well, that other side of the fence didn't want it because they knew the consequences. They screamed it to the roof tops and spread warnings everywhere. But it fell on many deaf ears.

Now, those who wanted their cake are pissed off and screaming foul because they don't like the consequences and it's all the other side of the fences fault. Tell me how that works?

Photo from Sean's Horse Farm and Family Blog

This blog-o-mine

2010-10-19T09:04:00.005-05:00

Before I get started on a big cleaning job that's been calling my name for months, I thought I would post a blip on this page to keep up with my routine.

When I started this blog, it was because of Teri Shiavo. I believe that was roughly five years ago. My blog has been many things to me; a political rant, a rant about irresponsible people and the suffering of children in the hands of said people, teachers who molest students and many other things.

It's those many other things I've written that I cherish the most though. Memories of my childhood, creative stories--one of which once won me a beautiful piece of art work, moments of letting out grief and pain, memories of my children and my marriage, vacations, and so much more.

I've been attacked by malicious words, been defended by some really great friends, my words have been twisted into something horrible and used against me by those who think they know me but I learn they don't...I've been complimented for my writing, insulted for my judgmental accusations of people who in my eyes, do horrible things. I've been an open book.

So much is documented in these blogs. I wonder often if people who blog realize that they are creating history, creating memories for their loved ones to look back on. Personally, I think that is one of the greatest gifts to give to another.

I believe in the power of words; I have it stated on my blog "my thoughts, my feelings, my words, I own them". Words can hurt, words can make someone overjoyed, words can seal a deal, words reveal things, words can destroy...they can do just about anything we want and allow them to do. And mine are here...not in some notebook stashed away in the garage being used as mouse beds.

Writing was something I did a lot of as a young girl...I have notebooks upon notebooks full of pretty dark poems and thoughts...the thoughts of a messed up teenager who was very lost. There are also poems of love and life but all the same, words that no one has seen or read in years....wow, how technology has changed this world.

I am really glad that P talked me into creating this little niche in the world. We are but a minuscule speck in the ever growing blogosphere but for our kids, our friends and our family who know about these special little glimpses into our lives, these blogs will be a part of history that people will have...glimpses of their lives, glimpses of their memories, and frankly, when I'm old and gray with a crappy memory, it will provide me with a place I can go to refresh the details of my younger days...huh, now that's something I only just thought of.

Anyway...I'm almost up to 25,000 hits on this blog-o-mine and it's been a great ride so far. Thank you to all those who stop on by every once in awhile. It helps keep me motivated to come on back and one day...ONE day I may finish up that France story and get back into my rants...I have much to rant about but unfortunately not a whole lot of time these days....ho hum.

Happy Birthday to our Butterfly

2010-10-07T07:45:00.004-05:00

Once upon a time there were these two very young people who were madly in love. They dated through their high school days, fought, broke up, made up and after three and a half years and graduation decided it was time to get married.

Odds against them, everyone thinking he was a jack ass and she was pregnant, the couple threw caution to the wind, turned their noses up at those nay-sayers and evil doers and tied the knot. Being young and free the two of them could have cared less what everyone else thought--they were in love and wanted to be together for the rest of their lives.

Life was going great, happiness abundant and neither regretted a single moment of the last nearly four years of their life together.

About 3 months after they were wed, she was cleaning up a chicken for dinner. Out of the blue a wave of nausea passed over her and she began to feel faint. Hmmm, maybe it was too much partying or something because after all, out on their own finally, free from the parental restraints, the couple discovered how much fun the other side could have!

Of course she slowed way down on the drinks but after awhile realized that wasn't it. Gagging at the smell of a burger or nearly vomiting while preparing noodles...ohoh...Pregnant? No, not that, she wasn't ready for that, not until they were 25...they had just talked about that!

Here she was, 20 years old, still enjoying life and settled with the idea that life was going to be an over indulgence of parties, late nights, and fun with her husband and friends....and mostly, still just a child herself, how would she ever mother an infant when she barely knew how to mother herself....

She took a pregnancy test while out of state with her husband and walked out of the bathroom in shock with a feeling of excitement mixed with fear and sadness. Yes, it was pink. A baby, omg, how were they ever going to do it?

Needless to say, the pregnancy was bliss. The girl seemed to snap overnight into a mom eating healthy, sleeping eight hours every night, the drinking and partying weren't even a thought. Her belly grew and she worried so much how her poor cats were going to feel when a new little human entered their home.

Oh and this little bundle of joy was due on their one year anniversary...what luck. Neither he or she wanted that as they had heard how that throws such a wrench into things in some respects. But, their anniversary came and went...and the next day, and the next day and the next day...the girl was getting impatient now. And finally, 6 days overdue....

The day came...it was duck opener. The expectant mother awoke to some awful pains at about 4:30am...just about the time her husband was due to wake up to go 'kill them some dinner'. Oh, the pains hurt so bad but as labor goes, the girl wanted to make real sure it wasn't false so she turned off her husband's alarm and let him know that his plans may have to change, took a warm shower to ease the pain, which incidentally never subsided but got worse. She was pretty certain it was time...

They headed to the hospital around 7:30am....she was terrified because she's never been great with pain and that pain...oh my. Upon arrival she was informed that she was in fact in labor, things were moving along nicely and all they had to do was wait for that moment..

That moment came at about 8:20am...time to see what little creature was brewing inside of her....and by 8:40 they met their first born baby girl. The girl's husband said, "What do we do now?" as she held that little peanut and looked in awe and she could only say "I don't know".

Today is that little peanut's twenty first birthday. She's such a beautiful butterfly...my butterfly. She's full of life and spirit, strong, and a girl who will whisk into any room and liven it up. She's got thee most beautiful blue eyes and a heart bigger than I thought was possible. And she's a mother and a wife herself...many times I look at her and relate so closely to her experiences, feelings and parenting. I often wonder if she knows how often I look at her and it's like looking in the mirror of my past.

She's certainly given us our share of worries and gray hairs, tears and joys, but overall...she has taught me how to be a good mom, how to love the future siblings that came along, how to handle good an bad, and mostly how to handle those mistakes I've made as her mom.

That young girl who gave birth to this wonderful human being transformed into who I am today...not because of me but because of the birth of a tiny little girl who changed my life.

I love you more than there are stars in the sky my baby girl. We won't soon forget this milestone year for you! Happy, Happy Birthday Peanut!

To My Best Friend

2010-09-30T14:38:00.003-05:00

My husband is such a jerk! He never takes me out, he never does anything around the house, he's lazy, he treats me like a slave, he won't get off his ass and get a job, he doesn't help with the kids, he's always out with his friends....wow.

These are some of the things I've heard or read over the years from women about their men. And how depressing it is to sit there listening to this. In fact, a guilt washes over me because I cannot relate to this and I really don't think I would want to.

Tomorrow, October 1st marks our 22nd anniversary. 22 of the most amazing, sometimes painful, sometimes stressful, sometimes frustrating years of my life! The countless laughs and jokes each year, the hugs, and the many shared words and conversations. The tears and frustrations, all the apologies for our shortcomings and most importantly, the countless times each of us has told the other 'I love you'.

Compromising during disagreements, fishing together, walking together, making decisions about our life and kids together, working side by side cleaning the house so we can sit down and relax, wanting the best for each other and our children, sharing the love of a good book or movie and the disgust at how dumb a movie is, riding in the car rocking out to music or laughing so hard because one of us will say something completely unexpected.

I could never be that woman who talks in such a negative manner about the man I chose to be my life long partner. My partner to me means sharing the burden, sharing the frustrations, sharing the pains, sharing the joys, sharing the accomplishments, sharing the responsibility of the problems that may come and doing all of it together.

I chose wisely the man I wanted to be with. I chose wisely the kind of wife I wanted to be to the man I married. I could be a holy hell bitch, I could be a nag, I could be whatever I choose...but in the end, I choose exactly who I am with exactly the one person who compliments me in more than just words. Him and I are an us, we are one in the same with our own individual characters and many different beliefs.

22-years with the same guy and it seems like we just met. The spark is still there, the joy of seeing each other is still there, the excitement of a phone call or coming home to each others open arms is there each day, the need to be held when things are difficult, to be comforted by those familiar arms and tender words when life is so overwhelming.

I'm one lucky woman to have found a man who isn't a jerk, who would do anything for me, who takes me out on dates, who tells me how beautiful I am, who works his butt off both at home and out in the world, who adores his kids, and who would most of the time rather be with me than out with his buds. There's no greater feeling than to wake up each day next to someone who cherishes you and adores you more than life itself. And with it all I cannot tell you how awesome the feeling is to know that I married the bestest friend a girl could ever ask for!

Happy Anniversary P!

Happy B-Day to my One and Only

2010-09-20T11:03:00.003-05:00

Just a quick post to wish my wonderful husband a very happy birthday today! He's the rock of this family, the strength when we need it, the softy when we pout and give him those looks. He's a man of jokes and smart-ass comments and at times a serious and that ged-der-done type of person.

Not sure where I would be without him and his undying love he gives to me. I only know that he is the love of my life, my reason for waking each day, and someone who has never faltered as my friend...

Happy Birthday P...I look so forward to spending many, many more with you!

Live for the moment

2010-09-17T21:37:00.005-05:00

Life has really thrown my family some curve balls over the years. Some things have made us stronger and wiser while others have left us weak with exhaustion.

In the midst of all of this we've experienced deep pain or absolute joy, shock and awe or body trembles from near nervous breakdowns. Non-stop crying, relief, years of pain...it's all been there.

I couldn't have come to this point without the one person who has made so many of these times bearable with just a hug or 'it's all going to be ok, hun'. Yes, my husband of nearly 22 years...just another mushy post about what a great man I have chosen to grow old with.

Our road is not yet over, many bumps lie ahead. I believe the choice I made when I was just 16 was the best decision I've ever made in this life...to give my heart, mind, and soul to a boy I saw in a classroom and watched with starry eyes as he laughed and talked to the people around his desk. A boy who caught me staring at him and I shyly looked away and blushed.

At this very moment in our life together, it has dawned on me more so these last few days just how lucky I am. I've always felt lucky and blessed to have such a great guy and someone who will drop everything to come to my side when I need him. And I cannot forget to mention, absolutely wonderful children. But I also know that there are times when these things are taken for granted or overlooked due to busy days and busy lives. But today a reality check has come to visit and given me a gentle reminder....

Love those you love with everything you are; tell them you love them and hold them tight. Yesterday is gone and all that remain are the memories, today is now and a moment in time to give of yourself to those who matter most to you, tomorrow is only tomorrow and never promised to anyone. Live in the moment, inhale those moments; it is those moments that will remain with you with each 'today' you wake to see.

Yeah, still procrastinating..

2010-09-13T18:59:00.003-05:00

I know I said I was going to do homework but forgot to post about something I am just completely flabbergasted about:

Woman Has World's Largest Breast Implants Removed

This is very confusing to me, but then again, it doesn't take much to confuse me. But seriously, WHY??? Why would a woman do this to herself and to the point of life threatening illness?

Personally I wouldn't alter my own body not only because its expensive but if it's not a medical necessity I believe in accepting what has been given to me and to live with it. But that's really beside the point. This woman said she's 'addicted' to this? If I can't see my own feet I think I might start to think there was an issue with myself. If I had to get my shirts and bras special ordered to accommodate my drastically unnaturally growing chest I might think something wasn't right. I mean, imagine how much a bra would cost? They're already expensive enough but for a 38KKK????

And upon a bit of research it seems this is not an isolated procedure but what seems to be some kind of a contest for the Guinness Book? It's really very interesting what lengths people will go to just to make a name for themselves...sad too!

Just ho-humming a bit

2010-09-13T16:51:00.002-05:00

It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks winding down from much needed vacations, kids starting school, I decided to pick up a few hours at the local Chinese Restaurant, dentist appointments, vet appointments, soccer parties, homework from hell, and tennis. Good grief, when it rains it pours!

9/11 has been and gone but the sorrow of that day 9 years ago struck me the same as it usually does, we squeezed in some more fishing, a drink, a movie, and some relaxation. It seems like we are constantly on the go but when the week is over, in reflection of that week it's nice to think about those moments that we had to ourselves and as a family. It's comforting to realize that amidst the chaos, there are those in my life that make all the busy seem less so with their laughter, jokes, and conversation.

It's really nice to have the kids back in school. The fighting was getting to be too much and I think the change is good for them. Our boy started his first year of middle school this year and that's been a tough adjustment for him and for P and I. No more elementary kids...that is a tough pill to swallow on some days. But our boy is thriving and just as nonchalant about it as he was about his elementary days. Lets hope it continues.

Our daughter is a sophomore and I've already seen some changes in her maturity and responsibility level in the last week. It's amazing and very intriguing to watch our once helpless little children grow each day. And with each one comes a new educational experience as a parent. I will miss those days but feel comfort knowing that our kids will always be here...our older two are either always texting or calling for something, or stopping over for a visit which many times turns into an overnight. They may leave the nest but they never leave their family.

P and I got to enjoy our first official day of his four day weeks without the kids and it was so, so, so, so, wonderful. QUIET! He's been working four day weeks for awhile but with summer break its just been extended weekends of overseeing the fights with the kids, running them places, and loud. We love our kids and relish in the moments we have with them but MAN, having these Monday's together is going to be like a mini-vacation where him and I can do whatever we would like with no worries. We've been talking all day about the things we would like to do on our 'days off' from going out to lunch for a beer and pizza to heading to the cities for a day of who knows what. Just alone time. I'm thinking his four day weeks took on a whole new concept after today!

Now, its time for football season and for me to hole up in the bedroom, watch Lifetime, and do homework. **SIGH** Football and hockey, hockey and football. I'm so glad those two sports are the only ones my hubby cares to indulge in. If he liked baseball or basketball I might have to put the brakes on and scream!

I think it's time to get cracking on my homework now. Lots to do if I want to get it done by Wednesday....and next week is my final so yeah, I better stop procrastinating and get studying!

The great north woods; nothing better!

2010-09-02T19:12:00.008-05:00

Ahhhh, a nice relaxing weekend spent deep in the northern part of Minnesota! What more could we ask for? More smallies like the one I'm holding would have been perfect but the fishing..as I've said before has been pretty spotty this summer.

This little fella weighed three lbs. I caught a couple of two pounders, and some other small ones. I chuckle when I see this pic only because I have such a goofy look...what is that? But then I hate pics.

Oh my handsome hubby didn't have nearly the luck I was having with the smallies. He caught a few two pounders but by our last day he was pretty disappointed; after all, the lake we were on is a trophy small mouth lake =( .

On our last morning we wanted to use up the rest of the minnows before we headed out in hopes we would catch one last fish for the road. I caught another small mouth weighing in at about two pounds. Pat on the other hand had his rod on the dock and was doing something and his rod started to take off....he had no idea his bobber had disappeared. After what he thought was a fight with a small mouth, to his surprise this long northern saw him on that dock and took off! It gave him a great fight while I was running all over trying to get a net. We didn't have any of our tackle or anything so we estimated this snake weighed upwards of 4 1/2 lbs. And look at that little shit eater on his face! He's smirking not only because of the catch but also because he got to show it off to three very awe struck little boys who were aspiring fisherman!

It was a really fantastic weekend. We went camping. The drive took us seven hours on the way up and it went along the North Shore for most of it. Him and I were both so anxious to get out of here that we did something that we haven't done since we were amateur campers. Forgot a TON of things. Pillows, chairs, and even worse, the bag with all our shower stuff! There were a few other minor things but nothing as valuable as those things we forgot!

We had to make four or five stops on the way up just to shop! Of course we wanted to give the truck a rest but at least two of those stops could have been avoided....we laughed and chalked it up to being so excited to fish and camp and just to get away together!

On the last leg of the journey we turned off the main road onto the Gunflint Trail. Upon seeing the scenery and oohing and ahhing over the amazing beauty, a couple of little fox scurrying down the side of the road, I stopped and thought for a moment. Bears, moose oh my. I looked at Pat and said, "Lets turn around now!" Of course I was kidding but neither of us had ever camped so deep in the woods before. Of course he was telling me the moose were worse than the bear...nervous ninny kicking in I had five minutes of regret for the choice of destination! But man, it was just too pretty to worry about all that!

We set up camp like we had done it just yesterday. It was getting dark by the time we got there so that was a challenge. We were both starving, frustrated that it was getting dark so soon, we still wanted to get the boat in the water, and exhausted from the long drive. But when it was all done, we ate, sat and had a beer and then attempted to find our way around the very dark campground. We found the bathroom and I forgot to mention we grabbed our fishing poles because we wanted to fish off the dock since it was too dark to go explore in the boat.

The act of fishing was my only reason for fishing...put a pole in my hands, a beer at my side and a dock to sit on and I find myself in a place I found great comfort in as a child. Never did I expect to catch anything. Well, I did but was so shocked at the fight of that pig that I barely set the hook and when I got it to the dock, I was afraid to pull it out of the water. I must confess, I've always, always had a quirk about fishing at night. Anyway, just when I was mustering the nerve to pull this unfamiliar fish from the water it shook the hook and escaped. I was secretly relieved which I later admitted to Pat but that was the first official small mouth bass of the weekend. It was probably two to three lbs but I will never know for certain. Over the weekend I soon got over that quirk after catching a couple more at night.

There definitely is something to be said for the fight a smallmouth bass puts up! It's every fisherman's dream. A two pounder fights as great as a five pound large mouth and the smallies are a much denser fish and well? I certainly would love it if we could find some more of those little monsters!!! They were a fun fish to fight!

It was tough to leave that last day. Thankfully the weather sucked where we were at..windy, raining off and on. The temp was ok but cloudy and icky always makes it so much easier to come home. Although after we got in Duluth, the weather was worse. It was 89 degrees in Duluth--unheard of! It was miserable! But with two hours left before we got home, the temps barely mattered. The time spent at a beautiful place with a great husband is more than I could have ever asked for!

A big THANK YOU to our friends T and J for introducing us to this place! The dock is the place!!!!!! lol

Memories being made more and more

2010-08-21T20:22:00.004-05:00

Where did the week go?! Neither P or I can get our mind around that one. Yep, we're home already but it seems like just yesterday I was so stressed out and frantically trying to get everything done!

Ho hum.

Well, we did actually have a beautiful week. We had a couple days of on and off rain with last evening being one of those torrential downpours that we've seen so much of over the last month. However, the one day it rained we went on a road trip and trekked around a small quaint little tourist town and window shopped under the awnings as the sprinkles came down..we got our morning and evening fishing in as well as one hell of a night of partying with the neighbors and a night none of us will ever forget!

Last night, well, we finished up with dinner two hours earlier than usual for the week and were all going to head out for our last evening of fishing...as soon as we got all the food and stuff cleaned up down came the rain. There were distant rumblings but this rainfall was spectacular. All the kids at the resort were running in the mud puddles, the older ones jumped in the lake and the neighbor and myself went fishing as the rain hindered our view five feet in front of us. Needless to say, my raincoat couldn't withstand the force of that rain and I ended up standing in the rain fishing. And for what? Nothing! Raindrops on the end of my pole and drowning my bobber. It was sooooo worth it!

The rest of the week we had windy days with sun on and off and capri and t-shirt weather. I cannot complain considering the weather we had the week before.

Now fishing was less than wonderful. Our neighbors are a big group consisting of five adults and six kids...last year they went home with sinful amounts of northern while we were catching bass and learning a new fishing technique. This year...hmmm. The fish either died in a freeze over the winter, they were hiding or they shrunk. Oh, we caught fish...a few two pound bass, some northern over two pounds, and P even caught some crappie. P also caught a 4 1/2 pound bass, I caught a 3 1/2 pounder and a three pounder...but other than those, the bass were not much bigger than a pound or two. Our neighbors couldn't bring in much more than tiny little bass and northern all darn week! Fishing has been pretty spotty this season. We're really hoping next year will bring back some of those lunkers. Although...

Our 11-year old boy. Man is that kid a fisherman or what?!!!!! This child LOVES northern fishing. I cannot stress the word 'LOVES' enough! He lives to catch one of those pigs. Remember last year he caught the 5 1/2 pounder? Well, I have a tale or two for you!

The first morning we took him out with us he was complaining because P and I were bass fishing. He wanted to northern fish! We told him he could do just that on the other side of the boat where the water was deeper. He wasn't convinced....he thinks we have to fish in 20-feet of water to find those things. Remember too, last year he caught his biggest fish off the dock....

Ok, so, finally he decided to put on a lure that P and I originally used to bass fish with a couple years ago and quickly discovered it not only caught bass but northern as well. He tossed it out for about 30-minutes or so and got hit. Lets just say he pulled in a lunker--a five pound northern that put up one hell of a fight.

If that wasn't enough, then second day there he threw a sucker minnow on his ultra light pole and casted off the end of the dock. P and I were sitting on the other dock this time when we hear him say, "Oh crap!!!" and he came running to the dock, picked up his pole and his ultra light was bent all the way to the handle. He pulled and fought and we quick stepped it to his dock as we heard the neighbors and the other boys ooohing and awwwing over the size of this northern on the end of our son's line.

The younger boys were instructed to quickly get a net which they did. They scooped up what seemed like an endless length of northern flesh and oh shit, it quickly slid out a hole that was created by the northerns weight. At this point, P quickly jumped in our boat as we all anticipated this thing shaking the hook and swimming to his home chuckling at the circus us humans were putting on. My bubble was beginning to burst when that fish fell back in the water thinking it would wriggle it's way out of this situation it got itself into! Northerns are notorious for wrapping around anchor ropes and dock posts and whatever other obstruction they can find and quickly shaking that hook out! Doggonit was all I could think!

So P searched for this thing after he grabbed the net and it was heading underneath our boat and in my mind the idea of actually getting a good look at this fish was fading.....Then I heard, "there it is! it's under the dock, hurry up, hurry up, scoop it up!!!!" That net was in the water like lightening and P successfully hoisted that pig out of the water!

Seven pounds and 32-inches of succulent meat waiting to be cleaned and frozen for a nice sit down dinner! Yes, our boy caught a seven pound northern off the end of the dock. The best part? He put his pole down to mess around with his buddy. He had no idea there was even anything messing with his minnow...just suddenly heard his pole moving and caught it in time to land what became not only the biggest catch of our vacation but also the largest fish anyone in our family has caught so far. He beat his father's record of a 6 1/2 pound bass. Now the two squabble over the species and who has the biggest in each species but for our boy and myself? Rubbing in the words 'seven pounds' brings huge shit eaters to our faces and we snicker each time we remind P that he's not in the lead anymore!

I think the most surprising and exciting event of the week was our 15-year old daughter. She HATES to fish..she won't even touch a plastic worm! We did however get her to come out in the boat with us a couple times. This of course was only because P and I promised she wouldn't have to touch anything...she only had to fish!

She casted her cute little pink Rapala for a bit but was seeing no action while P and I were getting hits and catching fish so she decided to fish like us. Using those worms with a Texas rig she began to feel the twitches..she would give the tiniest squeal of excitement with each twitch...and then she got hit hard. Her squeals quickly turned to nervous excitement.

She was dragged into the lily pads on the first one and lost the fish. After we got her casted back in the same spot she was hit again. I was sitting next to her and each time she got caught up in the lily pads I would yank on her line so she was sure to keep that fish on the hook...in the process I wound up breaking the tip of the pole but I didn't care! I wanted her to catch that fish SO bad! And she did! It was a two pound bass and she was as proud of that thing as a six year old child on Christmas morning! The pole I broke just happened to be my second pole for spinner baits but I still don't care that it broke! The joy in seeing our daughter get so excited was worth more than any old pole that can be replaced!

Our vacation for next year is scheduled and again coincides with our neighbors trip. The kids have friends that go there as do P and I and they are a great group of people! We're all looking very forward to next year's trip; hopeful that the fishing will be better but more hopeful for good fun and good friends! It's really different to go to a resort and be greeted with hugs and hand shakes and people so genuinely happy to see us. While it was very hard to say good bye to everyone, the knowledge that we'll all stay connected throughout the next year leaves us all feeling that we're creating some really great moments in our history. Here's to some really wonderful memories being made in each of our lives!

One for the road!

2010-08-12T11:35:00.003-05:00

Why is the week before a vacation always so stressful?

P is bogged down at work and anxious to get the hell out of here. I'm cramming in two weeks worth of homework amounting to two 30+ problem assignments, a quiz, research of historical mathematicians, 4 other assignments, over 190 other math problems, and participation in my discussion forum that's required. That's why! Oh, and after I write this and finish up the very last two assignments for this week and next week, I have to start with the laundry, cleaning the house, making grocery lists, go shopping, packing, and at the end of all of that collapsing! It's a good week! That's what I have to keep telling myself...

I've wanted to put up a post all week but have literally been buried in homework since Sunday and since Sunday I haven't gotten to bed before 3:00am. I'm a bit exhausted but the excitement is kicking in and nixing all that fru-fru stuff!

I'm happy to say that I'm very close to done and looking so forward to just enjoying my computer with the background noise of the washing machine and dishwasher! Of course that will be short lived because I'll have to pack and make sure the kids have everything and that my shopping list includes all that we'll need so we don't have to run to the store every other day.

I looked at the weather this morning for the place we're going and have to say, we might have ourselves one hell of a beautiful week minus one day. Temps will be in the 70's and the sun is shining in those little animated pictures. If we have beautiful weather I will have to screech like a hoot owl because that would mean three years in a row! What more could we hope for!

Right now the anticipation is just killing us. Normally our weeks just fly by but this one is going at a slower pace it seems. I guess in one sense I'm relieved for that because it gives both P and I the time to get our work done but man...get here already Saturday!

Ok, I'm procrastinating. I have to finish my homework so I can do other work tomorrow......and there will be lots of it I'm sure! Hope everyone has a great week!

Can't wipe this smile off my face!

2010-08-02T21:44:00.004-05:00

Family vacation is looming and that camping trip I was hoping we'd find time to do is not far behind that! I am so excited as is P....Both trips will be filled with fishing and relaxation. No words I tell ya!

The excitement of our family vacation hasn't been there this year...not until last week when I looked at the calendar and realized that it's only a couple weeks away! Now that's all P and I and the kids talk about......it's like a kid on Christmas Eve too antsy to go to bed.

We had an absolutely great weekend...I had the opportunity to FINALLY sit down with my hubby and kids and watch a few movies and actually watch without peering around my computer screen. That was weird! We took the kids to the county fair for a few hours, P and I got to shore fish a couple days, our boy came with us on one of those trips, P and I had a date on Saturday night, and I also found some time to take the kids to the local zoo thing..not sure really what that place is but do know we always have a lot of fun when we go there. I can really get used to this one class thing in a hurry! I can have a life with my family.

They've been so good to me and so patient with my devotion to my schooling and it shows in my grades.....I'm one hell of a lucky woman to have the support of a great husband and exceptional kids. It wears on all of us every once in awhile but overall, we help each other through it and the road is less bumpy.

Soccer season is over now. The boys won their last game and it was a great win. 2-1 but it wasn't enough for them to get to the State Championship. It was a great way to end their season. Next year won't be so great because with their great season this year the boys will be bumped up to the next level which means tougher teams and tougher games. I'm excited for next year already.

Now, we prepare for our trips. The best part of our week long family vacation is there will be families there that were there last year. Our kids made some really good friends last year--the families that caught a gazillion northerns! Those families are returning this year and we all coordinated our vacation so we'd be there together again. The kids are so ready to go. P and I have been ready since we left last year. It's kind of nice to have a familiar place to go to each year.

Then, P and I are heading to the great north woods for a weekend of camping, fishing and hiking. OMG, we haven't been camping since...oh about four years or so? There's a post somewhere buried in my archives about our last trip..the only difference with this one is it's just P and I going. Him and I haven't been camping alone since shortly after we got married over 21 years ago! We're bringing the boat, bought a new back pack today for hiking and are even talking about canoeing/portaging into the BWCA. Not sure that will happen but we'll see, it's so beautiful. It's going to be a great adventure and I couldn't think of a better person to do that with! Would love to see--from a distance of course--a moose or a bear. Our friends were fortunate enough to see a wolf! Perhaps I should leave some food outside the tent! NOT!!!!

Now it's time to do my algebra homework and relax in this beastly heat! Hope everyone stays cool......

For those football fans, it seems the follies are starting again with the whole Fav-ra thing--I'm retiring, I'm not, I'm retiring, I'm not.....as P mentioned to me the other day, if the guy doesn't want to attend training camp he should just friggen say so! I guess we'll see when this season's roller coaster ride is over. Have a fabulous day everyone!

Summer Sadness

2010-07-21T10:43:00.002-05:00

Sitting here waiting for my hubby to call trying to decide what to do today. It's an absolutely stunning day outside, I have homework looming, or I have one other thing I should do but the one that seems most appealing is sitting on the lake shore, holding my Avid Pearl, and basking in the sun. Ahhh, the days of summer are passing by way to quickly.

Our boys soccer team made it to state! I couldn't be more excited about that but the location of the tournament is less than exciting! We have done more traveling this soccer season for our one boy then it seems we've done in the past for the girls. I would venture a guess of nearly 1000 miles? That's just a guess but all the same..one way to the central location for one place is over 50 miles...other times we've put on nearly 200 miles both ways for a couple of the other games and if the boys win two of the state games we'll have a third to attend and we'll have to travel over 420 miles alone just for state. Wow! That's more miles than my hubby puts on his car going to and from work in a month!

But ya know, once we're at the games and things get rolling--no pun intended--the dread of the drive is gone! The anticipated excitement, the heart palpitations that occur with a close shot on net or a child getting hurt, the thrill of a win and seeing the players jump up and down when a goal is scored; all of that is so worth it!

The end of soccer season usually means the end of summer is near. That's such a sad thought. There is not enough time in summer. I love to listen to the birds sing and watch them taunt our cat in the driveway. I love sitting outside and feeling the warm breeze on my face as the sun warms my skin. I love the smell of a boat motor and the wake it leaves on a calm lake; the croaking of the frogs in the reeds or the cranes flying over the lake as they startle the fish that jump out of the water; the eagles that soar over our head so gracefully and the sound of them screeching at those tiny little birds that tease them and chase them....and the tug of the fishing line as a fish lunges as the bait and soon flies out of the water to reveal itself. A good storm isn't far off my list of favorites.

Oh the sadness that's creeping up on me as yet another wonderful summer comes closer to winter. I really hope P and I can find some time to go do a camping trip before the warmth is gone. We haven't camped in an actual tent in years and camping was one of those things we did nearly every year for many years. Camp fires, bugs on our food, rain in our tent, water in our spaghetti, critters scaring the crap out of me--LOL!

Ok, enough. I must get on with the day and stop reminiscing and dreading something that's still a ways away! Today it's summer, today it's beautiful out, and today, I'm taking my boy fishing before we do anything else! Have a great day everyone!

Feeling some vindication this morning....

2010-07-16T07:58:00.003-05:00

My, my, my....I can almost taste it! Only one more week left of these classes and I can finally say, "Wooooosaaaah!" There are some really combative people in my philosophy class that seem to want nothing more than to attack others for things they write and opinions they have. It's got me in a snit this morning.

I find it really amazing how 'open-minded' and diverse people say they are yet they seem to be the most judgmental of the bunch. They are quick to throw daggers, accusations and assumptions around about others they don't know anything about. They find ways to twist innocent statements into something completely ugly and reprehensible. Honestly, who are these people?

Yes, I've been getting attacked all week in my philosophy class for a single statement. This statement was in fact a lead-in to the actual question the instructor asked. I read the thread to P last night and he was appalled at what these two people were saying but the worst part? I wasn't pointing out anything more than an example....

Here is the statement that is causing all this shock and awe in my classroom with two of the other students: "A lot of horrible things have happened in history, especially to African Americans". From this ONE statement I've been accused of saying African Americans were treated the poorest, have been told the Jewish people were treated the worst because of hair color, have been told that it's wrong that I don't look at those others who were treated so poorly and also that I need to pay better attention to those in other countries that are starving. Just WOW!

Perhaps saying 'especially' could have been eliminated but all the same, the philosophers we're discussing are those who fought for the equal rights of blacks. I was simply using an example from the textbook we were reading from...I apologized and was once again chastised for my 'ignorance'.

Since when is it a contest who was treated the worst in history? Or even today? To me it was all horrible and in some instances I flinch a bit more with different things I hear about any given instance....the bottom line is it was all frigging wrong in my eyes; perhaps the African Americans are more prominent in my mind today because it wasn't so long ago that there were some changes made.

However, after watching to see if my instructor was going to reprimand my response to these two last night, I emailed P a big 'WAAAAHBAMMMM!' because she backed up my statement and gave me credit for my response. Yea, that sounds terrible but after 7 weeks of being nice to people and sucking it up for the sake of a peaceful tone in this class, I've had enough of those who find some sick and twisted satisfaction out of going after others from their high and mighty pedestals....enough already people!

Some eerily gentle relief and normalcy!

2010-07-12T11:09:00.004-05:00

It's a new week and things are beginning to feel a bit more normal. P's mom is home now and seems to be doing really well. Her excitement and relief when I spoke with her on the phone the day she was leaving the transitional facility was so refreshing! All I can say is while in the midst of something like that life seems to be so dark and morbid! Thank you to everyone who called and emailed their support--it meant the world to us.

Now, after what was an amazing weekend with my husband and our kids, it's time to start the week and look forward to the last two weeks of these classes that have been stressing me out beyond belief! They're going to be two hellish weeks but the last two all the same. Philosophy and Algorithms....what a combination and a mind change I've been required to have. After next week I am cutting back to one class per block for a couple months just to catch my breath and get a perspective on life again. School has definitely been consuming but also a reprieve in some respects.

We have our annual vacation coming up in a few weeks! Cannot wait for that...we're heading back to the same place we've gone for the last two years. I think we've found a 'home'. LOL Before that happens though we're preparing for what we hope to be a good week of soccer for the boys. Districts is on Thursday and if they win, they get to go to State. I so hope they pull it together and win like they've been doing all season. I would love to see our boy make it to State!

Our youngest daughter will be turning 15 next Monday...god, how time flies. I still look at her and see a 10-year old little girl. She's growing up too fast and seems to think that she's 18. Ahhh, life with teenage girls. I have to say I'm looking very forward to the end of that. It's been a tough road with three girls. Girls are much easier when they are in their 'princess' years and sweet...once they hit the golden age of 13 a parent wonders what happened to their sweet little girl who was all about being just like mommy and being daddy's little girl! Make-up, drama, boyfriends, attitude..oh my! But, on the other side of that blossoms this beautiful woman who adores her parents, loves her daddy beyond belief and takes no grief from anyone.

The years of butting heads with us as their parents are certainly trying but the end result is so worth it all. Right now, with our youngest girl, I stress, worry, get angry and frustrated but keep telling myself that once she's over that mountain she is going to be one hell of a tough girl....she is definitely our most trying daughter with a mix of the older two....amazing how we were prepared for this one.

Our boy is just now starting to hit those defiant days...I often ask myself if I have the strength and energy to withstand yet another teenager; but somewhere, somehow that strength and energy magically step up to the plate just when I need them the most.

So for today, life is great again, P and I had a really nice weekend but like usual it was too short. We spent 10 hours in the boat on Saturday and barely caught anything but wind burns and exhaustion from way too much sun. We were fortunate enough to have an early morning mini thunderstorm that amounted to maybe two cracks of thunder, a couple streaks of lightening and this extremely dark, rolling, long, ominous cloud that reminded us both of the Stephen King short story 'The Mist". As both of us looked up at this cloud rolling similar to how a rolling pin would roll, we both expressed how creepy that thing was. What made it even more so was before the cloud got over our head the water was like glass-the second it was roiling straight above us this wicked, cold wind started whipping across the lake.

After it passed, I settled down since I am not a big fan of weather and lakes. The chills stopped emanating up and down my spine..not from cold but from the creep out factor, we moved across the lake to calmer water and looked behind us. The big eerie cloud was dissipating and roiling back up into the sky. The eeriest part of this whole experience was how low this cloud was to the tree tops. P said it looked to be only about 300-ft above our heads. Needless to say, I've only read fictional stories about this sort of thing but never have I been witness to it. It was cool yet freaky and not something I would care to experience...well, maybe I would because it was much more than what I've explained.

The best part of all of this is there wasn't some impending sense of worry or doom in the backs of our minds this weekend. The ability to feel something other than that dreaded fear P and I have been feeling the last couple weeks was a welcome relief...even though I just found some other avenue to steer my worries and fears..it was much different than all that other crap!

Mama T. Update

2010-07-08T10:06:00.002-05:00

Aside from other interesting tidbits seeping into our ears this week some good news was given this morning. Mama T. will be going home today! She's been in transitional care since last Friday and improving everyday!

I have to say Friday was a tough day--P and I brought her there and having to leave her was very difficult. It didn't help that Mama T. thought we were taking her home--the hospital staff left it up to us to break the news about the transitional care facility...nice eh? So that task was left up to P--I could only sit there and painfully watch this whole scenario take place--she looked at me and said, "He's kidding right?" Having to tell her no was difficult but watching P struggle with this was more so. And watching her face fall and her shoulders slump....a day I won't soon forget.

It's been a long week and a half for my hubby who's been juggling work, soccer, fishing, and the whole situation. He's a bit drained in nearly all capacities and sounds so relieved that one thing is going to give. I couldn't be happier about that--it's been hard to watch the roller coaster ride he's been on, the pain he's felt, the anger, and frustration--UGH! He's been telling me over and over how much he appreciates me and all my help with all this stuff but there's still this looming sense of helplessness..

The road is only just beginning. Parents and old age are a tough realization and something most of us think we're ready for but in the end it's really just our mind bluffing us.

I'm so relieved Mama T. is doing so well. This could have been so much worse--the cut on the head is evidence enough that things can happen so quickly. Had she been alone there's no telling what may have been--we just all know that we are glad she wasn't.

So now we have other issues to deal with, and a life to live. One day at a time, one issue at a time.

Happy Birthday America!

2010-07-04T18:20:00.003-05:00

We're taking the weekend to decompress and absorb the last couple weeks events not to mention the upcoming road we will have to travel. P's mom is doing very well...getting ornery which is generally a good sign that some progress is being made.

Yesterday P and I had a very nice afternoon and evening. We decided we were going to follow through with our much needed date night that's been on the calendar for many, many weeks. With all the soccer and other obligations, him and I have had very little time for us...so yes, we got selfish!

We went to the race track and had a very good and nice dinner then watched a few races. We placed only $2 bets on the races with no luck of course. On the final race, I had horses picked out but we opted for the one horse named "Love is Amazing"--this was mostly by P's urging so we put $5 on that one and sat there and watched as my original pick came in first and the one we did pick came in 4th...it was close but the bottom line, "Love is Amazing" reminded P and I that it indeed is amazing.

So, as we were walking out, making a pit stop at the bathroom, the guy came over the loud speaker and said the third place winner from that race was disqualified putting our horse in third...we only bet for the horses to show since we aren't really well versed in this stuff....I came flying out of the bathroom, P was there with an impatient look and I realized I had already tossed our ticket....thankfully I put it in my empty beer cup only a couple minutes before. Not that we won all that much but we certainly won all that we lost minus a dollar...Love sure is Amazing. LOL

We ended the night with a couple drinks at the local bar and came home and collapsed. Today we took the kids to the beach and have our usual night at the fireworks planned. After the beach we've all been just lazing around the house watching movies and doing homework....sure feels good to just relax!

Today is Independence Day...a day to remember our troops and their families and the past that has guaranteed my freedom and yours. Remember to belt out that National Anthem tonight as at some point across the world we all sing this tribute and remember....have a very safe and enjoyable evening..I know we will!

Upbeat exhaustion..I do not recommend it

2010-07-02T21:57:00.004-05:00

It's been an exhausting week and really glad it's Friday. Ma T. is doing exceptionally well but will not be coming home in the near future. Unfortunately standard procedure for head wounds is some therapy and observation for lasting effects. It was a tough day today for all.

P is doing well, worn out and very overwhelmed with the weeks events. He's been pretty tough through all of this but I know he's screaming inside. Breaking points have reared their ugly head in the last couple of days and all I can do is fight my own fears and sadness and remain strong for him and his family. I can't say that I've been batting 1000, quickly wiping tears here and there, ducking out for some quiet thinking while P is busy with his father or mother and collecting myself so I can crack a joke or bring a smile to the faces of those I love so very much. So far I've succeeded and managed to bring a chuckle or a grin to their very sad and stressed faces. Upbeat to a point while maintaining some semblance of seriousness.

We're very grateful for the care that has been given and it has been pretty exceptional so far. We are very confident Ma T. is in good hands but I know how desperate P feels when he cannot be there for every little detail or moment that she may need to just talk to someone.

So tonight we are just taking some time to collect ourselves and find some sort of normalcy but I have to say we are both pretty exhausted and very sick of riding in cars and eating crappy food. We took our son out to Olive Garden for dinner tonight and had quite a few laughs and an enjoyable sit down meal....the first in awhile. Otherwise we've been eating on the run and not very healthy either.

The weekend we are taking day by day...it's a holiday weekend yet neither of us are feeling that lovely holiday spirit...only numbness and exhaustion at what lies ahead for our future. We have a lot of work to do but many days to get through ... here's hoping that tomorrow sees even more improvement for Mama T. If today is any indication of her will and desire to be better we can only hope that she will continue to will herself into perfect health.

Until next time

Please keep my hubby and his family in your prayers

2010-07-01T00:00:00.004-05:00

It's been a rough week. While out on the lake Monday night catching absolutely nothing, P received a call from our daughter that his mom was taken to the ER. She had fallen and cut her head open pretty bad. Bad enough for her to be admitted and to still be hospitalized as I write this.

We went to the hospital the second we got the boat home and wound up spending the night with his father who was just a wreck. Almost like he was in shock at all that was taking place.

Today was the first marked improvement that we have seen. Mama T. was in good spirits, joking around and talkative. The tears have been stubbornly held back by both P and myself but some how they have managed to moisten our eyes more often that not. The week has been rife with worry, frustration, anger, and impatience. HOWEVER....Mama T. is getting better and will hopefully be home within the next couple days.

We haven't been home much, slept much, eaten much, and have had to arrange many schedules and much time in order to be there as much as we can for Mr. T and Mama but there just never seems to be enough time when a person needs it.

Our children have been absolutely golden and have stepped up to help in any way they can. Our oldest spent the night at her grandpas last night, our second oldest has placed herself on-call, and our younger two have been great....our kids are just damn great kids and I couldn't be more grateful for their compassion, love, and ability to understand if their dad or I are stressed out and snapping at them....their ability to put a smile on our faces and help us to keep 'life' in perspective is one of those amazing qualities that I do so adore about our children...and when they can make their dad smile that just melts my heart because they know him so well and they know that he needs them right now.

My poor hubby has brought up my father's ordeal a few times as have I. That underlying fear is there for us both as it is for our kids. I have been pretty numb while at the same time on top of everything I can manage to remember in order to try to help as much as I can. A lot of that numbness is due to a familiar exhaustion that P and I will not soon forget from a couple years ago. He has mentioned it more than I have...the pain this stirs in me when he mentions it is nearly unbearable and terrifying. Not for my loss but for what my loss has created within him. Ugh!

So for now, the recovery seems to be going well...there is much still left to deal with but it's one day at a time. I only ask that prayers are said for my mom-in-law, P, and the rest of his family. I'm pretty sure she'll be just fine but it's like that drop of a pin in a silent room....the reaction to something like this is now something like a person jumping from a very loud firework.

Give me the strength to be there every step of the way for my hubby and his family....thank you for your thoughts and prayers.....

I fear it will only get worse

2010-06-27T21:44:00.005-05:00

Ahhh, soccer season. I've refrained from posting on it because of my superstitious mentality! However, I've waited long enough...

P is coaching our son this year--well, he's an assistant which comes with less responsibility for us and more fun for him. Thank goodness for that! Our daughter decided not to play soccer this year instead focusing on tennis.

His team is 9-1 this season so far, in first place in their division and an absolutely amazing team when they put their minds to it. Our son has scored many goals this season as well as been part of quite a few assists which he is very proud of! He loves to be a team player and give his teammates an opportunity to shine! I have to say that P and I are very proud of his soccer abilities and his willingness to not be a part of that macho 'I'm better than you' attitude. He's a very humble child.

So, the boys have won nine games and most of them blow-outs. They've attended three tournaments this summer but our son only participated in two due to injury.

Our son has had a rough start this season. He began the season with a nagging knee pain that we finally got diagnosed at the doc--Osgood Schlatter's Disease. Nothing serious just something that's actually pretty common in children who are active and something that will go away once his growing stops. We decided to limit his playing on the field for the first few games in hopes that the less he used it and the more he focused on exercising it and icing it the better his knee would get.....and guess what. He's now playing his butt off and running the length of that field like nothing--except he had an asthma attack about a month ago...so he's got exercise induced asthma. He's also gotten kicked in the bad knee and today had a collision with another player and messed up his other knee a bit.

Needless to say mom has had to have superglue on her butt to maintain my composure and place on the opposite sideline when my child is writhing in pain across the field. Today though I said 'forget the composure!' I went over to their sideline and did my job...took care of my boy! I'd had enough! For reasons other than the injuries though....it's been a rough season on my sideline and it takes every fiber of my being not to get up and punch someone! And today, well, I just had enough and decided I had heard enough and began to speak my peace.....lets just say I would LOVE to see these parents get their butts out on that field and play picture perfect soccer.

Anyway...the boys and their tournaments. They have gone to the championship round all three tournaments but have not had the best games to win them. It's very sad to see three solid games of play go up in smoke in the championship game..some boys play their hearts out while others are either too tired or too discouraged to continue with the fire under them....But the soccer has been intense, solid, and keeps all of us on the edge of our seats screaming and cheering!

The boys will most likely go to districts and state if they play their cards right. Some small changes need to be made that could make or break their chances of advancing ahead to state. I do believe much of those changes start with the parents and it could be difficult in some instances to enforce some things.

I've had a rough time on the sidelines with the injuries but mostly with the negativity and the people arguing with the refs....it's been very intense soccer and something I'm not all that used to--our girls at age 11 were still so girly and afraid of the ball and other players...it's night and day really. But the competition and the expectations that are voiced to the boys are more than I can take and I've nearly lost it on more than one occasion and just let someone have a piece of my mind. Our older girls cannot stand the sidelines we sit on and have also been very vocal.

I've chosen to park my butt away from those who I cannot be around because it seems the best solution. I cannot make these 'rule with an iron fist' people see my way of thinking which is...these boys are playing good, they are working hard and they are doing the best that they can! Sure, they mess up but in the end, I know that if a person put me out on that field I wouldn't last more than 2 minutes with all that running up and down..that coordination, the aim, the aggression they need to have in order to win that ball from the opponent.....and most importantly NO FEAR! I feel the frustration with some poor reffing or a botched play but the only difference is is I don't dwell on it and target that person for the rest of the game or insult them loud enough so they or their teammates can hear.

I could complain all night about my gripes because I am just that irritated with adults who think young boys are capable of perfection and if it's not achieved, well these 'adults' don't hesitate to voice it loud enough for the boys to hear it....not to mention the refs....oh my.

I think I may have to volunteer next year to sit on the coaching side of the field somewhere.....I do enjoy watching these kids get better as the season goes on. The worst part is those who can't take a step back and look at this for what it is...a winning season and a team of boys that has really come a long way....HoHum, here's hoping I can get through the next two games while biting my tongue..

Blah! R.I.P. Miss Hawkeyes and damn that bear!

2010-06-25T08:44:00.005-05:00

It's been one hell of a week; well not really but then in a sense really. It started out ok after a nice weekend spent with friends and a bonfire. Father's day we were out fishing (of course) on a new lake. We'll have to inspect it a bit more because it looks like it might produce some nice fish but we weren't all that lucky. We had nothing special planned for dad's day...just fishing and some steaks on the grill.

I feel bad because I didn't honor my husband and all the dad's out there on my blog like I normally do. Not for lack of knowing I'm married to an absolutely wonderful man who dotes on his kids and his wife like no other. Time just seems to get away from me and I feel like our life is on a constant fast forward motion. Soccer, homework, driving kids to work, picking kids up, squeezing in as much fishing as we can, taking care of the house. The pace is much faster than I can keep up with on some days. So the realization that I just neglected to put up that post mostly for my husband started me off on a sour note this week.

Tuesday was a great morning until I went out to get the mail. Living here one expects certain things. Sometimes good sometimes bad. Well, one of those bad things hit my field of vision....upon walking across the road from getting the mail I looked down the road a bit and there was a lump on the side of the road...it was our cat Hawkeyes that we've had for 12 1/2 years. My pace picked up and as I got closer I started to say no-no-no....thoughts raced through my head that I would get to her and she would still be breathing and suffering, our son was in the house, how would I tell him, oh man do I have to tell the older girls, I have to tell P....I reached her and was very grateful that she was gone because the thought of my sweet little kitty suffering just pained me. She looked peaceful and like nothing had happened to her...

I cried alone on the street so I could collect myself to deliver the news to the rest of the family. I got in the house and texted P and all the kids and told our son. He thought I was kidding and as I was trying to explain to him--P must have dialed my number the second he read the text...I was trying to talk to him and trying to keep our son from going out there but he squeaked past me...I watched him as I spoke with P....our girls were frantically texting my phone so it kept beeping...and I looked up and our son was petting her...gawd it was awful. I was struggling to talk to P through sobs dreading the idea of having to pick her up, not knowing what to do with her. P sounded so down and shocked. He was pissed because we've seen how cars drive down this road--it's not a highway but people sure do treat it that way. Our son was devastated--our girls were upset--honestly the loss of a pet is nearly as bad as the loss of a human being in our lives.

In the end, our son and youngest daughter, P and myself buried her. The kids cried, I cut up my only robe that she absolutely loved. In the winter she would insist on climbing on my chest, kneading her paws into that robe and nibble at it and then bury her head in my neck while I did homework...she loved it more than I did which is a lot. It was old and a great robe but not nearly as great as that cat! She put us through some interesting times...one time she just disappeared on us for about six weeks and then one day there she was on our back porch. She had kittens, one of which we decided to keep but I actually saw as he too was hit by a car right in front of our house...the car was flying. She is now with her baby.

So, yesterday morning P woke me up before he left for work with...'We had a visitor last night'. It appears our friend the bear was back in our yard wreaking havoc. He bent my Shepard hook nearly to the ground to get the finch feeder, knocked our garbage can over and left trash all over the ground, and busted the other side of my main bird feeder. Amazingly the finch feeder was as good as new..one would have thought it would chew right through that plastic so I'm thinking it got spooked. I just wish that bear would come when we could see it or at least leave some paw prints that we could ooooo and ahhhh over! Good grief.

In between all of this we've had two soccer games with our son this week. Both of which they have won. I need to do a separate post for the amazing season but will refrain from doing so until after this weekend...I don't want to jinx it!

Aside from all of this...my mood has been less than wonderful this week. I miss my cat who would sleep on the bed next to me while I did my homework nearly everyday. I'm grateful for the time we had with her...it's just life...all good things must end, right?

Oh it's on Baby!!!

2010-06-18T23:59:00.013-05:00

As you can see below all this writing my hubby, son and I have been getting in some fishing. It appears though that due to some unexpected catches last night that the war is on! The above pic of our son is where the season began and as you can see, he pulled in a peewee. The two little pics are from pre-season and very unexpected catches...that is where it all began. P has a 3 1/2 pounder but mine---HA--weighed in at 4 1/2 pounds. At the time it was discussed that we should set a goal and I believe P is the one who mentioned it, but he said we should try to beat the 5 lb. mark...innocent enough. For me it was a goal, not a competition...Gawd, what in the hell was I thinking fishing with two testosterone filled males who live to compete.

Here I am, fishing just to fish and pulling in on average 3 pounders nearly every trip...woohoo, whoopti do...little did I know that it was eating my husband alive that he was only pulling in 1 1/2 to two pounders but I should have started to figure it out recently when he started to get whiny about fishing spots being already fished and dropping subtle hints that he should have pulled up further so he had a better spot to fish.......hmmmmmm. I thought it was just us enjoying something we ALL absolutely love to do.

I'm a generous fisherman-woman whatever I'm not PC but if I caught a fish I would tell my son to throw his line in my spot and also do the same for my hubby. I will point out the photo of my son and I....I lost my worm to a good size bass so I told my son to go catch it...wham, guess what? He caught it and I was overjoyed for him and even more so when he busted out laughing because for the second year in a row, he had pulled in a fish that had MY worm in it's throat! Had my line not snapped it would have been my catch...a 2 1/2 pounder but hey, I'm not even the slightest bit bitter...glad to have started a tradition with my son. Had that been P or B I would have never heard the end of it...I am so naive..here all this time I thought they were genuinely happy for me when I would pull in a lunker....not so.

Anyway...it seems there is now this huge competition going on...I've got two boys here gloating and hemming and hawing because that pic of me in the yellow jacket was of a 4 3/4 lb. bass....P of course was trying to be kind by saying it was 5 but I have continued to correct him because I'm fair like that. Last night is apparently when the stakes got higher.....the gloating began, the joking and poking began because my fish that will be hanging on our wall is nothing compared to what they caught....wow, imagine my surprise when I realized our 'friendly' fishing trips were really an ambush....doesn't that tell you something???? I'm the one who's been pulling in the good size fish the last couple years but I certainly don't rub it in because I just love to catch them!

So last night we found this spot on the lake after 3 or 4 hours of frustration with wind and no fish....Holy crap, what a great spot it turned out to be....our boy casted the second the motor shut off and within a couple minutes he hooked into a big one...see pic below...it weighed in at 5 lbs even. The fish wasn't even out of the boat before he started in on me and how I don't hold the record anymore. Record? I was going for the 5 lb. mark because that was the goal...competing? Well, then P casted in the same spot and within a minute he hooked into that pig he's holding with a stunned look on his face...I seriously had to tell him to smile because I think the guy was in shock...I nearly recorded him bringing that fish in--the guy just cracks me up. Upon weighing this monster it turned out to be 6 1/2 lbs..him and our son were quite a spectacle trying to measure all of it's 21 inches while stopping to excitedly discuss the catch and how big it was..I mean really, P could fit his fist in that mouth! It was pretty exciting and as you can see, well deserved. P's not had a great season so far but after this catch, I think he's pretty much got the win in the bag......

Well.....for as non-competitive as I am, I might have to make some adjustments..this post being one of them........notice all the big fish I have in these pics? I bet in pounds alone I've managed to tip the scales with these fish....the boys and their peewees...pft! It's definitely on now........

Disclaimer: as a woman who tends to believe that the more I try the harder it will be to catch a bigger fish than Pat, I will say now that I do believe for this season, P will be the winner.....God help me when the end comes because I know I'm going to have to hear alllllll about it!!!

I'm gonna kicka some ***

2010-06-07T22:38:00.002-05:00

And THIS is the man we call 'Mr. President'! Wow, what a great example of professionalism and dignity!

Obama Seeking "Ass To Kick" Over Oil Spill

The cabin

2010-06-03T16:30:00.007-05:00

When the weather starts getting warm, my senses kick in. Memories weave their way back into my mind and remind me of things that used to be so exciting and adventurous. Granted, my concept of adventure usually meant swinging really high on a swing and jumping or venturing out on my paddle boat a little further from the cabin so I could fish or test my separation boundaries.

We used to go to a cabin on a lake that seemed absolutely enormous--not the cabin but the lake. It probably isn't as big as what is seen through a child's eyes but it's still a large lake. It's a place I often dream of--literally. I learned how to waterski, learned how to fish, learned how to swim, learned how to be patient and mostly how to relish the beauty that surrounds me everyday.

The cabin was nothing to brag about. There was an outhouse, the only water we had was that which was pumped from the lake. If we wanted to bathe we had to do so in the lake which was less than fun when we'd spend three weeks there for my dad's long vacations. If we wanted hot water we had to boil it..it was very rustic and had that musty odor to it.

My father spent many hours fixing that place up...building decks and docks, painting, cutting down trees, repairing this or that and at the end of the day we might get to go fishing or water skiing depending on how my dad was feeling. I remember how he'd rid the peaks of the big bee hives. The peak meaning the area where the roofs met one another. He would wrap a rag around a big long stick, douse it in gasoline, start it on fire and burn the nest....it worked like a charm. I even remember my father barbequing which if you knew my father he was not that kind of person....he expected dinner on the table every night. But we had some photos of him with an apron on, a bandanna or hat on, and a hot mitt with his checkered shorts, white socks, black shoes, and no shirt...what a sight! LOL

My mom was always the one strapped with the chore of cleaning the fish...I never realized what an awful chore that was when I was so young so I was usually the one catching dinner for the night and darn proud of that fact. She never really let on that she hated doing that until I was old enough to learn how to clean fish. Together her and I would scale the fish, we'd cut the heads and fins off, throw the remains in newspaper and the meat in a bowl of water and move on to the next. Afterward we'd go back into the woods with a shovel and bury the remains of the fish deep so the critters wouldn't come and get them. There wasn't a garbage service there; we usually had to bring the garbage to a dumpster somewhere down the road when we would leave for the weekend so having those remnants laying around wasn't a great idea. Then we'd clean things up and she would be responsible for cooking....yup, we ate a lot of fish!

We had a worm bed there. I was never allowed to get worms at the bait store because we had that dumb nasty worm bed. It was actually the drainage area for the sink inside the cabin and the place where egg shells, potato skins, and other food remnants were dumped. It was in there I had to dig up my own worms if I wanted them which was usually every weekend. I never found night crawlers but the earth worms were plenty. The dirt in there.....oh yum and I say that with the utmost of sarcasm....disgusting mud almost but not quite. I would get a bucket or coffee can, throw a shovelful of dirt in there and begin my hour long job of digging up enough worms for myself and my brothers for the next couple days. The closer we dug to the drainage pipe, the bigger the worms but I really hated digging there...it was just yuck!

Whenever I'm out fishing with my hubby and our son, I often think of my younger days spent living a life that I've since learned I absolutely loved. I never wanted to run around there, I loved just sitting on the dock or playing cards or watching my dad work. My childhood was that cabin, it was the most prominent influence in my life and just another outlet that allowed me to spend time with my mom and dad.

My childhood was a bit complicated, it was an unhappy and painful time for many in my family and myself....but that cabin....Not so much the bad memories I might have from that place but those memories that are deeply embedded in my heart that warm me from head to toe. The sound of my father's laughter, the joy he got when he would whip us around on the water skis or inner tubes and we would go flying, the tears glistening in his eyes when he laughed so hard, the endearing sound of him calling me Bubs whenever he needed something--my mother's crinkled face as she cleaned fish and tried to scratch an itch on her face with scaly hands, her walking in the cabin with fish scales all over her hair, the worry she wore on her face when we swam or skiied, fishing on the paddle boat with her, learning cribbage and solitaire from them, my mom helping me dig up worms because there was a point I could barely lift the shovel and no one would help....my mom shoving me under the bed when a bad storm would come, her and I venturing out to the outhouse at midnight and my dad sneaking out and hiding and jumping out at us..

Regardless of the painful memories that may surround that period in my life and that of my siblings I have to say that blocking out the one 'thing' that haunts us all gets a lot easier because those memories and moments of laughter and fun times with my folks far outweigh those sorrows that enveloped so many....I'm not one to succomb but more like one to fight and see the positive in the negative....it's not always the easiest thing in the world but it's certainly taught me a lot about life.....

A weekend for the books

2010-06-01T09:53:00.005-05:00

I'm too antsy to dig into my homework so thought if I wrote I would be better able to focus. I'm still coming down from a super-fabulous weekend. Relaxed, busy, and completely a weekend filled with perfect weather and perfect company.

All weekend we fished for bass. We caught some, lost others, and I even caught a lamprey...eewwww, was that thing ugly!

We went to the same lake on Saturday and Sunday--one that we hadn't really explored much as far as bass...the website we go to doesn't even list bass population/size on this lake but we've caught quite a few there so we thought we would dig in. Not a bad choice but not one we would make again if given the opportunity.

We caught a good number of them, they fought well, they eluded us plenty, and my 20-lb. test braided line even snapped twice on something....the big bass monster that lurks in those lily pads. Oddly enough, we had our friend Boz along on Saturday and it was he who latched on to the catch of the weekend. I say oddly enough because in typical man fashion, my line snapped so I was busy re-rigging it...he nonchalantly threw his line in the spot my line snapped and WHAM! He was surprised and blessed with a four and a half pound bass on the other end of his line.

Hmmm, I ask myself how often my husband and son have 'casually' moved into my space like that...I'd have to say Boz is catching on. Sorry Boz, I just have to give you some grief! LOL I couldn't think of a better person to catch such a bass--since I've already experienced such a thing. **smug grin** Our boy has caught his lunkers, P has caught his share of lunkers...it was due time Boz had his turn. I'm just so glad I could roust the pig for ya Boz. You can see that he is very happy with his catch in the photo.

Yesterday--ahh yesterday....this day was reserved for just my husband and I...out on the boat exploring the river for those dumb small mouth bass! Seven hours of searching turned up a hit on my jitterbug that resulted in a squirmy thing on my hook and two smaller bass for P. While it was frustrating for us with the sandbars every 100 feet it was also the most fun I had all weekend. Once again we had perfect weather and just...mmmm. A lot of fun.

Thankfully it wasn't me catching the trees this time...hehe. The river is where I caught the lamprey and it gives me the chills just remembering how that thing squirmed on my lure! ICK! I wasn't going to even take it off the hook because I thought it would attract more fish and I wasn't about to touch it. I'm not normally a squirmy fisherperson but THAT was just YUCK! My sweet man took care of it for me but I was never able to catch the fish that thing was stuck to. =(

The overall experience was something for the fishing log--no pun intended--and one I wouldn't trade for anything. We brought lunch so we parked the boat up on shore at one of those camping sites and sat at a picnic table and devoured our food and stretched a bit. Heavenly describes the weekend we had.

I'm not sure we'll venture out on the river or that lake for awhile though because we have our sites set on catching some lunkers that we know lurk in one lake in particular...unfortunately this particular lake is choked with the mil foil so getting from point A to B could prove to be a stop an go venture but all the same..the bass are in there. The river we're saving for a night or two of island camping and a bit more research. P sure enjoyed the fight of those bass he caught but they were too far and few in-between. If people could just stop being so secretive about that dumb river perhaps we could land a few...who knows...

Now I feel better so I have to get going on my homework. Have a spectacular day!

A Day to remember

2010-05-31T23:11:00.002-05:00

Before I head off to bed, I must put up a quick post.

Today was Memorial Day...a day to remember, a day to reflect, and a day to be grateful for. My thoughts for those who are serving were many this weekend as I was out enjoying my family, my husband, and myself. I would bow my head at the sight of a flag and remember that this weekend is a gift.

P, B, and I had a really great weekend...of course it was filled with fishing but add to that the beautiful weather and an overall feeling of contentment at a time in our life when things couldn't be better. I'm worn out, I'm sunburned, and I'm completely satisfied with life...a life I couldn't enjoy with out those who sacrifice, a life I couldn't enjoy without those who volunteer to maintain a freedom that on many days all of us take for granted.

With that being said....THANK YOU MILITARY MEN AND WOMEN for all that you do. My thoughts and prayers were with all of you, with those who have lost, with those who are considering enlistment....it is because of your bravery and courage that my family and I can enjoy all that we do.....

Can you say obsessed????

2010-05-28T19:36:00.002-05:00

It's almost finally here...BASS opener!!! I am so excited I think I'll.....well what I was gonna say isn't so nice so I'll just say....hurry bed time cuz when I wake up we're going out on the boat all morning...

It's been a pretty torturous few weeks for B, P, and myself....we have all been so impatiently waiting for tomorrow that we nearly couldn't contain the legal fishing guidelines...it's been like seeing that nice big slice of chocolate cake covered in glistening frosting screaming my name...only I must pull myself away.

P and I got ourselves some pretty nice fishing poles....so nice in fact that they are in our bedroom where if anyone dares to touch them we will be on them like stink on doody! We also invested in some braided line so we won't lose any fish in the lily pads...oh, and I had a sweet little reel that I had to return yesterday =( . I was pretty upset about that because it was really nice except for one thing...I went through a whole spool of very expensive braided line due to tangling issues....and I know it was the reel because 1) we re-spooled it three times 2) P and B aren't having any of those issues with the same line on their reels and 3) I have a different reel now and haven't had a single incident.....

Sorry for gushing about fishing...it's one of the top five things on my list of things I love to do....can't help it. I grew up fishing every single weekend with my brothers/sisters and my mom and dad......I even had my own paddleboat that I fished off of when no one else wanted to fish....I had it made....

Anyway....need to get to my Philosophy PowerPoint that's due in two days.......I HAVE to get it done so I can fish all weekend....

One tough week...

2010-05-24T13:01:00.004-05:00

Ok, before I completely immerse myself in what looks to be a very stressful block of classes I have to post! I'm going through withdrawal or something!

Last week was such a beautiful week...oh man, the weather was so perfect. I decided that I would put all my homework on hold until Wednesday so I could get some much needed outside work done.

Our boy got me all those hosta plants for mom's day so I needed to get them in the garden. They could no longer live in those restrictive pots and I got this brainstorm idea where the perfect place would be...my veggie garden. Yes, I have had to come to the realization that my veggie garden will no longer exist because our young maples are growing at unbelievable rates creating way too much shade. =(

So I decided I would use that garden to make a perennial garden--smaller and add some grass seed. Oh my goodness, what a chore that turned out to be. Rocks lined this garden all the way around it and in order to make it smaller I needed to rearrange the rocks and measure and plant things just so. From about 10:00 Monday morning until about 5:30 Monday afternoon I weeded, raked, hoed, moved BIG rocks, moved edger, weeded some more, raked some more and finally had things all ready for planting on Tuesday. What I didn't realize was how sunburned my shoulders had gotten until I got in the shower...OMG....By the middle of the night when I could no longer sleep because it hurt so bad, I dozed in and out of a painful consciousness thinking I had blistered....gosh did it hurt!

I awoke Tuesday ready to plant...I had P put some of that great lotion on my back that alleviates the sting of sunburn, threw on my t-shirt and work shorts and began my day again at about 10:30. I had about nine hostas from our son but that just wouldn't do it. I ran to the nursery planning to buy some more and came home with a bleeding heart, a plant to attract hummingbirds that I cannot remember the name of, and a burning bush. No hostas which meant I needed to dig up the reserve I have in our yard and use those. So, that's what I did....I planted all that other stuff first and then went to dig and dig and dig. I came up with 15 more hostas. By this time my body was screaming from the day before but no matter, I had a ton more to do.....

After I got all that planted I had to rake the rest of the 'garden' and lay down some grass seed then I had one other large patch to rake and seed before I could call it quits. By 4:30 when P got home I was sitting on the ground with my rake scraping the other 'grass' spot with barely any energy left. Somehow I managed to get all that done though.

Then I still had other flowers to plant, spider plants to replant and a shower to take. By 6:30pm i was walking in the door just dragging butt. And I must say, that was the best damn shower I've ever taken! I was filthy and sticky and just aching....ahhhhhh.

The next day I vowed to do the very little homework I had remaining and to relax but no way, no how...I pulled out the lawn mower and decided to surprise P and mow part of the 'field' that our yard looked like. We've been so busy around here that neither of us have had the time to mow.....even as recent as yesterday he was thanking me for my help with the lawn..it's a four hour job to mow and not a very forgiving yard. Hills and trees and hills and and and....

After I mowed the lawn I was absolutely spent and ready to dig into my homework. I managed to finish both classes of homework by Thursday...and it was this day that I went out and got us a new 'kid'. A cute little Kitten we named Stella--after the beer. She is thee most adorable little thing and so much fun. Now I have something to keep me occupied when I take a brief rest from homework and other things.

It took a lot to talk P into getting another little critter but I had a strong argument....rodents! Cats are much more useful than dogs in many ways where we live and are barely ever a burden other than the occasional dead animal or a little vomit....for now, Stella sleeps with us, she plays with our fingers in the middle of the night but spends most of her times sleeping wrapped around my head.

This week, I start two new classes--Philosophy and Algorithms. In looking at my syllabus' it's going to be very busy the next nine weeks.

Soccer is in full swing now, school is almost over, and summer is only just beginning.....oh, did I mention Bass season is only 5 days away???? P and I are going to have one very relaxing weekend and may even attempt to camp along the river..who knows. All I know is we are going absolutely nuts not being able to fish for those bass!!!!!!! Very soon though.

Must get to my homework now...have a great day all!

On this day...a long post

2010-05-18T19:58:00.007-05:00

(Our son looking out over Lake Superior)

Our weekend has been and gone and it was the best damn weekend regardless of the stress and the overwhelming amount of things going on. There is just WAY too much to talk about and my post would be pages long with all the details so I will make this as short and sweet as possible although we all know how that usually goes.

(the wedding party)

Heck, I don't even know how to sum all the events up except to say they all went very smoothly and absolutely perfect. Our son's field trip was a lot of fun--we were on a very tight schedule there so you know when you get in that mode of rush around so you can see everything....from 10:00am until 2:30 this is exactly what it was like.

We went to the zoo first...I always have a pang of sadness when I visit the zoo...those poor animals being confined like that for my enjoyment but that grizzly bear sure was cool gnawing on a huge bone....then we went on to the Depot. P loves that place and our son had a great time running around the different trains on display....it is a pretty nifty place though. Then my least favorite part of the trip....the Harbor Cruise. I was fine while we circled around the harbor but then we went under the draw bridge onto Lake Superior....I love to photograph that lake and to sit and listen to the huge waves crashing on shore but for some reason, that lake scares the crap out of me. Needless to say, while we were outside the harbor, I was white knuckling that railing silently begging for us to go back! Of course here I sit and am just fine but all the same...

It was after the cruise that we had to shift gears and head to the wedding....we said goodbye to our son and were off to the races. Already running 15 minutes behind schedule, we hit the road construction....that set us back another half hour. I swear, everytime I looked at the clock two hours had passed because the clock seemed to be moving and we just couldn't seem to get nearer our destination...time was moving while our wheels turned in place. I put my make-up on as we waited for traffic..stop and go is not the best situation for putting on eyeliner and mascara and it doesn't help that I'm not one to normally wear make-up.

P knew I was freaking out, he handled me really well because he knew how badly I didn't want to be late..he didn't either but he was the realistic one who kept talking reason. Usually that's my job with him and I but not that day! He was setting all time driving records with me in the passenger seat..normally I'm telling him to slow down or asking what the hurry is...not this time. In fact I was secretly hoping some car would pass us going 90 so P could go the 'speed of traffic' as he always likes to tell me.

We had to squeeze in time to get gas--I thought I had put enough in for the day--plus we both needed to get dressed and were 45 minutes behind. Our original plan was to stop at the gas station and then hit a rest stop so we could both get ready...this just didn't cut it considering. So I mentioned getting dressed at the gas station while we got gas....P thought this was a great idea and then made it even better...he said he would get dressed while I pumped the gas and then I could get ready in the car as we drove .... Brilliant! I'm not much of a primper, my hair was already wind blown, my make-up was half assed, getting dressed in the car was no big deal. There was only one problem...I had to pee! How would we solve that?

We got to the station, I finished pumping the gas before Pat was done getting ready so I was going to quick run to the bathroom...only problem was there was only one....Argh! So I opted to just will my bladder to grow and would go once we got to our daughters wedding and hour or two later. Thank God I fish and am able to do this! LOL Pat thought I was being silly and told me to go quick...well, I went to go and there were two people in line....FORGET IT! We had to get on the road.

Well, going to the bathroom was soon forgotten as I got dressed. Then I couldn't find my earrings...they fell off the hanger....shit! Ok, well, no big deal but P was freaking out about that more than I was. LOL I finally did find them after climbing to the back, in my dress between the two seats....then back up front....and to the back again because I forgot to grab P's cinnamon roll he wanted....wow.

Finally when I could sit and do nothing but watch the minutes tick by faster and faster, we discussed the route we would take to the wedding. Of course the destination was not just off the highway we were on but on what seemed like the other side of the world. P was going to drive past our house and hook up with the usual route we take on any other day but I suggested another route because we would have been backtracking. It saved only about six minutes but hey, six minutes is six minutes. We had already shaved about 15-20 off the main drive on the highway....

We arrived 15 minutes before the ceremony was to start...from that point on, everything what a sea of chaos and rushing around and trying to find our heads....thankfully the judge who married our daughter was laid back and was in no hurry to get the ceremony started so in the end, that 45 minutes of time we lost was won back thanks to photos being taken, other people arriving late from the cities, and conversations with the guests. The judge was GREAT! He not only performed a very nice and memorable ceremony but he also told me he thought I was our daughter's sister....I gave him a pat on the shoulder and told him I really really liked him! LOL

In the end, the day was a blur of activity from 4:30am all the way until about 10:30pm when we got home. The kids did a fantastic job throwing this wedding together and there were so many others out there who donated this and that and brought food.....it was just one hell of a wedding. Our daughter looked stunning, her hubby looked handsome and our other daughters looked beautiful. Our little WeeMan was cute as could be in his little vest, dress shirt/pants and tie but the poor little guy was so tired...he had a big day.

I would hope that next time we will have more time to prepare for such an event but it's also comforting to know that we can pull something of this magnitude together on a whim and have it be a smashing success. Everyone had a great time, food was good and plenty, the cake lady who made the cake did an outstanding job...all the things we ordered on Craigslist from different people.......it all matched. The thing that stuck the most with me were the unity candles for two reasons. First, the single candle had a saying on it, I had no idea--we ordered it from Craigslist and couldn't see what it said.....but on it it said, "On this day I will marry my friend; the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love." That was the saying that P and I had on our wedding invitations all those years ago and one that I have always loved so very much. When I saw what it said I swore my daughter would think I chose that on purpose...not so. The second thing that struck me....one of the taper candles refused to blow out. It was windy up on that hill and the judge said we would be lucky if the unity candle would stay lit let alone the two side candles. The one side candle refused to stay lit while the other kept burning throughout the ceremony. When the kids went to light the unity candle, that too stayed lit.....I told my daughter the day after the wedding that I thought her grandpa was there. She asked why I thought that....I told her that one candle that refused to go out was him....she said, "Mom, I was bawling my eyes out a couple days ago because I wished so bad that Grandpa was here so he could have been a part of our wedding......" I told her I thought he was.

Regardless of why that candle stayed lit, in our hearts we will always believe it was him and his stubborn will that made that candle stay lit....

The day was absolutely perfect! I don't think I would ever want to change a single moment ... not even the mad rush to prepare, squeeze in two kids events, or the race to the destination! Everything fell right into the place it was supposed to be!

Venting!

2010-05-10T19:08:00.005-05:00

I feel like a post! Hmmm

Ok, so it's day one of hell week. I discovered that not only do I have a 2000+ word report on Judaism to turn in this Friday but I also have a 1750+ report to turn in on information systems for my IT class....AND a wedding and food to make and a field trip to attend the same day as the wedding and.......life.

Now, I sit here, got a portion of my homework done and am slacking off so I can blog a bit. I'm just a glutton. But hey, I need a sanity break too to vent some and brag a bit about my kids and hubby! And yeah, my hubby is one helluva guy...he took me fishing yesterday for Mother's Day. :)~! No fish but what a beautiful day it was--well aside from the fact that the motor was choking a bit and my brand new reel wasted a whole bunch of very expensive braided line because it keeps tangling...yeah, it's going back to the store at some point this week-Like when I meet up with the girl who offered to make the wedding cake...gosh I really hope she doesn't change her mind otherwise that's just something else I have to do this week...eeks, that could possibly be the Leaning Tower of Pisa Cake of the century if I have to make it! LOL

The idea of a wedding has really been sinking in the last few days. Our daughter is getting married this Friday!!!!! That is so exciting and heart-wrenching at the same time. While we have other things we have to do that day and the day is going to be jam packed with driving, there is nothing about it that I'm dreading. Things are coming together for the wedding and both P and I are looking forward to that day regardless of the 400+ miles P has to drive...

A little run down of our Friday here and maybe some will get why there are two milestone events that day for P and I. In the morning we have a field trip with our son....it's the biggest field trip of the year for the fifth graders as well as for their elementary years...one that we have been planning to chaperon since last June--we committed to doing it in September. Why? Well, it's really very simple. He is our youngest child, he's in his last year of elementary school before he moves on to middle school....we've had kids in this school that we love so very much for the last 15 years. It's been a rough year for us with him...we've attended that last choir concert we will ever go to for one of our kids, we've attended many of his little awards ceremonies and again, the last we will ever attend for our 'elementary' children....at his choir concert I was sick as a dog but I still went because it would be the last one and I sat there with tears in my eyes as I realized that after him, there will be no more of these....

So, yeah, people might think we're crazy for attending his field trip on the same day as our daughter's wedding but there is a good reason for it in our book....as parents who have gone through four kid's events over the years some of these things build up. Neither P or I had many issues sending them off to kindergarten...we were very blase about it and were very excited for them and for us....but now it's slowly coming to an end..all those years of raising them and watching them grow into the wonderful adults they're becoming....it's mushy and it's 'being a woman' but I really don't care. The memories of all their years are flooding back.

So this field trip is two hours away, we have to be there by 9:30am and have a tightly regimented schedule until P and I leave at 2:30 to head back for the wedding....needless to say, we will be getting dressed in the car, I will have to get up at 4 am to do my hair and make sure I don't forget anything..our other daughter will be picking up our other daughter and the food I have to make on Thursday--thank you so much GD #2--we will arrive hopefully within 45 minutes of the start of the wedding and relax for that time and then move on to the wedding...then we get to go eat and party for just a bit before we have to leave to pick up our son...sadly, he won't be attending the wedding but our daughter is being so wonderful about that...I feel bad that he won't be there but our daughter has gone out of her way to let me know that it's all ok...I really hope she means that cuz this has been thee most stressful and difficult decision P and I have had to make--torn between two kids and two events that mean the world to both of them....our daughter only gets married once and our son will only get to go on this field trip once....

Needless to say, the week we realized we had these two things on our plate was probably the worst week....I was a wreck and teary eyed because I couldn't do both...but some how we've managed to be at both and both of our kids are ok with the compromise that we came up with. Sure it means traveling like speed demons both ways but that's no matter to P and I...what matters the most is that we have managed to work out a plan that allows us to be in two different places at two different times while attending two very important events for two of our children...

Thanks to our daughter and our son for being so open to working with us on this....it means more than you two will ever know!

Happy Mom's Day 2010

2010-05-08T21:09:00.007-05:00

Another Mother's Day tomorrow and for some reason my peace with life is so settled right now. I am so overwhelmed with my family right now...

Earlier this week, my son told me about the plant sale they were having in his class for mom's day...I told him I wanted Hosta's so we could make a Hosta garden in place of my veggie garden. I can no longer have my veggies because our trees are growing too much and there's just too much shade. So, on Thursday on the way to school I asked him how much he needed for Hostas--he said they started at a dollar and went all the way to five dollars. So I gave him a five and said get me as many as you can.

My sweet little boy came home with nine hostas! I asked how he managed to get them all since I only gave him $5. He had taken some of his own money along to buy me more. I should mention the day before he also brought me home a single red petunia..he said it was the very last one and apologized to me because it wasn't the best one. That one single little gesture meant the absolute world to me!

So yesterday he kept talking about the plant sale and said there was still a couple more hostas left if I wanted them so I gave him two more dollars to buy them for me. I had to leave the house to get to our daughter's bachelorette party before everyone got home so I expected only two more hostas when I got home..

I got home at 10:30 last night to five huge hostas, two spider plants, another little plant that he had to replant--the little turd had taken out the rest of his money to buy them for me and according to Pat had been talking to Pat all week about how much I was going to just love him (our son) for this...I really had no idea how much that child thought of me til this week...God, it just melts me to pieces!

On top of a table full of little plants from our son, mixed in there was a really cute little bouquet of baby roses and carnations in a tiny square vase with a butterfly thingy in it from Pat and the kids. Needless to say, the appreciation I get around here brings tears to my eyes some days and this week has certainly reminded me that I am thought of by all my kids and my husband. This is love in my eyes, this is remembering that I am not just some maid service to this family, that they really do think more of me than I realize on some days....while some pangs of guilt flutter around for my ignorance to this fact, the pride and fortune I feel to be surrounded by a family that thinks of me....ugh, sorry...I'm a bit emotional.

We bought our oldest a dozen red roses for her Mother's Day and it just felt so good to see her face light up when she saw them. She in turn handed me a card and apologized that she couldn't get me more...our other daughter said she has made me a photo thing that she has on facebook...the third child? She was charming and agreeable as could be today while we were shopping...definitely a rare shopping adventure and one that I will remember for a very long time.

There is seriously nothing like being a mom, being loved by your kids and those around you....I vowed this week that I would pay closer attention to those little things my husband and kids do because in all honesty, they may be little to us but to them, it's the best they can do for us and its not just some 'have to do' gesture....sometimes I'm just as guilty of blindness to these things....I hope I can change that.

I do hope every other mom out there, including those who have dogs or cats, fish or snakes, lizards or monkeys, for kids know that they are some very special beings and deserve nothing but the best this Mom's Day!

Have a most spectacular Mother's Day all you mom's out there in the world. I know my day will be superb! (we're going to try to go fishing!) Hope the day pans out for us so we can cuz there's nothing that I would rather be doing than sitting outside, listening to the water, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the glow of the sun with my husband and son...if only GD #3 would like fishing.....ugh!

Big event on the horizon

2010-05-06T20:56:00.003-05:00

Good grief, this has not been a great stretch for my health these last few months. But oh well....too much to do to really worry about it and must keep on moving on right?

I've been keeping a secret....our oldest daughter and her fiance have decided to get married--perhaps this is deja vu or perhaps not; they were going to do this last October but things just weren't right for them at the time. And this was a good thing because they are much stronger for it now! And I think and hope they are ready. They've grown up a lot since then and have taken reality a bit more seriously....this is good!

So, well, ummm...the wedding will be next Friday! AND NO FOR ALL YOU OUT THERE WITH THAT QUESTION--she is NOT, I repeat, NOT pregnant and this is not some race to the altar to cover up a surprise pregnancy.....it is actually their anniversary day that they started dating. They wanted to be able to remember both of them and to celebrate them both and decided a little over four weeks ago that this how they were going to do things.

While P and I would have preferred a year, or even six months to prepare so we could make this whole thing absolutely spectacular for our girl, it's not our decision to make so we are doing the best we can and managing to make things pretty special I think...I hope! I've been consumed with it all week this week; on the internet and the phone finding this and ordering that, dress shopping one day this week and again this weekend......I guess with the let down of the last wedding plans I was a bit hesitant to get so involved but they have a marriage license...I'm thinking this is pretty serious!!! LOL

This weekend is consumed with millions of things and next weekend is much of the same...I seriously cannot wait to have a weekend to just be after this! The wedding is going to be an outdoor affair with a judge performing the ceremony. There's going to be a traditional aspect to is with our girls participating, a little aisle for them to walk down and a celebration after. All told only about 75-80 people are invited. They are hoping to do the real deal within the next couple years but would like to make it official for their own reasons...we don't ask, we just say ok and make arrangements.

We're pretty proud of these two. They have a lot of growing to do but as we all know, that comes with age and experience. They are both working, they just moved into a house, they are providing a happy home for their little man, they are doting parents looking forward to adding to their family, and mostly, they are really good to each other despite all the ruts in the road...I think that many of us can relate to those ruts that come with a relationship.....they've proven that they have the will to make things work as they've been through quite a bit in their five years together.

So now, we plan, we stress, we hope and pray that things will go smoothly. We wish we could make it an easy road for them knowing full well that in order to feel accomplished that it is themselves that have to pave that road.....we love them for who they are and who they are becoming and right now..they are growing in love, life, and experience.

Love to our oldest child and her husband to be!

A hidden gem no more

2010-04-28T09:19:00.005-05:00

Photo courtesy of St. Paul Pioneer Press who received it from St. Paul Regional Water Services)

It's a sad day. I've been hearing whispers about this in the last couple weeks and a sadness would wash over me.

I once wrote about a place my brother liked to go called the Reservoir. It was the place my mother never wanted us to go to because she thought we would fall through and die. It's the place where endless keggers were thrown for generations...it was the highest place that I knew of in our city and it had a spectacular view.

Today, there's an article in the local paper about this place with photos...honestly, this might sound crazy but it was a beautiful structure buried under our feet. Never in a million years would I have believed something like this was under our feet as we partied all night. I always imagined some big black holding tank that would eat me up.

It's no more...demolition has begun. In it's place will be put some ugly modern version of a holding tank:

"It will not be covered with earth like the old reservoir, Schuler said, but the water service plans to add elements that will help it blend into the forest.

"We're trying to do a low-key one," Schuler said.

Perhaps it's just living in this town we live in now and their fixation with preserving everything or maybe it's the ruination of a symbol of some really good times in our lives, or maybe it's the idea that people have to destroy something that is actually a beautiful piece of work from our past...Either way, it's just a sad day to realize the hidden gem that I took endless steps on, attended numerous parties at, star gazed, and just sat and enjoyed the peace is now a thing of the past....sometimes wouldn't it just be nice if people would leave things alone?

This looks like it was a really cool place to explore and ooh and aww over. Ah, just change is not always the easiest thing...Pat and I talked about visiting the "Rez" one of these days for old time sake...well, scratch that idea. Now we're too late.

I know, it's only a Reservoir but that reservoir holds a lot of memories for myself and I'm sure many of my friends and siblings...And I know, I can kick and scream and be sad all I want but in the end, things do need to change and be more practical..it just sucks is all!

It's complicated

2010-04-26T10:46:00.003-05:00

What a whirlwind week last week was. I had said in my last post that year two wasn't nearly as rough....man, I don't think I could have been further from the truth. I cannot count how many times I've cried in the last 5 days...Perhaps I have never dealt with the death, perhaps I don't allow myself to talk about it with people because I don't want to come off needy or like I'm dwelling...all I know is Pat had his hands full with me last week and over the weekend and he endured it all and came out on the other side with a love note stashed in my crossword book last night. God has blessed me with a great, great husband!

Pat said something to me on the 20th that really hit me. I was laying there crying in his arms about how I was in shock at how difficult things have been. In fact, while my mind was preparing and my heart was slowly sinking this month, there was no preparedness for last week. It snuck up on me like a little mouse and turned into a damn lion! Oh, but what Pat said to me that made me stop crying briefly--the first year we spent feeling numb, learning to accept it; now it's been two years and that numbness is gone and the reality is is that life moved on without my father...we have lived for two years without his presence and that in and of itself just hit home...are the feelings I'm having of guilt for living without him? Are they utter sadness that his laughter doesn't seep through the phone lines? Whatever it is, it felt like he died all over again.

If this is mourning I don't want it anymore! I told Pat I wanted to erase April from the calendar after this year because it's been so damn difficult. Add to that my confusion as to why its been so difficult and LeAnn has been one big fat mess!!!

Now, as the 24th passed, the weight in my chest has begun to slowly lift. I'm angry and frustrated with myself for having such a bad month, I'm angry that I let it consume me, and I'm most angry that my husband has to work so hard to help me through this! I'm not normally so weak but since two years ago, I'm just not my normal self. Although I know Pat lives to take care of me, as any man would say, those damn emotions!!!!! They aren't so excited to have to deal with them all the time...

This post may be depressing but for the moment, it's what I got...one good vent session! Thanks to my husband, my kids, and M for being there for me! I can't say I'm all that receptive or even all that great at being the one needing the shoulder but I can say that these are the people who are able to see that I'm not as strong as I want everyone to believe. It's much much easier to help others and to hide my true self...but I'd have to say...it is these people I mention who have taken the time to dig that person out!

2 Years today...

2010-04-20T07:50:00.003-05:00

It's two years today since my father died. Time sure does fly these days. While it's much easier today than it was last year, I've had many moments in the last few weeks of flashing images, of anger, of sadness, of utter frustration. It doesn't help that this hasn't exactly been the least taxing month with other things surfacing adding to all this.

But what are we gonna do...life happens, tears fall, laughter existed and it will continue to do so. I miss my father, more some days than others. Our daughters are struggling again, it's rough on them. They loved their grandpa so much. And there isn't anything I can do for that pain except be there...

I've just grown to not like this month very much. My mood is up and down, my emotions are a mess and I don't even get that half the time. The subconscious is an evil thing that creates all this even though I try very hard to pretend that it's just another month. Doesn't work so well...just ask Pat. Poor guy, he doesn't know what to expect from my mood on any given day in April. While I would love to move on and make my father a pleasant memory, I guess the pain is a little deeper than I had thought...duh LeAnn, I know. My chest is heavy with the gaping hole in my heart...one would think it would be lighter..go figure. :)

Anyway....Anniversary day is going to turn into days as we grow older, we are all going to lose those we love. It makes me nauseous just thinking about what lies ahead...

Going to spend the day with GD#2 laying down some landscaping trim around my rose gardens....and hey, my roses survived the winter! Now that's something. Hope to have a good day after what I know will be a good hard cry before her arrival....have a good day everyone..

Love you Dad! Miss you so very much but your sparkle and laughter still linger in my daily life.

Busy and physically drained!

2010-04-17T20:19:00.003-05:00

Busy, busy day today! Pat and I went to an endorsement convention this morning which was something neither of us has ever done. What an experience and one we were definitely not prepared for...but the candidate we were supporting won. We were pretty surprised by this since he's new to the circuit and the competition was tough. The whole thing was emotionally charged and at times, it was hard to hold back those tears of sadness for the candidates that conceded.

Then we came home for an hour or so and headed to a benefit for a local family who lost all their belongings and home to a fire a few weeks ago. Whoever put this event on put a lot of time and work into preparing this and it was a GREAT success. The family was there to give a speech which was tearful. There were so many people there one could hardly walk.

We just had an interesting day today. We aren't much for these sorts of things--we've maintained a pretty low profile in our little community here but it's quite surprising just how many people we know....pretty much 80% we worked with, recognized and couldn't place them, did daycare for them, newspaper contacts or just new them from seeing them around town.

It was a good day but I'm exhausted. Pat and I bought bikes yesterday and went on a bike ride with the kids...lets just say that both of us were really lagging on the way home and I laid myself on the grass as soon as I parked that thing.

Right now, Pat and I are in this transformation thing....taking better care of ourselves, getting more active, and eating better. So completely opposite of our normal selves. We actually started walking late last summer but then when the weather cooled off, that pretty much ended that. Now however, we've gone for a couple walks, we hiked our butts off last weekend, we purchased WiiFit plus and are constantly competing with the others score and now we have new bikes. My body is screaming at me wondering what in the heck is going on.....Sore? Uh-huh. Tired? You bet! Feeling a bit rubbery and weak? Oh my, yes...but it all feels really good. The kids are really happy that we're taking better care of ourselves and mostly that we got bikes. The whole family bike ride thing is really a hit with them. I just have to get out of this fatigued state before I can muster the courage to push ahead and get used to all this......

For now, I need to close my eyes and rest my weary self....it's been a very active week and a half for me and my achy old self is needing some R & R! Have a great night all....

Indescribable

2010-04-13T09:53:00.008-05:00

Before I dive into my homework I just have to gush about what an amazing weekend we had! The weather god was definitely looking down on us, F and M were just as into the whole scenic thing as we are, we had smoked white fish and trout for the first time...mmmmmmmmmm, drank too much, (said 'sorry' way too much, lol) walked the trails of hell way too much, laughed a ton, got serious some....can't wait to do it all again.

Oh, I forgot to mention the place we stayed was amazing. I think my most favorite part was the view from the master bedroom....two HUGE windows from floor to ceiling that took up two corners and looked out at Lake Superior...God what a great thing to look at when you wake up....my second favorite was the fireplace...**sigh** it was beautiful.

We spent quite a bit of time on our feet on Saturday. We were told there would be a lot of walking...haha, little did any of us realize that we'd bitten off more than we could chew. By the end of Saturday we were all whining like a bunch of babies...except F was pretty quiet...hmm. But we were all just sacks of potatoes. We went to the hot tub for I don't know how long and oohed and aahed about how great it felt on our very sore limbs.

But those sore limbs were so worth it. We saw a couple of the most beautiful waterfalls--Pat and I go up north as often as we can but we don't always venture off the 'tourist paths' and see what lies behind all this other beautiful stuff. I don't think we'll be so 'touristy' from now on when it comes to the North Shore.

We were also introduced to smoked fish. In all honesty, I had my worries that I would gag but lo and behold it was amazing; so much so that we brought some home with us. The white fish....holy guacamole! I told everyone it tasted like chicken but it really tastes like summer sausage or some sort of sausage. Hard to explain.

The picture above is the view from our townhouse we stayed in....that was taken on Sunday morning, the lake was calm, the sun was shining like it had it's brights on, and we sat out on the deck and drank coffee before we had to do the dreaded packing up, showers, and the long journey home....The weekend was relaxing and memorable. We're looking forward to doing it again and we are definitely planning on it...it's really nice to have some people in our lives we can be ourselves with and do what we like to do with them....in this case, get our butts outside and enjoy nature. Thanks F and M for a really, really great weekend!

A whole lot of nothing

2010-04-06T21:17:00.003-05:00

Today was my first actual day of being home alone and not having to run kids to the doc or pick up boyfriends since I quit my job. Wow, it was eerily quiet around here. I have to adjust to an empty house and doing homework all day instead of at night. This week that will be a bit messed up though because Pat and I will be heading up to the North Shore with some friends for the weekend.....seriously, we cannot wait!

Tomorrow is already Wednesday and I thought the week was going to creep by! But no, doesn't it just figure that I have two reports to do for school before we leave on Friday! That just means there won't be enough time in a day now because I HAVE to get these things done. But it shouldn't be too bad, I hope.

I was going to put up a post yesterday about the nude march done in Maine...women want equal rights and to be able to walk around topless. Seriously??? But the best part was the leader woman was upset because of all the men who stopped to ogle those topless women. Hello!!!! What man wouldn't gawk? And have these women never gawked at a nicely built man without his shirt on? Wow....some people! I think I'll continue to hang on to my pride in myself, my self respect and my dignity and keep my shirt on thank you very much.

We had a very nice Easter here. Very mellow and relaxed. I cooked a ham in the crock-pot, our second oldest came with her boyfriend, we didn't do anything except just sit around and watch tv. I never do that so that was a rare treat for me. We were all in good spirits, the weather was beautiful....just ahhh. I missed our oldest daughter though and our WeeMan. :(

Anyway, that about sums up all sorts of nothing.....probably won't post again til after our trip. Hopefully I'll have some pics to post but whether that happens or not is a whole other story!

Until next time...

Happy Easter

2010-04-03T21:23:00.003-05:00

Spent a nice day arguing with our teenage daughter, yelling at our son, yelling at the dogs and grumbling all over the house.....Just kidding

It's been a really great day. We woke up, went to the egg hunt, came home and made popcorn baskets, I finished up the rest of my homework for the week, Patrick colored eggs with the kids, we had a big dinner and now I'm going to take a bath.

I was just sitting here thinking about how lucky I am...my kids are fun and happy and love us to the ends of the earth, Patrick is more than everything I could have expected in a lifetime and practically throws rose petals where ever I walk...just feeling a bit blessed today is all. Who wouldn't really. Nothing like an overwhelming feeling of love surrounding me, our home, our children, our marriage, our animals.....mmm, just have a good feeling today.

I wanted to wish everyone a very wonderful Easter. I'm sure I won't be up to posting tomorrow...it's a family day and time to be together. Our oldest will be at their home creating their own new traditions as a family, our second oldest will be coming later in the day tomorrow, and of course the other two are stuck with us!

Have a very Happy Easter everyone!

Some updates and fish tales

2010-04-02T21:08:00.005-05:00

Tomorrow will be the very last Easter Egg hunt that we will be taking our kids to. Patrick and I have been taking our kids for the last 15 years every Saturday before Easter and it's been one of those events that we have a love/hate relationship with. The weather hasn't always been on our side...snow some of those mornings, freezing cold, warm, rainy...every possible element of the weather under the sun.

Aside from watching the kids run around like chickens with their heads cut off, my next favorite part of these events is standing next to Patrick drinking our steaming coffee discussing how we think the fireman's kids are always the winners of the golden egg contest. It's the firemen who put on this Egg Hunt, who hide the eggs, and who also came up with the idea of hiding a bunch of huge golden eggs...the discovery of one of those results in a large Easter basket for the kids who found those large eggs. And I must say, most years, it's been the child of a fireman who has found those eggs.

Truth be told, it's a great event, the firemen work really hard on this, and go to great lengths for all the children in the community. Their kids should be entitled because they reward the firemen with squeals and shouts of excitement. There's nothing like seeing such joy in the eyes of your child--and I've seen it a lot with our kids.

It's still hard to watch all the other kids who get upset or sad because they never find the eggs but in the end, our kids don't need MORE candy and they have come home with a ton of it every single egg hunt. And there's a good 200 kids at this event...so the money spent on this is no small gesture--it's a wonderful community get together that we really enjoy.

Our boy is in his last year of elementary school this year so he will officially be too old to participate next year. I hope he has as good of a year this year as the last two. For the last two years he has won the egg toss contest--year one he came home with a giant chocolate dinosaur nearly as big as him and last year he came home with a giant chocolate Easter bunny. He's pretty pumped for tomorrow.

Off the subject of Easter--we did go fishing on Wednesday and what a trip it was!!! The idea was to bobber fish with night crawlers, enjoy the sunset, and catch some sunfish and sigh as we welcomed this fishing season....

It started out that way...sunfish were being caught but then I heard Patrick's drag going crazy. Using our ultra lite poles with four lb. test and little hooks, we had no intentions of anything bigger than sunnies and crappies. When I looked over at Pat I just assumed his drag was set a bit too lite or that he was fighting to get himself unhooked from a weed..ah, no. His tiny little ultra lite was bent to the reel and his line was spooling off at lightening speed. None of us had a clue what he may have hooked into nor did we expect it.

GD#4 and I anxiously watched as he fought whatever it was for about a minute. Then we could see that it was coming to the surface...the head, then a fin and then it rolled on it's back and was simply being dragged. It's fins were huge and it's tail was even bigger. We thought maybe it was a northern but as Pat got is closer we determined that it was a giant carp. About 15-feet from shore we got a much better look and it must have been about 30-inches long. It was a pig. Patrick kept reeling it in trying very hard to be careful considering the make-up of his rig....at about eight to ten feet from shore, the carp decided to give it one more go. It rolled over and took off. Pat's drag went crazy once again....once it slowed Pat started the process all over but this time, he wasn't so lucky. His line snapped like brittle bones and the fish was gone. We all just sat and looked at the bobber floating out of reach and bummed out. Ugly fish or not, it certainly would have been a sight to see, it had to be close to 10-lbs.

After that, we all started back to fishing for our sunnies and crappies. My bobber was suddenly active--slowly going under. I jerked and was surprised with a big jerk and a fish taking off on the other end. Not nearly as large as Pat's fish but a good size one all the same.

About 15-feet off shore, this large mouth protruded and rose up..and splash. A big bass. Now we know we're not supposed to be catching these and weren't actively trying but it felt amazing all the same; and the thrill....gawd I miss fishing. I got that bass in, we weighed it and it was 2 3/4 - lbs. and pretty. It was the first bass of the season, something that is usually my honor every year.

Well, five minutes later, my bobber repeated the act of this slow submersion. This time, it was not nearly as small...I love fighting bass--they are like putty in my hands most of the time....the tugs on my line, trailing it with my pole...anyway...the fish was getting dangerously close to crossing Pat's line. He began reeling in and 'WHAM' he had a big fish. Both of us were fighting bass...mine had surfaced and gave me a show then Pat's. Once we got them in, I looked at mine as it lay on the shore line and said, "Holy shit, this thing is a monster!!!" Pat's was good size too. I was actually afraid to pick mine up because I didn't want him to flop out of my hand and get hurt. I just watched it in awe.

We weighed them both; first Pat's and his was 3 1/2-lbs. He laid his next to mine and there was no comparison....mine out-sized his by a long shot both in inches and in girth. It was then time to weigh mine--4 1/2 lbs. the biggest bass I've ever caught. What a pig it was and one I was pretty proud of. We of course wanted pictures of them but struggled to figure out just how to go about doing that...the camera was in my pocket and we were each holding fish. I wound up taking a picture of Pat with his first with one hand. He then took one of my fish....and holy crap, that thing is insanely huge. We have the pics but since it's not bass season we don't feel right posting them.

After that bout of excitement things settled down a bit...but I got one more go. Another 2+ lb. bass latched on to my line again. We didn't weigh this one...but there was definitely a down side; our son. The poor little man was devastated because he'd caught nothing but a few sunfish. I so desperately wanted him to catch something of substance but he just couldn't and he was heartbroken. I didn't know how to make him feel better as we weren't even trying to catch these fish, they just happened to grab on. That's probably the worst part is when we try not to catch them we get some really nice bass.

It was a great fishing excursion and for the first of the season I have to admit it was a lot more fun than we thought it would be.

Since then the week was interesting to say the least. The other shoe has fallen off the foot but hasn't dropped completely. I mentioned in my last post that I wondered when that was going to happen...I must have jinxed us! I can't talk about it now as all the information isn't available but Patrick and I are keeping our fingers crossed, trying to keep our spirits up, and really trying to stay positive! In this situation, it's the best that we have right now.

I'm sure I'll put up an Easter post so will refrain from warm and happy wishes to everyone. So until then......

Celebration today!

2010-03-31T07:35:00.003-05:00

Today is my last day of work. I'm so very excited! The ability to stay home and do my homework during the day is probably the biggest relief I'm going to have! It's been tough going to work all day, coming home every night and planting myself in front of my laptop! Not to mention my weekends are consumed with homework as well. It's difficult to enjoy an outing with my man or kids without this looming dark cloud hanging over my head raining down the words, "Homework to do, homework to do!" Ahhh, it's going to be a rough day I know but I can go visit all the kids I work with and have told them as much.

Oh, the weather has been absolutely spectacular!!!! 70's today. And to celebrate my new freedom we are going to go fishing! Oh man we are so excited! Even though I have homework to do! But I can stay up late if I have to to get it done!

Pat and I had a perfect weekend away! We both needed to get away so bad! The best part of the whole thing was Pat won enough money to pay for our entire weekend--hotel, food, entertainment.....we came home and had spent nothing but time together! God, it was so nice.

Anyway, I must get ready for work now..hope everyone is doing wonderful cuz I know that we sure are! Some days I'm wondering when the other shoe will drop!!!!